While having an interesting conversation with @heruvim1978, I was reminded of something that I am often reminded of - don't compare myself to the normal. It is of course natural to make comparisons, but these days, it has become far more "dangerous" to compare to what we might consider normal, because normal isn't necessarily good.
The conversation started long ago, and it has continued in bits and pieces over the months. It is about the way my brain works (or doesn't work) when it comes to my ability to visualize. I am not going to go into all the details here, but essentially the "automation" part of visualization is not functioning. Automation for many cognitive functions lays in the cerebellum, a very old part of the brain, often called the lizard brain. It is among the first pieces to have developed.
Anyway, what was cited and is often cited, are the stories about neuroplasticity, where for instance, someone loses part of their brain and other parts learn to pick up the slack. There are plenty of instances of this, but people should be careful in their understanding of how far it can go and what is achievable. Just because the brain can reorganize to return some aspects that might have been lost, like speech, it doesn't mean that it will return to the same level, nor does it mean that all of the lost functions return.
We have to be careful when we hear things like "they can live a normal life" because normal is very subjective. Just because someone can have a shower, tie their shoelaces and cook dinner, it doesn't mean that they are all okay. Just because they aren't drooling in the corner, are working smoothly, and are able to laugh, it doesn't mean that a person is able to do what they could before at the level they need to do it.
For instance, a couple months after I had a stroke, I went through four hours of cognitive testing with a clinical psychologist, with the intention to work out what next steps were and what they would provide for support.
They could provide nothing.
The reason is that while I was mostly disconnected like in a partial out of body experience, could barely function and was struggling to think clearly, I tested "average or above" whatever normal they were using, so that they weren't allowed to do anything for me. The psychologist said they would spend endless amounts to teach a person how to feed themselves again, but nothing at the higher end of the cognitive spectrum.
And, herein lays the problem, because what is "normal" for one person isn't going to be normal for all people. So, while it is great that someone can learn to eat again, or learn how to tie their shoelaces by using a different part of their brain, it doesn't mean they can just slot themselves back into life.
Over the last few years, I have heard a lot of people tell me some amazing stories about people who have been able to return to "normal" life after some horrendous events. But, there is something interesting to note here, and that is that some of these stories are often talking about the same person, and that these people are outliers. The fact is, most people don't get anywhere near their previous functions back, even if they are able to live a relatively normal life considering the trauma. And, it isn't their fault for not trying hard enough, as that blame is like blaming someone for not working hard enough to grow an arm back after it is amputated in an accident.
While it is possible to learn to eat and do activities with one hand, it doesn't mean that all activities are possible with one hand. And a stroke is essentially an amputation of part of the brain. While it is possible to move some functions of a lost piece to another part of the brain, some parts of the brain are pretty unique it seems, and the chances of other parts learning or connecting in the right way, are slim to now. According to some stories, it is also possible to have some trauma and wake up speaking a foreign language perfectly - are you willing to smash yourself on the head with a hammer, assuming this will happen to you?
Normal is not a good indicator of health.
For instance, the average IQ is 100 (by definition) and the first standard deviation, so about 68& of people lay between 85 and 115. Being at 115 doesn't make someone even bright, just average, but they are far brighter than someone at 85 - yet both are "normal". And then, if for instance someone was performing tasks that required 140 IQ, someone with an above average 120 IQ wouldn't be able to perform the same tasks. And if that 140 IQ person was to have some incident that dropped their IQ to 120, they would still be considered above averagely bright, but wouldn't be able to do the tasks they did before.
The average person is poor, overweight and is opinionated, but doesn't have the ability to fix much in their lives. They are employees, not bosses, they hold relatively basic jobs that don't require high intelligence, and they are likely a bit unhappy in their lives, or want more than they currently have.
This is pretty normal, isn't it?
So when saying that a person can live a normal life, is it the normal life based o the averages of everyone, or is it their normal life? If a person lived in extreme poverty and illness and was transferred to a normal life, they would likely be pretty ecstatic. But, if a person was living a life in extreme wealth and health at the other end and was transported to the same normal, they likely wouldn't be quite as glad.
There is nothing wrong with living a normal life, but we should be careful when we define the lives of others based on what we consider an average life, or even a good life. Because a good life for one, is a disaster for another.
Having said this, the brain is amazing and can do all kinds of things far better than we are currently doing them, and we are continually learning more about how it works. But, a lot of it is still unexplored and why it works the way it does isn't always known. We know that we can exercise it and improve parts of it, but that doesn't mean that there is endless growth potential, or that any trauma can be corrected. It is far more complex than that, and so much of it lays outside of what we know. Some people get lucky, some are extremely unlucky with the outcomes they get from their brain, or from their life.
It all averages out to a normal.
The average normal doesn't help an individual though.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Ensuring a minimum standard is ensuring a minimum standard.
This reminds me of something somebody told me a long time ago: Just because everybody agrees on something, that does not normalize a thing or a behaviour.
Yeah, that being said, this is what my work is about, intelligence, so basically I work with people who are autistic or/with learning difficulties (mostly) and genius or talented people (rarely) as learning difficulties and autism are the ones that are receiving funding. The genius and talented part is mostly ignored.
it happens in schools a lot too now - 80% of the resources go to the bottom 20%, not the top. I get it, but what we are essentially doing now is putting a huge amount of resources into areas that aren't going to get much return, and eventually, the books just don't balance.
Can you imagine how 8000 geniuses together can change the world? (That is an average estimate number of people that get lost through the system and never achieve full potential just in the UK, per decade.)
We are terribly bad at resource allocation of all kinds - just look at how much we spend on war.
Yeah - it is a good way to look at it. Just think about how some of the worst atrocities humans have inflicted on other humans, have been "agreed to".
You're so right! Normal is wholly subjective and who is to say what 'normal' is? Not some stuffed shirt sitting behind a desk touting a piece of paper titled Diploma.
The further society creeps down into the sewer, the more normal degrades anyway. From the outside looking in, I'd say you are well above normal!
I don't feel "normal" from my perspective, but maybe from the outside looking in, I am doing okay. Sometimes I just wish life wasn't such a struggle, just to do "normal" things.
I am quite happy with a house I live in. I suppose I could lose few kg. All in all my health is not ideal but whose really is? I am on the poorer side( I am sure that glasses price is gonna bite my finances even more). But many have even less than me.
The problem is that for most humans there is never enough. So they could already be living ,,a normal'' life and just don't know it. I think that my life is quite normal as it has ups and downs. If it was much better than it is it would not be normal. It would be pretty damn awesome.
I am yet to meet a single person who is completely content in this life - there is always something they want. It isn't always something material, but there is always more to have.
Most people are on the poorer side - on average. They have to be when less than 10 people own more wealth than the bottom 50% of the world.
When we sit with someone and talk to them about what they are going through, that’s when we’d get to realize that so many people are not okay even when we think they do…
We all have what we’re going through but at the end of the day “normal” is the word being used to classify all of us
Perhaps it is because in a lot of the world, we don't sit with people and actually talk deeply. Life seems far more shallower now, even though people are craving for something with meaning.
Dear my bro @tarazkp !
What is average normal?
Do you have faith that you can return to the way you were before you had the stroke?
No.
I pray for you! 😯
I agree everyone is different and you cannot gauge people as being normal if you do not know what their abilities were before the health incident. I used to judge my thinking abilities as above normal until I realised I did not rate what I considered normal so you have to be careful what normal is. If you lived in Africa with a large percentage of the population uneducated would you like to be considered normal?
The article highlights the dangers of comparing oneself to the idea of "normalcy," especially in the context of neurological differences and recovery from traumatic events like strokes. It emphasizes the importance of understanding individual experiences and challenges rather than adhering to a standard notion of what is considered normal.
This gives a really thought-provoking reflection on the complexities of defining "normal" in the context of cognitive abilities and life experiences post-trauma. It challenges us to reconsider our assumptions about what constitutes a "normal" life and emphasizes the individuality of each person's journey and how different it is person to person.
The term normal or average is something I don't really like because what can be considered normal for A is different for B. Everyone is different and it's all about being the best version of ourselves. Stay strong.
The brain is truly fascinating for its complexity and capabilities. Although there is still much to discover, I have always been excited to know that we have the ability to learn and improve more and more through mental exercises and continuous learning. Of course, despite how much we try to improve, it is very difficult to develop potentials much higher than the average in which our IQ is located. On the other hand, defining what a normal life is can vary according to the observer's perspective, since what may seem normal to some, is not necessarily so to others.
There is a difference with what is normal medically, and what the public considers normal. I think you experienced first hand what medically normal is after your test. Things like being able to eat, speak, move the limbs and body parts, not reverting to a child or some extreme neurological problem. That is what they're concerned about. A pianist having difficulty playing the piano immediately is not their concern. If she can move her fingers and arms, and has no problem in the brain, then it she can play again eventually if she works on it.
Public normal is what most people have, or consider a basic necessity. A roof over their heads and food to eat everyday. What is subjective though are the non necessity things like going on vacation or having expensive things. That is why we have terms as poor, middle class, and rich.
Your reflection on the intricacies of normalcy and resilience is both thought-provoking and deeply insightful. Your journey following a stroke offers a powerful reminder of the complexity of human experience and the importance of embracing individuality and empathy. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and perspective.
So true man. All things in perspective. Exactly how I think about parenthood!