Thank you for your words. I just had therapy together with my brother - he invited me, it was the first time for him witnessing the extend of the situation. It seems like I do filter out very well when I talk to them about what's happening between the mom, Lily and I. He felt like you, and he's not a violent guy at all, but had the darkest thoughts.
The psychologist gave great insights, in and of itself worth a post maybe. But I did well defending myself in front of Lily, not letting the mom get away with her empty accusations. And though it's very hard, especially for my brother, it's important to not see the mom as evil, but as a human. Lily is half her, and Lily defines herself as half her, so demonizing the mom is - from Lily's perspective - demonizing Lily. Neutrality is the key here, not to camouflage her bs, but also not judging.
The latter is the next step on my personal development ladder. That's going to be an interesting one. It was really great to see as well my development over the last 7 years (it's the same psychologist that accompanied me when the mom had taken Lily out of the country without telling me, and I didn't know where they where nor if they'd come back), and get reassured on my path, and get some advice on what not to do, and how to avoid slipping (which I did, too, in my anger - small things, luckily).
Anyway. Today is a better day. Lily is going to stay with the mom until Monday or Tuesday, so I'll go party with my brother in Quito tomorrow. Couldn't do that without the mom.
Yay, well, a small silver lining... Enjoy the party
Yes! I mean it's important not to demonize anyone as by definition you remove their humanity! Compassion always. But this is advice that most parents could take on board, right?