Your frustration may be a remnant from our upbringing as a generation. "Shut up. Work harder. You are solely a sum of your decisions. There are consequences for every action so own it and do better." Surely there is merit in there somewhere but it is the not giving up part as well as the fact that the only thing we can truly control is our attitude in the moment.
Adult results are a fallacy and, from what I have learned through a thick filter, you and the family are doing damn fine. You just need to identify as a young man and have fun while battling the randomness of the universe!