You know? You just wrecked something for me. I have fantasies (oh, yes, multiple) about a few women I've known, a few cars and motorcycles, and some epic rides. You are telling me that it's in the same category as 'what I should have had for breakfast'? Pshaw.
Grab hold of your balls, cause here I go. You have suffered a grave injury, a debilitating injury. You can't fucking do what you used to do. Get over yourself. All you can do, all any of us can ever do, is our very best each day.
If you can fantasize about your reflection in the mirror and know that you are trying hard as you can as often as you can, then that's enough. This is not a 'more is better' situation, it's a 'I'll try to be a little better at ______________ tomorrow.
I hope you understand (I think you do or will) that I'd never say anything remotely like that to someone I don't consider a friend. Ordinary folks would get a "You want fries with that burger?" response.
:D :D
The challenge for me is, that when I look in the mirror and reflect, there is always something else I could have done. Perhaps it is an eternal problem. Perhaps it will be a process where things start to click again, but at the moment I feel a bit like a lego block, trying to work as a cog in a gearbox.