Yesterday I was working from a café, today I am working from a stranger's bed.
I have been in many stranger's beds before - I rarely got paid for it.
Well, this one is an AirBnB bed, as we stayed here last night on short notice, and will be kicked out of here on Thursday. I have been sitting on the bed all day, with the laptop on a pulled out wardrobe drawer, and it isn't ideal. However, we all seemed to sleep better last night, probably because it feels more like a home, than a hotel room.
There are supposedly people coming to thaw the pipes this evening, and hopefully they will be able to do something so that we can get back in the house.
The disruption is "affecting" us.
Smallsteps is tired of the adventure and after living out of a suitcase without all of the excitement of a holiday, the novelty is wearing thin. She has been doing remarkably well for a seven year old though, and I can't really blame her for getting frustrated, as we are too. My wife probably has the hardest time, as she is also the one talking with all the various stakeholders to sort the mess out, as well as find time to work in less than ideal conditions. At least she got a chair to sit in today though, and a desk yesterday.
For me, the disruption is a bit different perhaps, as everything takes more thought energy than it should, so I find ways to lighten the cognitive load by structuring my processes so they are a bit more thoughtless. This includes my ways of working across different environments, and now all of them have been broken simultaneously, increasing the load tremendously. Perhaps it might be a bit like the traffic if all the bridges in New York are blocked, except one.
Too much, trying to fit into not enough room.
Mental management is important at the best of times, but it is vital for me now, as mismanagement has such an affect on my behavior. Even my supervisor has noticed the change in my body language, as I have become more "nervous" in some way, where my body just doesn't relax, it is always restless. This is a reflection of my mind of course, which feels very disconnected and out of place, like a boat moving through stormy seas, with a broken rudder.
Or a poor captain.
Probably the latter in my case.
It is weird to be in this position of a disrupted mind, because I have spent most of my life dealing with uncertainty and improving myself so this wouldn't happen. However, I couldn't have anticipated the stroke (at a young age at least), and no one knows exactly how a stroke is going to affect, so it is impossible to fully prepare for. All that we can do post-event, is what we can, which doesn't usually mean improvement, but rather, negative mitigation. It is an attempt to reduce the harm, not do more good.
It has been two and a half years since the stroke and I thought I was doing quite well overall, but the last few days have shown that I have a long way to go, and possibly, I will never be able to get there. While I can improve my processes to mitigate negative disruptive change and build an environment that facilitates whatever my best may be, there is no way to remove uncertainty altogether. This means that there is always a chance that all of my failsafe structures, fail.
And this is essentially where I am at the moment, where nearly all my mental failsafes have failed, except my ability to write about them. If I couldn't do this, I am not sure what my mind would anchor upon. Writing gives me a familiar mental rock to grip onto when the waves are swirling. It is a place to escape from the disruption, but not far enough to avoid it entirely and instead, step back and explore it.
Avoidance only postpones.
These disruptions are just part of every day life, so avoiding them is not the answer, as eventually the problems will rear their head again, often worse than they were the first time. Exploring the issues from a distance however, provides me with the mental space and perhaps a little bit of indirect rest, that gives some insight and clarity. When I walk back into the surf, I am a little stronger, a little more stable, a little more resilient. It is an imperfect approach, but if I could achieve perfection, I wouldn't be in this mess to begin with.
I might be working from a stranger's bed for a few days, but at least in the evenings, I can relax in a stranger's sauna too. I will go warm it up now.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
I saw my uncle for the first time in a long time the other day. He suffered a stroke a couple of years ago and I had heard he was doing better, but I was really surprised at how much of a deficit he was still dealing with. It's definitely a hard thing to try and keep all the plates spinning sometimes. Especially when you have people that you know depend on you. That adds some extra difficulty to the task! I hope the pipe thawing goes well!
It is hard to realize when "too close" to the person, as doing better can mean many things. My wife thinks I am doing better too, which I am, but it is relative to where I was after the stroke. People who haven't seen me much since before the stroke, they notice it.
Gotcha!
My houses still has chimneys, thus I can install a coal stove in such situations or use an electric stove.
We have too. Not in the basement though :)
Hello friend, blessings. For the future there is no other “foresight”, I have read in several of your writings the matter of the remodelling, well, taking the necessary measures to avoid future inconveniences with the pipeline is an IMPERIOUS NECESSITY.
There are hotels that offer you the services and comforts for the whole family; sure, they are a bit more expensive, but comfort has NO price, right?
Try to stay focused and balanced, as nervousness can come back to haunt you, and we do NOT want that. Don't get upset, enjoy the moment, even if it's a working one. Give yourself a few moments of rest with your family. Remember, life is one.
It absolutely does have a price! I only earn so much money, and it isn't enough for hotel living for long.
Not a lot of time to rest at the moment, but summer is only six months away :)
If you lived here in Ontario-Canada, I would invite you to the house, there is plenty of room, and it has enough room for a family of 4 "counting the pet", heh, heh, heh.
Fact! Sometimes it reminds me of old boarding school time of me. But sometimes it's ok
I was telling a colleague today it feels like I am in a dorm room :)
I’ve never been on an AirBnB bed though.
Did you mean you once had stroke???
This is our first AirBnB also. was pretty easy to organize.
Yes, I had a stroke a few years ago.
Ooh my God
Sorry about that
I’m glad you’re better now
Another thing is by writing you get the worst thoughts off your head. Which is not easy and also a lot of people keep those things in head which makes things worst. Like really get into trauma. Writing helps a lot especially blogs, or those tweets where you sum up what you think.
I agree completely! It is a healing process for mental trauma at least. Probably helps somewhat physically too
You got a place with a sauna!!! Of all the airbnb's I have stayed in, only one had a sauna. Nice!
I'm sorry you all have to go through this. I thought your heat was on - why, then, are the pipes still frozen?
I wish you deep and restful sleeps. I know those help me think clearly when I am under a lot of stress.
And I wish you a speedy resolution to all this.
This is Finland and in a new building, so all the apartments have saunas I presume. They are small, electric saunas, but it is better than nothing for sure!
The basement isn't heated (much), so when they were changing the machine, there was no water flowing for 6 hours and they froze. It was very cold, and they kept the garage door open a lot of the time too. After 5 days of very low heat, the temperature had already dipped below zero there, and then it plummeted.
They put some heaters in there now (they had to do it for insurance), so it is starting to melt the pipes. Then they will have to change the pipes that are cracked. A few days only I hope.
oy. Who is paying for your airbnb? Which I am happy to hear you are staying in btw.
Mental management is indeed crucial for the maintenance of emotional and mental wellbeing otherwise one will crack open under the intense load of pressure exerted on our minds daily. I do hope you were able to find some reprieve after the mental discomforts and that you completed your tasks effectively. My best wishes to you and your family, especially Smallsteps.
Thanks for sharing.
People do a lot of things for "self care", but many seem to ignore their brain.
Geez I hope you all get back in your home soon. I know how much of a disruption it is when you must vacate the house for mechanical reasons. It must be even more so with a small child. Hey, this is not the best way to start the new year, so maybe the rest of the year will go smoothly!
I feel for Smallsteps, as it has been a very disruptive start to the days back after holiday, and I know that she is feeling it. After a decent sleep last night though, she was in a better mood today. Not that her mood was bad, but she gets frustrated too.
Hope you get the heating system fixed and can feel the "home sweet home" soon.
At least you get the sauna while there, there's always some good out of bad situations :)
I have to go check the house a couple times a day - and at least this evening it was still warm inside. No water, but warm is a start :)
Promising start of the end!!!
For a while I have been practicing mindfulness, which is a fancy way to say "paying attention to my body and senses" and I realize the mind tends to be always working on something. So much that I am wondering if I am not somehow letting all that mental energy waste like a broken shower. Makes you wonder about if there's a better way to harness it, right? We realize all this and yet, that's the body and the mind we have right now, which comes with their own unique puzzles. I hope you find the answer to your puzzle.
Rubbish mate! I did wonder about the pipes :(
And what's this about 'rarely' getting paid? ;)
What is going on in the service pipelines over there, is this normal? o_O
Hope all the stuff gets seen to and at least dealt with enough that you can move back home soon.
I haven't been in an airbnb, but I have stayed in other people's houses, so I guess it's pretty much the same thing. Apart from having a kitchen, a regular house does feel homely compared to hotel. The random furniture, maybe even the smell, makes a difference. I do hope your house pipes and heating get fixed soon.
This sounds like a nightmare. We have quite a few bridges that serve subways, pedestrians, and bike riders in addition to cars. The city would devolve at lightning speed and Ubers would cost infinity dollars.
Now we're talking. Is it nicer than the one at home? I would love a few good sauna sessions. I've developed a cyst on my lower back that will need surgery to remove, and I wonder if I was able to steam a few times a week if it would have ever gotten this bad in the first place. Enjoy the AirBnB.