Me, just over 3 years ago almost ready to Pop
3 years ago today , I birthed my daughter unassisted, in the caravan next to my truck.
From the very beginning of my pregnancy, I knew that I wanted to free birth my baby at home. I have shared my story before, about my journey to becoming a doula. How the experience of my first birth, led me to become very passionate about a woman's right to choose where and how she birth her baby, to my passion for the freedom of birth.
As a woman, our bodies are designed to birth our babies and they know exactly what they need to do. Down through the years we have lost faith in our bodies abilities, we have been led to believe, that birth is a medical procedure, when it is nothing of the sort.
Of course, there are times when medical intervention is needed, but that is not as common as they would have you believe. Modern medicine deems you as being negligent if you choose to birth at home. Yet if that were the case, we would be extinct. Just look back into your family tree, there was a time when all your ancestors were born at home. Hospital births, only became popular because that was where royalty went to birth their young, so it became a trend, a show of high class.
Today, we live in a world were so many are out of touch with their bodies and have forgotten how truly powerful they are.
We have become so dependant on others to tell us how we feel and where our bodies are at. There was a time, when women knew how their pregnancies was going,when they could feel the progress of their baby in the womb. That time is still here for those who wish to return to it, to get back intune with themselves and their growing baby.
I choose that for my last pregnancy, I never went for any check ups and I had no scans. But I spend a lot of time focusing on my pregnancy, being present with my baby as it grew in my belly. I communicated a lot with her whilst she was in Utero. I listened to what my body needed and what she needed and I have complete faith in my ability to do so.
I knew pretty early on in the day that she would be born that night. .I was not uncomfortable, but my energy had changed and later that evening I began to experience slight back ache. I knew that my baby was preparing to come earthside, just as I was preparing to meet her.
I had a caravan that I had made into a nest, that is where the term nesting comes from, a mothers desire to create a safe birth space, not a nursery as most would have you believe. All animals nest, searching for the perfect spot where they will birth their young.
I birthed her, right there between those two couches!
I painted the inside red and orange and I covered the walls in positive affirmations and made lots of pretty candle holders out of jars. When night time came, I went for a walk on the land and then at 10:30 pm I said goodnight to my 2 girls in the truck and went into the caravan. Promising that I would wake them when their brother or sister arrived.
I put some music on and danced, and then I sang and then danced some more. At one point the music was too much of a distraction, so I turned it off. It was just me and my primal sounds. Mooing seems to be my birthing sound, I found it so soothing, I still do.
Then things started to go up a notch, I got to the point where I panicked for a moment, what if the baby came out feet first. Even though I had felt your head coming first. That little doubt, was enough to intensify the experience and I got louder as my daughter got closer to being born.
I heard the dogs respond to my primal sounds and then my ex came in, (he later told me that the dogs howling had woken him and as he came outside he heard me). He arrived just in time to see our beautiful daughter be born. She had a lotus birth, left attached to her placenta as she got used to her new surroundings.
Still attached to the placenta!
Looking back on that, I realise how lucky I am to have had a choice. (Legally I am not meant to free birth, but I took that choice anyhow.) But that is not what is important, what is important, is that every women should have the choice to decide where and how she gives birth.
Every women should be informed about the magic that her body can do and should be supported and nurtured before, during and after birth.
I chose this birth for me and my daughter and that choice really empowered me. I wish, for every woman to feel empowered by their birth choice.
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My wife applauds you! You are right. Everyone should have that freedom
I nearly threw up when I saw the placenta right enough.
:0D
Thank you, yes your wife is a Doula too, I remember our discussion over that. I had to include the placenta, it might not be pretty to some, but to me it is beautiful xxx
She is indeed, she loves it. Although came to much these days with the Corona nonsense.
I know, it is a beautiful smashing thing. I'm just teasing :0D
Yes things are so quiet now for us all, give your wife my best, has she ever considered joining Hive, now would be a great time? We need more Doula's onboard xxx
She originally joined Steemit but to be honest this place and there look like cluster fucks to the outside world. I can't recommend it till things get better. You are absolutely right though. There needs to be more real people here and interacting. Doulas for defo!
yeah it takes time to get your head round it for sure, I felt I was swimming way out of my depth for a while, but once I got a grasp of it, I was one happy fishy, still am, even with all the latest developments, here's to this ocean keeping it's waters clean xxx
If the waters can stay clean then here's to plenty more fish! :0)
This looks beautiful and dangerous at the same time. Even though our ancestors had no hospitals to give birth in, several women were lost to childbirth then when compared to now. Not every woman has the strength and endurance to give birth on her own like you did. Not being the first birth made it easier, I will say.
I lost my first wife to childbirth. She had the baby by CS after which she died. Doctor said she died as a result of eclampsia. This is someone that went through ante natal and observed all the necessary procedures. The experience left me devastated. You will understand my fear if I say I will never support giving birth on your own in the absence of a trained expert.
Good write nevertheless.
I am so sorry for your loss @gentleshaid and I completely understand why you would not support my decision.
I was never in danger though, I took full responsibility for myself and my baby and if I felt either me or my baby, was I would have sought out a birth attendant. For me it is all about women being informed and making informed choices and having the support to do so. We are all different and everyone's decision should be respected. xx
With experience come confidence. If my wife decides to do free birth after 2 children, I might support her (perhaps with medical professionals on the standby). It should be a collective decision between spouses, knowing that the husband only wants the best and the safest route. If something goes wrong, the trauma it will cost the husband and other family members should also be considered.
Wow, the first time I'm hearing about your experience with free birth. You are so brave! Very inspiring. I totally agree with you, this body wisdom we have in us, most of us are just disconnected from it. My mom is a midwife so I grew up hearing a lot of birthing stories...She is also interested in a more holistic approach to it.
thank you @mamrita, wow how lucky you were to grow up with lots of birth stories, that's exactly as it should be xxx
Your decision took a lot of strength and character. I respect you for that and your decision.
My daughter was birthed in a hospital, because her mother wasn't interested in the advertised pain. So she had an epidural. While she felt and saw nothing, I was on the frontlines turning white, lol.
I can't believe you didn't even have a midwife around to help out. The experience you describe brings images of a euphoria brought on by a psychedelic trip. Kudos to you and behold, she's a surviving and thriving young lady. 😀
thank you @solcycler, yes a lot of women have no faith in their bodies ability to birth, there is just so little positive birth stories being shared xx
Wow, that's something else. When your daughter is old enough to understand, she'll respect you beyond comprehension.
Major respect to you.
thank you my friend xx
Wow! This really moved me. Much admiration and respect. Your posts always light me up! People have been figuring out that much of these so called birthplaces are like baby factories and a few really have that assembly like attitude. So many kids would have been born vaginally. Thinking about the human microbiome it's the missing ingredient from the mother along with probably such a beautiful experience and environment that makes up more than just the babies immune system.
Wooooahmygosh that's so awesome! Good work mama!
This is such a powerful and empowering story. It's so important to remember the wisdom of our bodies and the freedom of trusting that wisdom and making our own choices.