RE: How To Deal With Time-Wasters .:. and how to get over that

What you discuss here is so true and I think applicable to many of us.

I know I have a problem saying "no" when someone asks for help. But like yourself, when it happens a second and a third time for the same reason, I am not so willing to help anymore. I strongly believe that (and this is what I thought my kids as well) you can only help someone who wants to be helped. Someone who just keeps on complaining (and even battling with something), I believe such a person doesn't really want to be helped.

Secondly, I don't believe in helping someone by solving the problem (or doing the task) for them. I will assist, but that person has to be involved in performing whatever needs to be done. Doing it for them is a guarantee that they will be back with the same problem soon. They learn nothing in the process.

Lastly, what you refer to about customers asking about their computers the same afternoon after you have told them it will be ready in two days...

I know that kind of mentality and I find it extremely irritating. The whole thing is psychological. They often do it on purpose, knowing that if they keep irritating you, they will get want they want. They don't care whether it causes any inconvenience to you or anyone else. I consider it to be utterly rude and selfish.

We need to learn to say "no" without feeling guilty. Obviously, each situation has its own merit, but as long as we cannot say no, there will be people who will walk all over us.

Thank you for this much-needed message, Zoltan! Have a great weekend!

Thanks for your time and this great comment...

I strongly believe that (and this is what I thought my kids as well) you can only help someone who wants to be helped.

This is on spot! There are people that don't know what they want... which is the next level of all this + the thing that they want help, but actually don't, as you said... It's confusing, but I get what you wanted to say...

Doing it for them is a guarantee that they will be back with the same problem soon.

This is something that I TRY to do as much possible... I have learnt this on hard way, but I'm glad that I did... The perfect example is money... If you just give people money (loan), they will not respect it... If you show them the way HOW TO earn money, they will, if they really earn money by doing it...

It looks like a different thing, but it's just like DOING things for others... If you DO that once, you will be "that person that knows to do it", and you will HAVE TO do it every time... Regardless of the fact that that is maybe some trivial thing... It's just another easy button for time-wasters...

Have a great weekend!