Have you ever been in the depths of despair, depression or grief for someone to tell you 'this too, will pass?'. It has one of it's origins in a Persian fable and has a beautiful sentiment. A king wanted a ring that would make him happy when he was sad. The now famous saying was etched onto the ring.
Whilst it does provide a temporary balm, for those that have experienced it, depression or grief can be extraordinary painful. It sits on your heart like a winged thing with talons, paralysing and agonising. This will pass does not always provide relief. It's at this point we reach for anything to dull the pain - wine, valium, anything that will dull the sharpness. Because this too, shall pass is an idea, a concept - a beautiful one, yes, but a tool for pain? Not so much. Many know that it will pass, but the issue is often when, or how. 'Give it time', they say. 'Time heals all wounds'. But it doesn't. Not really. The time that passes needs to be full of action on our part to bring any real ease.
More useful I find is another Persian storyteller and mystic, the much loved Rumi. He said that every emotion, every feeling is like a guest in the house of the soul:
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
— Jalaluddin Rumi, translation by Coleman Barks (The Essential Rumi)
How we welcome with open arms the guest that bring joy, and love, and happiness! How we are so happy to sit and break bread with the ones that are easy, and comfortable to sit with. It is not so easy to sit with the ones with talons and knives. Our first instinct is to slam the door, or to run from the room. But, wolf like, they knock and they knock. And once they're in, they tend to fill the guesthouse.
Yet, sit with them we must, tenderly and gently, respectfully listening - perhaps more so than any other guest that arrives in our fields of consciousness. If we don't, they enter anyway. You are sitting down to lunch one day and you realise they are by your side, reaching for the cup. They lie down in your bed. They wake you in the middle of the night, having filtered into your dreams and caused you to wake crying. The more we ignore them, the more loudly they show up.
This is what deep listening is all about.
Through meditative practices - whether seated, in flow, journalling or indeed washing dishes, we must breath gently, and listen to the messages that are gifted to us. They are the warning signs before the house burns down, the phonecalls to tell us to find the candles before the lights go out.
And even when the lights go out, and we are sitting in the darkness, we have to breath and welcome the pain. I feel you, we must say. I hear you. I understand. You are welcome. I love you. You are welcome. I love you. I love you.
Because if we resist, the harsh reality is that things get sharper and darker - and it will not pass.
William Blake wrote that those that bind themselves to joy destroys the 'winged life'. I have always read this to mean that if you get too attached to things that make you happy, happiness or joy loses all meaning. Perhaps this isn't what he meant, but this is how it resonates with me. )One can chase joy - temporary, fleeting, beautiful glimpses of joy - but it is only one creature in the forest. We can enjoy it when it lands on our shoulder, but we must also be prepared for when it flys away. Joy is not meant to be permanent. It is just a guest, like all the other emotions and feelings that are part of our lived experience. To attach ourselves to it, at the expense of recognising and acknowledging all other experiences, is always going to be to our detriment.
I acknowledge that 'this too, will pass', just as I try to acknowledge that the good things pass too (impermanence is one constant we can expect) but I choose other tools to shine a light in the darkness, of which there are many - real, concrete, actionable skills that help loosen the talons that grip the flesh of my heart.
And then, only then, will this pass.
With Love,
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''این نیز بگزرد''
''This too, shall pass''
You got me teary eyed with that poem from Rumi!
It looks like he is one of the few who had felt what actually life is.
Acceptance of both sides, is the key to peace! <3
When I read Rumi, my heart rate slows down and I feel peaceful. He really conveys beautiful truths in such sharp, incisive yet soft, poetic ways.
Acceptance is part of it, yes. Thanks so much for your comment
!ENGAGE 25
He just takes you to another level of state of mind. <3
ENGAGEtokens.Beautiful, resigned, serene, melancholy... This piece wrong footed me once or twice. It was as though I was constantly asking myself where are my feelings about this at now. It conjured up feelings of the transition of Summer to Autumn... In a sense you know you are going to miss the long sunny days deeply, but the colours of Autumn are so damn beautiful, you want to see them also.
We humans are bizarre creatures, we often want one when we have the other and vice versa, the real trick... Ah that's easy, accept what IS and not what could be and find whatever joy in it if you can. The most profound understanding of the sentiment of being pragmatic about impermanence is love.
To have it fully we must embrace the pain that could come at any moment... But without the risk of that pain, love, real, unconditional love could never even be a possibility.
Hugely resonant Rumi piece, such a serene slightly detached perspective that makes a whole lotta sense after even a modicum of thought.
Regarding Blake...
The sheer number of times I have later discovered I had an entirely incorrect interpretation of a passage, the lyrics of a song or a famous speech is astonishing, although it doesn't matter a jot, the value we find is the value that sustains us.
(Always get back eventually lol)
Have an amazing weekend my friend, but always mindful that this too shal... Oh you know already :)
!ENGAGE 25
Thanks for your lovely comment. It's appreciated. Sorry it took so long to get back to you (must stop apologising to each other for this!)
ENGAGEtokens.This could be used as a metaphor or literally how one might handle real house guests in certain situations.
Ha, absolutely! **repeats mantra: they too will pass, they too will pass...🤪🤪🤪
Give me equanimity rather than happiness any day.
There's some story about a monk I remember who was having a bad session dealing with horrible thoughts, the teacher saw this and said 'just throw it all out'.
The next day the same monk was sitting there smiling, enjoying some happy memories.
You probably know where this is going....
The teacher saw this and said 'just throw it all out'.
It's a dangerous thing getting too attached to routines that make you happy. Before you know it, you're 75 and addicted to Countdown.
Noooooo not countdown!!!! Yes, I agree - equanimity is far better. I heard someone say the other day it's better to be content than happy. I think its a similiar idea to that parable. Happiness kinda sucks- it's virtually unattainable and made of fairy floss.
It's such a delicate balance. We also know that whatever we give our attention to thrives and grows and gains power. I guess in the end it is a choice we make - how long to sit and listen and learn, and when to open the curtains and choose to allow the sunshine in.
For some people, it never passes. They listen, engage and wallow in & with that pain until they drown. It's a tough call. I say that having had my lover commit suicide from depression 18 years ago.
Each one of us finds our own way. Or not.
Sad for those who never find the inner tools to get out. Good friends of mine included.. You are right - it doesn't always pass. Even more reason to pass over 'this too shall pass' if it doesn't seem to serve. Sometimes advice is little more than sentiment.
And gosh yes - always fling the curtains open, even if we would rather wallow.
Beautiful thoughts and writing 🙏🏽
Thanks so much - it's kind of you to say so xx
The guest house gets visited by all sorts of weird fuckers everyday. Sometimes it's ok to close the door as well, but eventually you gotta see what they need or they start slamming that door with intensity, lol
Weird fuckers!!!! And insane ones. Mine are in da house, baby. Such assholes!!!
Maybe offer them some balm tea? Might relax them for a change :P
Well written , love it .
I shared the poem with my friends .
:-)
Thanks so much. Xxx
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Ah! Beautifully put- a powerful lesson we can all benefit from - thanks for sharing!
it is so hard not to offer words of encouragement sometimes, we have this strong desire to help others, to assist in their healing, but really all we need to do is to be present, because that is all that is called of from them and from us. To just be and accept all that comes our way, allowing it to flow in and out. It takes a lot of time though to get there, to a point where you can be comfortable with both. As both are vital for us to grow. The pain and the joy go hand in hand and flow from one to the other, we really can not have one without the other. Beautifully written as always.
You've got this my friend, it is just trying to navigate these waters in such intense times, is so challenging and yes it will be rewarding, just have to get through the shit storm first xxxx
Thanks so much @trucklife-family, I appreciate your comment and your friendship, and your presence. It DOES feel like a shit-storm. Funny, I had a rune reading the other day with our favourite astral connector, and he clarified a few things about the path I'm on which helped me get clarity - feeling into what I need to do to live my best self actually makes a lot of difference to my mental health, rather than being at sea with it. There's going with the flow, but also carving out a path that is necessary and important in these times so I don't feel utterly adrift.
I hear this song recently and it made me think of you
"I rise up
in every way
that feels right
in my own soul."
We all have our path in this, and being true to yourself is where it is at, love you xxx
p.s I will try and record it for you xx
YES I'd love to hear your beautiful voice! Thankyou!