That's me in the photo, climbing a ladder that sort of goes nowhere; I don't know what I was thinking.
This photograph was taken just before I turned four years-old in the back yard at the property on which I was raised. You'll see it's all fields and not much else, I was raised just outside a small rural town in Australia with flat-land farming on three sides and rolling hills and vineyards on the last. It was a legit upbringing, a nice place to be a kid and, despite having some turmoil in my younger years, I was happy and certainly was when this photo was taken, I had zero fucks to give and was just living life. I look happy right?
Over my life I have faced many adversities and challenges, some of which almost ended me completely and some, whilst serious by nature, I was able to cope with and even thrive because of.
The first was the racial vilification I suffered from the moment I went to school, around six or so months after this photo was taken. It was brutal, something I didn't understand, and it caused me great heartache, fear and uncertainty about who I was as a human. Don't feel sad though, it was one of the best things that could have happened to me.
I learned from that terrible, destructive and disgusting behaviour my fellow humans handed me and as I climbed life's ladder I used those lessons to my advantage. In fact, I learned from every difficult event, every bad action conducted against me and every single thought, attitude and action I ever had or took over my entire life. That's the only way I knew how to live.
When I look back on my life I know I was/am taking ownership and responsibility but at the time, as a boy, adolescent and even (sometimes) as a grown-ass man, it just seemed the logical thing to do and so I did it. (Mostly.)
As time moved so did I, up life's ladder, (sometimes sideways and backwards too), and I'd use what I learned previously to make it easier, more productive and effective and to move towards better outcomes in general and a better version of myself...it's called continual improvement and I got really good at it. But I fucked up so many times as well; I failed miserably, quite recently too, and with a person I love deeply.
That's the thing with life, it doesn't always, (or ever) really go one hundred percent to plan.
I didn't know that when this photo was taken though, I was clueless innocent. I'm not now though, like all of us, life has marked me indelibly, left deep scars that I will carry forever - life will add to those too, like the one most recently that...well, never mind, I don't want to say.
No matter what hand life deals us we need to move on through it, (I need to as I know no other way). That's the only way for us to get to the other end of it and have half a chance of looking back without the chains of regret binding us.
Looking at that kid in the image above, the me I was back then in 1973, I wish I could go back and make myself see life through the eyes of the future me at fifty three years-old. How different my life would be...but then, would it? I'd probably just have made different choices and life would still have thrown challenges in my path. It's a futile thought-process though I guess, either way life has to be experienced, mistakes made and lessons learned...and we need to succeed and fail as we climb, or fall from, the ladder.
I don't know how many rungs are on my life-ladder, or what I'll find when I get to my last one, but I know I've lived them all as best I can based on what I knew and who I was at the time. I've lingered too long and not long enough on some of them, skipped some and revisited others, and along the way I've seen myself more clearly and become just a little better than I used to be.
If you have any comments at all please feel free to share them below. You can be as open or closed as you like, it's your comment and I'll respond either way. If you have any thoughts just share them, I enjoy the engagement.
Thanks for reading.
"Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised." - galenkp
[All original and proudly AI free]
Any images in this post are my own.
I think this was very inspiring and helpful. As someone who frequently goes through mid life crisis, reading things like this helps put things into perspective. Life goes on. It's how you deal with it that matters. We need to learn from our experiences, but also not let them tie us down. Thank you for this wonderful post.
Thank you, it was me just thinking out loud although I get so much value from reading things like this from others I thought I'd share it.
We all face adversity, every single one of is, and the only way through it...is to keep going. You know? Of course, that's not always easy, but with the right tools in the toolbox we have a chance. The time to get those tools (build the skills) is when things are going better because in times of adversity we're often not thinking straight.
Thanks for your comment, I appreciate it.
I think we are going to keep climbing the rungs on the ladder and hopefully learn and improve as a person along the way. You learned from very early on how cruel other people can be and in many ways rather see that side than the fake stuff we see so often. Life is crap in general for the most of us and it is what you can turn it into and the people you have around you what makes it special. You and me are roughly the same age.
I think my experiences in life have led me to be more pragmatic, a realist, to see things for what they are and have the ability to deal with them either internally or with external action. I also have a fairly strong sense of code, honour, integrity and so on (as I personally see it) and that is something built up because of the events I've lived through, upbringing by parents, influences, training,work I've done and so on.
I totally agree about what you say about the people being the difference between a negative and positive view and life experience. A reason I keep my circle small and filled with quality people.
Thanks for your comments mate, I appreciate it.
Only a pleasure. My circle of friends is very small and many would consider me boring but those are the real people that count and have known them for years. The kind of people you can phone after a year even and they will answer like you spoke last week. A close network of army and sporting buddies, but that is different from true friends as you have something you experienced together and is more of a lifetime bond.
I believe there's a lot to be said in favour of a small friends group; it keeps things simple and manageable. I kno a lot of people and call them different things, (friends, acquaintances, colleagues, family etc.) And each has value, and receives it in kind, commensurate to who and what they are. No one gets everything though. I like simplicity though. You sound similar.
That photo is really adorable and charming, the little Galenkp playing with a ladder, I feel that his smile radiates happiness, of course he does, surely not even through his mind he thought that many adversities would come, however, I believe that the great Galenkp of now has known how to surf them and has become an exemplary man.
If I had to talk about stairs, at this moment I just want to say that as time goes by here in Hive my admiration for you goes up bad and bad steps, my respects.
Thanks you, from what I'm told I was a pretty decent little kid I guess, although I haf my mischievous moments too...and was punished accordingly. 🤪
I have worked hard to be who I am, far from perfect for sure, but generally a good person I'm told. I believe so too. All my life experiences have helped make that possible, and whilst I've got many things wrong, I have gotten th m right also.
Thank you for your kind words which ai appreciate you saying, and for taking the time to comment.
Ohh no, being perfect I think would be pretty boring and I don't think you are boring at all.
Thanks to you for always responding 😉
I agree, being a little imperfect leaves room for some more interesting moments, and situations from which to learn. I prefer continual improvement over seeking perfection.
I loved the idea of continuous improvement, perhaps perfection does not exist, as many things can be subjective.
By the way, thank you very much for all those hearts you have left in my comments, it has been a pleasant surprise to wake up and see all those notifications. You are very thoughtful and generou. Thank you for taking the time to do so, I really appreciate it and it means a lot 🤗
I sometimes go through and upvote a heap of comments for several users if my voting power is higher (hasn't been used up), I did that for several users yesterday, yourself included.
I am very happy to be among the lucky ones yesterday, it is an honour and a great incentive. Thank you very much Galenkp 😊
Oh darling, let the little boy on the ladder have his moment of joyful curiosity, innocence and vitality. No good telling him what's to come. Just say g'day to him and know that somewhere, he still exists inside of you, free and unbounded by the knowledge that the ladder ends, or you can fall off it and fucking hurt yourself on the way down.
I think, to be honest, that ladder was the ugly ladder and I fell down it and hit every fucken rung with my face on the way to the ground. That'll explain a lot. 😉
Yeah, I understand, as I said in the post. " life has to be experienced, mistakes made and lessons learned..."and we need to succeed and fail as we climb, or fall from, the ladder."
Oh, mine was a tree!
But you're beautiful xx
Lol, great reply! And thank you, we all are right?
That smiling and happy face already knew that any negative event in life would be used to move forward. You look like a wise child who knows the final victories of his soul as he goes through life.
By the way, I was also born in 1970!!!😬😁
I am thankful for not having had experiences of racial discrimination, in Cuba (which is not perfect in terms of racism) in general, we live well with all the colors, we are very mixed.
That staircase in the photo is very significant 🙏
I was an intense little kid at times, but often joking around and with a good sense of humour. I had mischievous side too, a sense of honour and respect, other things besides. Looking back, I can see the attributes I have carried into adulthood hood were there all along, I just development them through experiences, adversity, failure and success.
1970 too huh? It must have been the year all the excellent people were born! 😊
😁...
🙏🎉🎊🎉
Every adversity bring the best of us. We just need to keep our patience, that what my dad used to say and I found it very effective almost every time....our life is like a long drive, but if it happened to be a on a smooth road then it becomes too boring as mere pressing the accelerator won't give you any fun rather it make your leg more static, but a drive with ups and downs, and with multiple turns make the journey more adventurous and interesting....our life is similar, the various phases ends up with some kind of lessons, and once lesson learnt, we are not suppose to repeat them again.....talking of school discrimination, I had a similar experince with rich vs poor .....me obviously the poor one unable to cope with the treatment ..but I have nobody to share..the ordeal is very haunting. That's why I have lessor rich friends in life, as i naturally get mixed with a poor fellow easily, and I don't want them to suffer what I have to gone trough....
My dad used to say a similar thing, each failure brings us closer to being the right person to create the success we seek, or words to that effect. Dad's are smart I guess.
The rich/poor thing is yet another way people manage to justify cruelty to others, more bad human behaviour. It's common, as is racism l. I'm just glad we're the sort of people to take it and turn it to our advantage.
Thanks for commenting, I appreciate it.
The child in the photo seems to be really happy today.🤗
Well said sir @galenkp ☺️ Your words resonate deeply, showing how life's trials sculpt us into who we become. The courage to face adversities head-on and extract valuable lessons is truly commendable. Your story exemplifies the essence of growth, reminding us that every step on life's ladder contributes to the unique tapestry of our existence.☺️
I was happy then and am happy now, mostly. Life has been hard at times, but I'll live it as best I can. Seems the only way to go.
How we face adversity dictates how our future may look and whilst I think it's ok to fail, I think we need to strive to continuously improve...which is why I work so hard at having the right attitudes; it will bring the right actions.
Exactly...Courage.
Thanks for your thoughtful comments and for reading my little post in the first place. I'm grateful.
Happy looking kid for sure. I'd personally like to go back and watch myself as a little kid for a while. Just to see how I once was before all the weight of everything started becoming real. It is hard to believe that me existed once.
I've probably done the same with my life ladder. Gotta admit I've been on the current rung a little too long and working on making the next step. Not sure if I'm going up or sideways, but it's not static at least.
I know what you mean and I feel the same way sometimes, usually when things are not going well, someone drops a million tonnes of weight on me, or maybe treads on my heart and then spits on it before they walk off. Fuckers. But I remember that worse has happened I guess, and that better can happen, and then I move on.
That's the way. Sometimes we even move backwards I guess, I have...but that is sometimes what I need as it can give a better perspective and some reason to want to move forward...The reason is I don't like giving ground, fucken hard headed and resolute that I am.
I hope you're well. Wednesday night here, big day today, bigger tomorrow and Friday too, and then a relaxing weekend I guess.
Geez, I don't know what happened but figured something was coming. Hit me up on Discord if you wanna vent.
Stepping backwards should be something I need to learn to do more of voluntarily. You and I are similar in that regard. Usually life finds a way to make me step back and it is not a nice way either.
Wednesday went very well. I finally got my wheels back under me, got out and had the fuzzy animal on my face and head trimmed. Today hopedully can get a few chores done and tomorrow is an appintment with the ticker doc. Then hopefully a relaxing weekend for us as well.
Enjoy!
All good mate, just one of those things that run over you like a fucken M1 Abrams on the way to blow the fuck out of some Tali. Knocked me over is all, but it takes a lot more than that to keep me down. I'm good man, or will be.
I believe a lot of people won't get the step backwards comment, but I see it as essential because it can take a person out of the fray so one can see it more objectively. It's called detachment and you've probably done it, or seen the LT do it from time to time. It allows one time to think and sometimes that's what we need to see some solutions. Then...back into the fray.
Burnin' rubber again huh? And you got shorn like a sheep? Nice, I had some important meetings today so neatened the old beard up, although I keep it pretty need all the time I guess. Get onto those chores man...Actually, there's a topic in the #weekend-engagement about chores this Friday. :)
Have a good one, I'll catch ya.
No one is perfect, good to listen to Tim McGraw's words, yup look in the mirror, realize where we went wrong, try to adjust to be better, life's song for everyone.
Nice memory climbing a ladder with no destination, ain't that the mind exploring new heights!
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I agree Joan, it's best not to seek perfection too, that way lies disappointment because it simply doesn't exist.
I'm not sure what I was doing up the ladder. I'd like to say something manly like fixing a leak in that water tank, but the reality of it is I was probably just playing around...and I probably jumped off the top rung, seems like something I would do.
Type of thing we did, climb onto a roof to jump off landing on a foam mattress, we could fly.... couldn't we?
Perfection lost, no such thing, just try be better than yesterday, don't make the same mistakes 🙃
They were the good old days Joan. Now...the most adventure a kid gets is making it to the next level on a video game. #pathetic
Neurotic parents can only blame themselves for the obvious outcome we witness all around.
Yes, parents are to blame for a lot of things, there is no doubt.
Parents and circumstance, times have changed not for the better.
You looked very happy, without even suspecting what would become of your life, on that ladder that would soon form more and more rungs in different directions, many unsuspected.
If you don't want to answer, don't, but... why racial slurs?
Human beings can be very hurtful, but those children learned from their parents, the parents are responsible. Children learn from example and they have seen that.
I went through something similar in high school, a lot of envy and criticism for not liking to go dancing, or being more of a loner, or studying too much... they hurt me, but I came out stronger.
And what happened to you made you a very strong man and able to overcome life's obstacles. Those facts were there for a reason. Cause and effect.
Those stairs... sometimes twisted stairs we have to climb, but we come out of each step better, don't we?
The family roots you had made you able to cope as a child and then, life circumstances shaped you.
Keep climbing the ladder of life Galen!
I was a happy kid generally. School messed me up and some other spin-off things around that, but I still managed to grow up into something...something umm...well, just me I guess. I think I became who I am because of those things and others and I'd not change it.
Human beings are disgusting creatures generally, with a few exceptions, or at least humans have the propensity to be that way...the weak among us give in to that and become their base self. I've dealt with a few such people and handed them their comeuppance.
I wouldn't go back to school.... a lot of people say: what happy school days, how could I go back to that time and I say nooooo, no way!
Yes, human beings are cruel, most of them, although I have found good people along the way and I am grateful for that... the others, let them get what they gave, because life is a two-way street.
I'm glad you gave some of them what they deserved!
I found the above meme the other day and find it fitting in a few scenarios such as this. We certainly have challenges in life and the one I can’t understand the most is racism. I give people equal chances no matter who they are but people who are pieces of shit, those I dislike and it doesn’t matter what race they are.
Life is definitely full of challenges, bumps and successes. I don’t know if I would change any of it because it’s made me who I am today, not a perfect person but unique in my own right and striving to make my sons life a better version of mine. Mine wasn’t a terrible life but I think you know what I mean on that front.
I don't know, maybe I was spat on, physically beaten, had my school stuff thrown around, called hateful things and was ostracized completely because people just didn't like me and racism wasn't a factor, but I was five when it started and I think I was a typical five year old so...yeah, racism. All good though, when I look at my life now...well, it's been a pretty fucken legit one so far. I healed, learned stuff and became me thanks to that stuff back when I was a kid.
Like you say, changing it is a fools errand, even if you could it would change who you were and that may not work out so well.
Hi Galen, I put myself in your place, even if I don't think, feel, or do the same as you, with your personal story you deserve my respect and consideration or your feelings because not everyone has access nor have we lived the same experience. 💜
Thank you, I appreciate that, and hope that I've earned that respect.
🌹
That had to be rough. My youth was pretty run of the mill and I will be the first to admit I had it quite easy. Growing up in rural America, I had my fair share of setbacks, but they were honestly quite minor as far as trauma is concerned. There is a scale the use to determine past trauma and how it impacts you moving forward. My score would be quite low I think.
It was man, five years old and not understanding any of it...I learned though, the very hard way, about the filth a human being can be. It helped me do what I had to later on as an adult though. It built character too, strength and the ability to act with unswerving intensity.
People go through so much in life, I'm sure you did too, and I think it's best to use it to ones advantage. I'm not the guy who falls in a heap and stays there and aim credit those early days for that strength.
I can tell it made you a better person over all!
I believe it has and I'd not change it if I could. Although, it was terrible for me at the time.
I will also say it with a song...
"I Wanna Go Back and Do It All Over" - Eddie Money
Sometimes I do too mate, aspects of it, say sorry a time or two more often, shoot straighter at times, hit harder, many things I guess. But we can't, we can only learn from what we did well, badly and what we didn't do.
Anyway, we're a couple fucken nutbags bro, but we're going ok right?
Day by Day here. The future is so uncertain. 👍
Yep, it can be indeed. I like to plan for it though, I'm not the guy who wants to get there and have nothing planned.
Wow, you look very cute in the picture on the ladder, was it a toy ladder?😂.
It looked good on you, your parents really tried taking very good care of you.
I hope you are taking very good care of them as well.
Talking about life's events, so many people have had negative experiences, including myself, but some took that senerio to learn, others hadn't learnt much from what they had gone through and life keep treating, and repeating same to them. It's very dangerous!
At this point they may never move forward to be better as expected,
In your own situation, you were fast to always learn from any angles life opened it's chapter to you, whether good or bad, that's a virtue you have many do not have.
Keep teaching us, myself I will keep
learning from you.
Thank you for sharing your life's experiences with us.
I would also appeal to you to reconcile with that very dear person you said you hurt recently, maybe your wife, child or a dear friend, that's the strength of lasting relationships.
I always read your post because I always also learn a lot from them,
Thank you for being sincere to us.
A toy ladder? No, that's a ladder against a massive water tank, so not a toy.
My parents? No, they are both dead.
Reconcile? You don't know the circumstances so it's best you don't comment on it.
Photos of childhood sums up so many memories. Sometimes we forgot our little part of our childhood life but pictures help us to bring back.
I also spent my childhood in rural area. I used to play with neighbors in the street. We used to visit the gardens of guava. Spent days in climbing up trees and sitting in fields.
. Spent days in climbing up trees and sitting in fields.
That's what I did too, among other things. As I got older I got a little more mischievous and the antics got somewhat worse, but I was a good kid, brought up well and I had respect.
Well, difficult situations in life shape our personality and make us strong for the next hardship.
But it doesn't work every time, some unhappy moments totally break us. But it is only our thinking that we are broken, Time is the biggest healer and at the end we are here, living this life.
Like when I lost my grandmother, I was very close to her, I felt like life is nothing without her but see I am here commenting below your post and living this life.
They do, I completely agree...and some people commit suicide for that reason, quite often in fact. But if a person hasn't ended their life...well then, it seems like they want to stick around and maybe apply some life lessons from the past for a better future. Whining about what happened, won't help the future.
The right thoughts, attitudes and actions are the big healer, and that can take time. Don't you think? Time itself doesn't do much but move a person closer to their ultimate demise.
I understand you lost your grandmother and that's certainly difficult. We lose people to death all the time...All four of my grandparents, both my mother and father, friends and family to death by suicide and natural causes...You will die too someday, as I will, and everyone we know. It's part of life. I guess what's important though, is what we do before we die.
Yes it is true that those who don't commit suicide, will stick around their past but there is possibility that they get something in future which help them getting back into life..
That something might be a human being and in most cases it is the opposite gender. Or it might be anything which can divert that human from his past.
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Ok, thank you very much @galenkp.