If it was just me, I might not care about any of this.
This was how I finished my article on earning for opportunity and it got me thinking about how we are changing culturally. The birthrate is declining rapidly in most countries on earth, and social problems are on the rise, as community conditions degrade. We are more materialistic, impatient, self-centred and disconnected than ever, and we pay strangers to provide for us, never knowing or caring about who they are, or the conditions they face. We favor instant gratification over delayed satisfaction, and we want everything now.
So the question is:
Do people without children, care less about the future?
This is not a "you don't understand if you don't have children" type of question, it is far more practical than that, because to care about the future might require seeing a future to care about. It could be that those with children are more like me, where a lot of what I do is to provide some set of conditions and experiences for my daughter, even if I am not around to see the outcomes. Having a child provides a purpose to behavior, affecting decisions that extend beyond my own immediate needs, or what I will need in my lifetime.
If I didn't have children, perhaps I would be more consumptive and what I would do and buy, wouldn't have to have longevity, because I wouldn't be thinking about passing it along to anyone. Maybe, that lack of responsibility for another human, would translate into a lack of responsibility for all humans.
For instance, it would be interesting to see what kinds of people build real-world communities and what kinds of communities they are. Are the groups that look to improve society made up of predominantly childless individuals, or is it those who have or plan to have children? The "best" for our child is often seen from a financial perspective, but it also should consider the fabric of society and the culture the child is going to be exposed to and interact with. This means that the type of community also matters, as it is this that provides opportunity and stability across the wide spectrum of needs.
And, at least from my own experience, people with children get less choice with who they interact with, so there is more diversity in interaction. For instance, in the article linked, I wrote about a family that was economically challenged, a family that was comfortable, and my own - three different family units that might not interact otherwise, but are brought together by the children being friends at school. This gives each unit some level of insight and potential for reflection on the conditions of others and may influence changes in future decisions.
Maybe having children takes us out of our boxes in some way, and forces us to consider the world from different perspectives, as what we do and where we go, as well as who we interact with gets considered under the "is it suitable for my child" to experience this. A parent thinks about what their child is exposed to and is often filled with fear that they are going to do damage or, they are not going to do enough. As I mentioned in a comment yesterday, a lot of publicity is put on parents who work too much, yet as far as I have seen, almost none is put on parents who work too little. Which is worse for the child?
Parents often also face a lot of tough decisions that they have to make for others. And often, it will come down to sacrifice for the child, while the parent goes without. A parent isn't free to do what they want, because they have someone completely relying on them to provide, food, shelter, clothing and everything else they might need, including love. And that bond of love can soften the blow of personal sacrifice, and even change it into something empowering.
Perhaps being a parent increases resiliency?
I have my own suspicions that the changes to our culture around having kids is going to heavily and negatively impact on our communities, but I may be wrong. However, at least at a personal level, children provide a continuity through family, and tend to give a sense of continuance past an individual life. How this affects those who don't have children now, or will be raised in a culture that has devalued parenting, it is hard to say.
It might not be a problem at all. It might just be me.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Never a straight forward answer here when looking globally.
Educated youth witnessing what is happening in the world today appear to be waiting much later in life before making the decision to have a family. Stable families that are well structured is the future, having children is about sacrifice one needs to be aware of before planning a family, continuity is a far back as living memory, it is a privilege to raise your own.
Country like ours with poverty, too many young have babies (many school going age), not adult enough to consider what they have brought upon themselves/little ones, many grandparents raise the youth or child headed homes though illness/death. A Government Grant of ZAR350/month (approximately US$20) not much to feed and clothe a child on, yet birth rates continue to increase.
Something that could be debated for days or perhaps years, I don't think there is an answer within an ever changing world.
What is going to be interesting in the not too distant future, is how the "developed" world is going to handle an aging population. The same groups are railing against immigration, yet that is pretty much the only way it is possible. So, the places that are struggling now will be in demand, but that move of people is going to heavily affect culture at local levels.
At the moment we are in a "need to hate" world, soon... "Hate to need".
World is out of kilter, movement of people has altered much, as has attitude toward building like they did after second world war, yet even that was not a totally fair system.
Circumstance and mindset has become offset by "me" concept, not prepared to get hands dirty only wishing for high level, highly paid positions in "need to have" throw away world ideology.
This leads directly into immigration where people are prepared to do menial labour then "need to hate" arises, not making people welcome, arriving with own cultures.
Youth need to feed into systems to support aging population where laws are applied paying into pension funds. Currently done a 360 turnabout in many places where aged are looking after the young, warning to the first world countries, this is happening in places where it never happened in earlier years.
straightforward answer:I dp not have a child because I would like to prioritizeme first.I came from an Asian culture and people believe that they need their children to take care of them when they are old.
Reality check:kids are not insurance policy.weather they want to take care of their parents or not is their own discretion.
I dont really know about people but for me its better not to have kids rather than impose a lot of burden on them
This is common and the main reason these days I assume. So, what do you think about the future? What if prioritizing your experience, degrades the experience of others?
It is an interesting thing to consider.
it depends on what a person's priority is.is it raising children,a family or personal comfort and focus on career?
As I have said,a child is not an insurance policy.some people think that by having children and raising them they would have someone who will in turn look after them in their old age.
Overpopulation is a challenge affecting many countries with consequences for the environment, the economy, and people's quality of life. Overpopulation leads to shortages of natural resources -food-; increased competition for jobs and housing; and inadequate health and education systems. As well as marginality, social inequality and increasing crime in all its specialities.
Friend @tarazkp, nature is wise, in due course it decimates the population, hence the decline in the world birth rate you refer to.
Who's a dad and who's not; it's clear that the experience of being a parent completely changes our view of the world -well, for responsible parents-. When you don't have a responsibility towards third parties, freedom is complete. When my parents jumped ship, I was left with that feeling of attachment that I still have, but a kind of liberation from responsibility -towards them-, conditioned me and gave me the opportunity to take radical actions such as migrating to another country; something that I would never have thought of when they were alive.
Nature is not wise, it is totally impartial. It has no intelligence, no knowledge, predicts nothing. It is always in the moment. It doesn't care about life, or death,it doesn't care if life exists at all.
This is how many seem to feel, hence the question. If there is no responsibility toward others, there is no need to think about those to come who will have to face the conditions we are creating now.
Really interesting Q. I'm glad I can choose who I interact with - the thought of social networks based around other parents sounds sub optimal! You'll have to build or rebuild them wout kids anyway in another 10 years or so!
Selfish bastard.
It is sub-optimal in many ways, but perhaps that is part of the value. We live in a culture where we can optimize what we consume - how is that working out for the world?
And referring to my answer in your previous post, I think the pandemic was created also for making people get used to live alone/be alone. Therefore,, they wouldn't choose marriage and hence breeding.
It is like a sorting system for genetics.
More than anything else it seems, having a child is yin and yang. While part of me ponders the impact of a slow down in birth rates on their respective communities, curbing an unsustainable world population helps balance that. When I do to much of a good thing for mine, I find negative repercussions to balance out the good.
I am not sure people having kids think about the greater impact on the world or much outside themselves. That or they don’t even decide at all and it just happens and is dealt with. For SURE it changes someone and their thought patterns, especially those who are in it solely for themselves. It is a necessity.
One thing for sure for me, it is the childless (by choice or circumstance) that are the ones to say to me things like “oh the children today are in for a miserable life when society falls apart” or “parents are going to regret having children for their sake when things continue to unfold in the world like they are now”
Maybe parenting forces us to be realists and fuels us with the optimism we need when striving to create a better world and outcome for our children.
I don't think being a parent makes people necessarily more caring of nature, but out of self-interest, it might.
Perhaps. Maybe it fills is with the fear of failure in the eyes of our children. No one wants to be a deadbeat dad.
And you are right about what childless people tend to say. They don't seem to actually care about changing the future for a better outcome though.
I guess I can't really speak to this because while my wife and I have no children, we have nieces and nephews who we are very involved with and I would like to hope that one day the world is going to be a better place for them. I may not be living to pass down a legacy for my own kids, but I do hope that one day I will have made their lives better.
Maybe less choice, but more options. I fell like we are really limited in our options due to not having kids. Families do family things and we often have to take a step back and given them space because we don't have kids. Whereas if we did, our kids would probably be involved together.
This was part of a conversation today I had with a colleague. Maybe because we grew up with a culture that had kids, we still value it. What about if your nieces and nephews don't have kids?
That's their decision or the universes. If they don't end up having kids, I hope they at least go on a nice trip with whatever my wife and I are able to leave them.
Yeah, I mean, what changes in culture when more people are raised without children in sight at much at all? You and your wife don't have kids, but you have been surrounded by kids all of your life. I think that if we weren't, it would have an impact on how we perceive them and, potentially, how we think about the future. If "children are our future" and we don't have many, what then?
Then we better start figuring something else out I guess. :)
It depends on each individual. Some people without kids care about the future because they know that they will still have kids so they are being careful of every step or action that they take with their lives
But, what about the many people who know they won't?
Some who know they won’t usually live recklessly and they don’t care about what happens
Some deliberately don’t want to have kids aside from the fact that there are other people who are battling with health conditions
Some who don’t want to have kids do not know that the sweetest feeling in life is being a parent
It takes a lot to have people who are looking up to you as a father, mother, teacher, role model and all…
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This is such an interesting post. I would say,having children is a good thing despite the fact that there are different family background like the rich,the poor and average.
But children will have a positive impact on our lives when they meet other children in school and this connection can help other parents .
Communication is also key .
The impacts of other children in our children’s life also matters.
Being a parent is a journey of emotional and spiritual growth, it is to take charge with a lot of commitment and responsibility, to guide like a beacon in times of lights, shadows and storms, the family, and according to my experience mother of three adults today, it has not been easy. There are many abandoned children in the world, living in conditions of great precariousness, poverty due to the tragic socio-economic irony worldwide.
You just keep going embracing your home with love and love is always "prefer" I assure you it is a wonderful life choice.
I think the population decline is mostly happening in first world countries. There are still a lot of third world countries where the population is still increasing; like the Philippines. I did notice that a lot of the younger people have not been too keen on having children, but those in the slums tend to multiply quickly.
As for the future, I don't want to have children because I am seeing a bleak future. I don't want my children to end up suffering. There are other reasons on why I don't want kids, but this is definitely one of them. On the other end of the spectrum, I can see how parents want a better future for their children. This makes them work hard, and do what they can.
You are rationalizing the reasons for not having children for you, which is great. However, that isn't what this post is about. I don't think many people should have children, because they just aren't cut out for it anymore, because like you say,
However, this is also a response to a degrading community through increased individualism. This might be better long term, or it might be worse - but it is having an effect (I believe) on how we are approaching the future.