PUNCTUATED BY POPPIES
POPPY GROUP I
Another week and another phone call to keep the love flowing. It requires several calls, more often than not to make the connection. Every call is vastly different and each time during the call, there are disjointed flips all over the place Today, I failed to keep the continuity up. I missed picking up on the “disconnect” several times.
Each week, it seems to progress further into areas of the unreachable. Sometimes the constant repetition wears me down. Communication is beginning to break down and the time is very short now. I feel it inside.
POPPY GROUP II
These are photos I took of a large cluster of poppies my mother grew in front of her house. This was my first opportunity to study poppies closely. People do grow them where I live in the city. Although, I don’t think they’d be fond of a stranger snuggling up to their flowers, camera in tow, without knowing me. It’s a 50/50 chance when I ask, with potential unnecessary rudeness attached.
My mother has always been happy to let me roam wherever I want with my camera, as long as it isn’t pictures of her! She’s encouraged my creativity from the beginning and often would go far out of her way to do so.
I was absolutely entranced by the poppies and their delicate petals fluttering in the breeze. The seed pods also fascinated me. The fullness and shape of their form, pregnant with seeds was lovely to me. I was also scoping them out as subjects for my ongoing “Wounded Flower Series”: Wilting Flower and Discarded Flower.
POPPY GROUP III
While I was on the phone with my mother today (those weekly calls), I brought up the poppies she grew on the front lawn and the photos I had taken of them. She was there when I took them and I showed her the photos at the time.
Silence, while I listen to her struggle without words to recall (some slight noises). I had it in mind that this would bring back a pleasant memory for her, which was my intention. Nothing. She didn’t remember and fumbled to find words to express that. I moved on. This is how it goes. I never know how she will be from one moment to the next.
POPPY PODS
She’s suffering from dementia and has been in the hospital since February of this year when she had a fall at the care facility where she was living. Last year, I came to terms with the fact that I will never see her in person again. It’s the distance. It’s my personal situation. I had managed at the beginning of 2020 to get myself situated to make it possible to travel to where she is. Then the whole world was put on pause and this has permanently ripped away any chance of my ever seeing her again.
Since being in the hospital, I’ve noticed an immediate rapid decline in her health. I have been, for months, trying to pin down some information about her situation. There are also additional family complications besides the hospital to deal with. Lots of careful stepping needed, to say the least.
POPPY AND PODS DETAIL
The most important thing to me is to have that last bit of time with her, even if it’s only a phone call. It’s all I have left. Sometimes the calls will break me down into grief. Sometimes calls are better and we share stories, and laugh. All the while, I have to fill in missing pieces, be patient, set aside my own feelings, and be present with her.
CLOSED FLUTTER I
Today was a more difficult conversation. She forgot about me on the phone when they delivered the evening meal to her room. She gets distract easily. I wait. I call out to her a little louder, wait some more. I give it 5-10 minutes, hang up, wait at least another 10 minutes, and then call again. Also, the call was disconnected a second time today. Not sure how it happened, so I waited and called a fourth time. I spent a little more time with her. I made sure she knew that I love and value her always.
I want those to be my last words to her, “I love you”. It’s the only thing that matters. I don’t know when she will no longer recognize me. Every call could be the last one. I’ve already gone through this once before. It doesn’t get any easier the second time around with the same thing, different loved one.
I know I am not alone with this kind of experience. This is most especially true in current times. So many have suffered and are suffering from being separated from their loved ones, maybe forever.
CLOSED FLUTTER II
This post is dedicated to my mother, who has always been a primary inspiration in my life. She has assisted me in more ways than I could ever express to grow into the person I am today. I will love her and hold her close in my heart forever.
May all of you treasure those you love dearly. Hold them close in your heart with love. Make every moment matter. Change happens without notice.
POPPY WAVE
All photos taken by Nine with a Pentax digital 35mm camera and 90mm Tamron Macro lens.
Beautiful piece of writing, I'm sorry for the situation you are going through, from the words you wrote here I can grasp that you are a great human being and doing the best you can!
I'm sure your Mom is proud of you and loves you deeply ❤️
I wish for your phone connection to stay up for the longest time possible!
Take care! Peace! 😎
Thank you @trippmane! I do the best that I'm able to each day. That's all that can be done. my mother has told me she is proud of me and loves me many times.
Coming from a place of love is the most important action anyone could take towards another, be it family, friends, acquaintances, or strangers.
Thank you for checking out my post and your supportive comment. Peace to you also!
❤️
❤️🤗
!discovery 30
A phone call would do... I think this is the first time for me to tell someone: "Thanks for sharing!"
Thank you @stayten, I appreciate the support and thank you for the NFT, I know that's a special one for you. 🤗
@nineclaws this is the best, poignant, heart breaking post I have read since I woke up.
Dementia is never easy to deal with , I know. It is tough on the person and their loved ones. I wish your mom could see thee images again and relive those moments.
I love the way you patiently wait and call her again. Your phone calls tell a thousand stories.
I am sure she hears you say that you love her and feels it in her heart. All moms do.
Bless you and virtual hugs to you.
And those images are amazing, I love the pods pregnant with those seeds, ready to explode.
Thank you @sofs-su! I think of all the times she's had to be patient with me and all the things she's gone through in her life. I wish she could see the photos, she kept asking me to send them. I had to explain that there's no way to do this and why. She still didn't understand. She doesn't know what's happening in the world either. I try to keep it simple, which helps.
She does hear me and knows I love her. So we have that at during and at the end of every call.
I'm glad you enjoyed the poppy photos. I'm now wishing I'd taken more when I had the opportunity, lol.
Blessings and virtual hugs back to you. Thank you for checking out my post and leaving a comment. I so enjoy the comments and interaction. 🤗
My pleasure. It was so touching to read this post and the images out of the world. As a mother that is the only thing I'd want to hear from my boys. Take care. Hugs and good wishes being sent your way.
I thought you most likely are a mom. Thank you for sharing that and confirming that "I love you" is the only thing you'd want to hear from your boys.
Take care also, hugs and good wishes with lots of love to you!
Thank you @thekittygirl; I did not know you went through a similar experience. I know many do, which is part of the reason for my doing this post. I wanted to share this so others who are struggling know they are not alone.
Another aspect I've noticed with dementia, is personality change. That one is a little harder to deal with.
I am very grateful I have the phone calls. I'm never going to be able to travel again. Canada is in bad shape now and it's only progressing further into that. The same is happening in other countries. Today, I saw that a couple is not allowed to visit their dying father in Australia. So many are being put through a great deal of unnecessary suffering and my heart goes out to all of them daily.
A video call is impossible; the hospital will never do that, nor are they set up to do so, and it would be of no priority to them. I don't have a video cam either and there would be zero privacy, even if it were possible.
I've put a few memories of my mother in three posts now. I'm sure there will be more coming in future posts.
Thank you for your heartfelt comment, support, and understanding. I really appreciate it very much. 🤗💜
Thank you for sharing your personal story of what you've had to go through. Frankly, it does get to be to a point with this kind of illness where it progresses to such a point the loved one needs to be in a place where they can have the medical care necessary.
It's interesting how there was an immediate change for your mother after the surgery and anesthesia. It reminds me of what my father went through.
Thank you for taking the time to leave me such supportive comments and sharing your personal story. Thank you also for your kind wishes. I know it matters very much to my mother, these phone calls, so I really don't care how difficult it is for me. No one in our family, nor any family friends are calling her like this. No one is going to visit her either. Both of those things bother me, but are beyond my control and have only incentivized me further to rise to the occasion and make that effort.💕
Hello @thekittygirl. The same happened with my parents. 18 months after my mom's passing, he passed away. He had no desire to go on without her after 50 years together.
I never experienced either of them in truly debilitating states. They were gone suddenly from massive heart failure. Don't know if that's a good thing.
Thanks for sharing.
Hello @nineclaws. Lovely article in tribute to your mom. I could feel the warmth and love you have for her. I didn't experienced Dementia in my family. As I told TheKittyGirl, they were gone too quickly from massive heart failure in which they didn't recover.
On thing you can be sure of and proud. You are doing all you can possibly do for her.
I hope you get the chance to see her soon.
Take care, and thanks for sharing.
Thank you for such a lovely comment. I'm sorry yours were gone so fast. There's no time to prepare when it's like that.
I'm grateful for many things where my mom is concerned. She's at least a 24 hour drive from me. Due to circumstances I don't have any expectations of seeing her again. Everything is up in the air these days. I'm focusing on making the best of what I have and am grateful I have that.
I'm frozen by this post, I found today reflective really because I could access a fraction of memories of my past experiences that were kinda locked away or blocked due to an incident. Seeing your post, I don't know where I relate, seems like both. I have forgotten a part of myself and it's still not the same feeling with what you feel. I'm just ___ right now and the next question is why I had to read your post today I saw it two nights ago. And its back to ___.
Be fine @nineclaws, love the photos... Pop waves the most.
I've can relate to this very much:
Blank is a good place to start. When you're ready, the information will unlock, trust in yourself. Thank you for checking my post out and leaving such a thoughtful comment about your own experience.
Poppy Waves is my favourite also. Thank you!
Stunning photos. Love the poppies, you could lance those and let the milky sap oxidize for up to 24hrs on the poppy bud to collect some opium.
Thank you @aagabriel! Those aren't opium poppies though, you'd need the right variety, LOL.
I have volunteered at a retirement home before and I have seen a lot of families experience these heartbreaking moments with their parents who experienced dementia. You are taking an awesome initiative to call your mother but please also check in with the retirement staff to see if they can set up a video call for your mom so you can see her. Thank you for sharing this with all of us.
I can imagine you must have seen a lot of heartbreak volunteering at a retirement home. From my experience, they primary focus is on profit. I never wanted to see my mother or father in one of these places. I went so far as to pack and arrange to move back to their house while they still lived in it to assist them; however, it did not work out.
I accept the situation for what it is and am grateful for what I have. There's nothing else to be done. The video call is impossible; due to several things I've noted in my reply to @thekittygirl.
Thank you for checking out my post, your kindness and support. I appreciate all of it. 🤗❤️
this is my favourite flower ever... peace love & healthiness to you and your mom!
I would never have thought a poppy was your favourite flower! Someone in the city had their entire front lawn covered with them, multi-coloured. I would see it on my way to and from work for years when taking that route. It was an amazing sight; you'd have loved seeing those.
Thank you for your kindness and support @mondoshawan, I appreciate it deeply. 🤗❤️
yep, poppies are growing only on healthy soil, so a good indicator of how the place is treated... As a child i remember the see them in all the cereal fields, today with basf-monsanto treatment, they disappeard. ha
I didn't know that about poppies, so interesting. Wow, there must have been so many it was dazzling. Monsanto has done it's lovely best to interfere with and destroy the natural world. Nature doesn't need anyone to direct and control; it has that all figured out without artificial interference.
yeah, and please tell that also to all the scamdemic pushers... 😁
Hahaha! You didn't get to hear the two songs I made up and sang loudly while I walked down the street here yesterday, lol. I'll leave it to your imagination as to the content of those lyrics. 😝🤪
Congratulations @nineclaws! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Your next target is to reach 700 upvotes.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPCheck out the last post from @hivebuzz:
Thank you!
This post was shared and voted inside the discord by the curators team of discovery-it
Join our community! hive-193212
Discovery-it is also a Witness, vote for us here
Delegate to us for passive income. Check our 80% fee-back Program
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thanks for checking out my post and your good wishes!
That's great, there's much to be enjoyed about being on Hive!