Home, a place where you should feel safe, accepted, and secure.
I think that home is where I am physically located and where my heart is. I never really pinpoint anywhere nor put a number for a location to be my home. Technically, I simply have no roots as even my family moved quite a lot and only later in life they choose a place they feel secure and accepted to be their permanent residency. Safe to say, I followed the same pattern except what ideal to me is a lot different than them. Now, a little bit older, I started understanding what I needed in life and the ideal living situation.
Personally, I have a pattern where I would travel 6 months in each and recuperate another 6 months, both mentally and financially. During these 6 months, I would try living in different islands, cities, around Indonesia for quite a while to taste what it’s like living like a local. For a note, Indonesia is massive, each place offers a lot more different culture, living pace and beliefs. Recently, I tasted living in Thailand and Laos for quite a while and they opened me up to a place where I could practise what I believe in without much worry. But there was just something missing about it. Still though, I love both and thought to make them my 3rd base with a chance to relocate permanently. That decision led to the idea of moving back with my mom and closing my apartment permanently.
It was simply based on how the international airport was a lot closer in my mom’s house than my apartment. There are a lot more flight routes internationally and making it a home base sounded perfect. However, since I ended up getting my finances straight and counting every single penny, living with my mom was not ideal.
Living isn’t about money but also about your own sanity. Considering that there are a lot more distractions at home, drama, and logistics were a lot more difficult to find, I ended up spending a lot more money. I feel like building a business there was simply a dead-end, the innovation ratio and customers that are willing to pay slightly more were pretty difficult to find.At the same time, my mom enjoys a laid-back approach to business. It wasn’t my style and everyday there’s always something to bicker about. That being said, everything felt a lot better when I managed it from afar.. She also developed some sort of unhealthy codependency that I had never seen before. While usually if I am far away, she would do everything just fine and it was much easier to supply her with capital, dealing with customer services and marketing. She was also a lot more resourceful than when I was there. As my frustration grew and my landlord was mentioning that someone was about to move into my room, I panicked.
I went back with the fastest train I could find and told her to cancel the new tenant. Since technically I’ve been there for almost 7 years now, she was fine with it. The place I am living has everything from starbucks, pork, beer, and airport. Except, the airports service lesser routes and flights are way more expensive with long connecting flights to the airport nearby my home. But since now I intend to stay low and focus on my studying, being in this city even the first few weeks has proven to be a lot more financially positive and a great experience.
As I mentioned many times, the place I am living though can be a bit like a jail where you don’t know whether it’s day or night but I learned to work through it by meeting up with my friends at least once every two weeks as a lot of us are busy people. In the past, my only problem was that I got way into living secluded life and leading a hikikomori lifestyle. But now that I have a sort of healthier mindset and learned my lesson, this place isn’t bad. I could even see myself making it my first home base had it not had too many earthquakes and close to an active volcano. Rent, food, and almost everything is so reasonable compared to living with my mom. It’s not because I did a rough estimation but I really ran the numbers on the spreadsheet and it’s a lot cheaper.
Looking back, I knew that eventually it would be very difficult to leave this place. As I could also practise what I believe in without anybody nagging me. And I came to the conclusion that I think a single person should have 3 bases. 1 is where you meet your inner family, the 2nd is a place that supports you to make money and the third one is where you can socialise. Until I meet a partner that has all three, that’s how I would approach seeing a "home".
 | 𝘔𝘢𝘤 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘫𝘢 & 𝘤𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘶𝘳 . 𝘈 𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦, 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴, 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘺. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨, 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴, 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸𝘴, 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵. 𝘖𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘯, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺. 𝘚𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴. 𝘍𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘫𝘰𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯! 𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘱𝘷𝘰𝘵𝘦, 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬. 𝘈 𝘳𝘦-𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘰. |
I thought you have always been an introvert, Haha 😅. Home is actually a place where your heart is like you have quoted, it shouldn't have to be a place where you pin point yourself
It's sometimes very important to move to places where you feel the reality of life, enjoy having yourself. Thailand is one of beautiful places to visit in Asia to enjoy nature
I really enjoyed your last word there. Thanks for sharing, your post really is making my day already.
I am an introvert only for 6 months each year then I would go out and socialize 🤣 There's more to Thailand that I haven't explored but I love the city, considering to move there at one point in life. Thanks for checking it out too!
Haha 😅😅, six month introverted sounds nice. Our upbringing is absolutely the reflection of who we are. There's more to socialization, it's so sad that some people don't really focus on the importance of socialization
Well, thanks for sharing. I really enjoyed it 😊
It's also my dream to visit different countries and learn about the lives of the locals. Maybe one day you would like to visit in the Philippines. It's a beautiful island with lots of smiling people. I hope one day you will find your "home" and may he brings you peace and happiness. I am also looking for mine even I'm still a student but it's just a beautiful feeling to have someone who have those three things you mentioned above. Nice reflection about your nomadic lifestyle!
It's been on my list this year 😂always has been. I heard a lot of amazing stories especially the island. But I wouldn't mind just checking out Manila for a day or two. It's not gonna be easy to find the three but I am willing to compromise with socialization,I am not too big on it 😂. So, that should be fine. You should try Indonesia,it's a lot similar to the Philippines and everything feels a lot more similar.You might also understand bahasa, just like how I would understand a few words in tagalog 😄
If you are planning to visit here in the Philippines, I highly recommend you choose Siargao island. Actually there are so many islands there but Siargao is the one that will never make you want to leave the island anymore. It's captivating and it's my dream to visit there one day. How old are you? I think it's not difficult for you to find the right man who will treat you well and can considered as home.
Are you an Indonesian friend? Yes, Indonesia and Philippines are close neighbors. Is Bahasa closer to Tagalog?
I want to check out Siargao and Coron. It's the blue water that's tempting to me. I am Indonesian and somehow Bahasa though not really close to Tagalog is really similar. For example, the word Ako, in bahasa it's Aku
Yes, you must! Philippines has so many beautiful islands. You should also check the Camarines islands. Philippines is like Thailand with lots of paradise.
Wow, I didn't know that we have little similarities. I think it's time for me to learn Bahasa.
What was missing there?
I mainly lived in hostel and with a friend, so I didn't get to taste full privacy. A good job that pays really well is also something that was also missing 🤣 (working on it at the moment). But I also I heard and learned setting up a business isn't that difficult in Thailand. I still have to come back for another time just to confirm. But I could finally see a capital I would love to live in. Prev, I thought Malaysia was good but nah, that one has a lot more strict rules and religiously speaking, unmatched with what I believe in. Thanks for reading 😊
I totally agree with this. There are sometime which you won't feel so comfortable doing something's around your parent. It is good you have been able to get your ow n apartment now, you can actually stay alone and protect your privacy
It doesn't matter how close you're to your parents,sometimes there are things that just off limits and exhausting to be around them for too long. 'd rather have privacy and work in peace too 😁
Yeah, you are right. It actually works in every aspect of life. Having one's privacy is just the best one could do to have a peace of mind.
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