Brainjury: A traumatic experience caused by hearing what one doesn't want to hear.
Note: I am still working on the definition.
Today I went to see an occupational therapist who was charged with testing my physical capabilities through a few tasks. There were some strength tests of grip and pinch which I tested above average for my age, and then some other fine motor-skills testing. One of which is the image attached.
That is turned sideways.
But essentially it was boards of three shapes with holes in it that were attached with a plastic not onto threads. Using one hand only at a time, I had to unscrew, reposition, and then recrew into a new position. The first reposition was above my head, the second was below my waist, the third was kneeling and blind, having to reach under a screen, and the fourth to return to the original position. Each section was timed and I tested, average. It was mindless work and I didn't rush it, but I also wasn't going slow. My hands tightened and got stiff toward the end.
I commented that this test seems very much geared toward men, because I think someone like my wife would struggle heavily with it.
I thought I would do a bit better than I did, considering I do this kind of thing pretty regularly when working in the garden and around the house. But I also know I have some finger issues and have got a lot clumsier, but it never feels great to see it highlighted. I am kind of used to it, but it always seems like another nail in the coffin.
But, since I tested average or above, the therapist didn't recommend any physical therapy. However, what she did recommend is "surprise, surprise" cognitive therapy, which she knows I should have got five years ago, but didn't. The physical tasks took about forty minutes all up, but she could clearly see that the demand was not on my body, but on my mind. I often struggle for words, but after concentrating on the screwing and unscrewing, my brain was screwed. I even noticed it, because it was such a sterile environment, I could just concentrate on my responses.
Brainjury?
Well, at least I heard what I wanted to hear, which is a recommendation for cognitive therapy. I don't think much can help from a functional standpoint, but I do think that working with someone can help me build better strategies to deal with it. As I explained to the therapist today, my own approach is a bit like someone with early onset dementia, trying to coverup the inevitable slips.
After the testing was done, I asked about next steps and schedules and then we had a short discussion about strokes, as the therapist spends half her time with new stroke patients. I mentioned that I wished the treatment approach was not to treat any strokes as mild, because there is no such thing. The effects aren't necessarily physically debilitating, but can have profound effects on life nonetheless. She agreed, and said that unfortunately the treatment plan is focused on the physical aspects, and as a therapist, she wishes they would spend more effort on the cognitive side, because she sees the effects at all levels.
I don't know if any of this will lead to any definitive change, but getting any help brings a better feeling than just being left alone out at sea, with no sail, no oar, and very little drinking water.
What was good is doing these tests is a bit of fun, even if the results aren't great. And what I think I will do in the summer is build some kind of activity board for Smallsteps to practice her own motor-skills, because I think that she will quite enjoy it. We has already requested that I teach her how to do some things in the shed like hammer nails straight and use a few basic tools, so I think it will be fun to perhaps have her build her own practice wall.
I think we all have to learn how to deal with brainjury, hearing things we don't want to hear, but today's culture allows us to cancel it, rather than deal with it. We live in our information bubbles, picking and choosing what is easiest for us to hear, rather than what helps us grow the most. Feeling safe, and being secure, are two different things.
Taraz
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It is actually hard to hear what you don't want to hear, so much easier to avoid that. There is so much to do to distract ourselves from the unpleasant conversations that it is almost sure that I would procrastinate on difficult conversations unless my wife brings those to me :)
Definitely is. But it isn't so useful.
The only thing others can really help us with, is challenging us to grow stronger.
I was prescribed a cardiac stress test a bit ago and it was intense, but kind of fun. I was glad I was able to get a baseline of what my heart health looked like. This activity you did looks pretty intense too! I can't even imagine all the positions you say they had you in! I'm glad it went fairly well though and that you are finally getting some of the therapy you had been wanting.
What kind of things did you have to do for the stress test?
Nothing too complex, just normal "maintenance" kinds of things. I dropped the nuts a couple times though :D
There are two kinds of stress test. Chemical is for older people or people who can't do the treadmill one. They inject you with stuff to get your heart rate up. I did the traditional style where you have to be on a treadmill and the up the speed and incline every three minutes or so. I made it to just shy of 10 I think it was. 12 and up is considered top condition. So I did pretty well I think.
That is great. I don't think I could do that at all. I suck on a treadmill.
I am good at taking chemicals though! ;D
Haha, perhaps one day you will get the chance!
Teaching Smallsteps practical steps like woodwork and the rest is a good idea. Many parents don't even teach that to the male children. They rather have their kids whirl away precious time in front of screens. And they grow up lazy and entitled.
Scoring average or above in the physical tests shouldn't come as a surprise, since you're pretty physically active, in the gym and elsewhere, despite still feeling the effects of the stroke. You would have been much more physically fit if the stroke didn't occur.
Was talking with some friends about this last night. The wife is a teacher - lots of entitled children with low skills these days.
Weirdly, this has worked against me getting help. Average is good enough....
Right, we often prefer sticking to our comfort zones, but facing tough realities can help us grow. Good that you are making progress with cognitive therapy.
I hope I can get a little help to maybe make thought processing easier.
Is going to stick with me. Growth rarely comes from comfort, and your post is a good reminder that listening to the hard truths, without letting them define us is its own form of resilience.
If we aren't willing to listen to negatives, we are going to hobble our potential.
True enough
Your idea to build an activity board for Smallsteps is a great way to turn a medical experience into something positive for her. Teaching her to hammer nails and use tools doesn't just build motor skills, it builds that confidence and security you mentioned at the end.
Last year we tried some things and made a birdhouse, but it was a bit too much for her at that point. Now she is interested in learning without building anything in particular, so there is no "cost" to failure by ruining something she wants.
There’s also growing evidence that even repetitive, low-complexity motor tasks can become mentally exhausting when automaticity is disrupted. What looks like simple hand movement on the outside can require constant conscious supervision on the inside. Instead of the task running on autopilot, the brain has to stay on for every small step.
Even though you don't love the results... I think it's helpful to think about them in terms of where you are along the journey. The results don't define you, they just indicate where you are at this present moment and give you some guidance on what can be improved.
I do wonder if some cognitive therapy will help the negativity in your last paragraph. I know you've said that you've always been like this... but I have noticed in almost all of your posts you feel the need to put someone (or society) down and I can't imagine that negativity is useful or helpful. The world that you describe in your last paragraph is just not the world that I see at all.
Brain injuries have always existed. But until the advent of computed tomography (CT) scans, healthcare systems didn't take them seriously.
Healthcare systems need to focus on risk factors to try to prevent people from suffering brain injuries. Brain injuries cause disability. They are very costly for the healthcare system to treat and complicate the patient's life.
The rehabilitation process should be intensified in the first few months after a brain injury because this is the window of opportunity for the patient to recover the most. As time passes, recovery plateaus and reaches its limit.
Each disease is unique, but in general, healthcare systems are far from providing adequate treatment.
Although in some brain diseases, treatment consists of doing everything possible to slow the progression of the disease.
We mustn't lose hope; technology is advancing by leaps and bounds, especially in medications.
I'm definitely choosing to live in my own bubble. Block out the naysayers and surround yourself with yes-men!