We have to start again. I hadn’t written anything in a while because my head was simply flooded with different thoughts and my heart was full of different emotions. Certain things happen when you least expect them. We have to come to terms with this because, unfortunately, that's just the way it is. Our lives meanwhile are reminiscent of an imaginary novel, but they usually end happily. A new chapter of my life has opened up again.
Somehow I wasn’t ready for a new chapter so I also pushed my health issues aside. I preferred to be burdened with the fact that we were both left without a job and how we would survive without a salary when you have to pay rent and loans. With all this stress plus the fact that I hadn’t seen my family and friends for 7 months, my condition started to get worse. When I had a job I kind of got distracted and tried to forget about all these world problems and how I miss my family.
Because of all this, Morbus Crohn became active again. I knew what that meant. I can land in the hospital again, which is really uncomfortable during this period, so I tried to stop the disease on my own with pills that helped at the last start of the disease. Unfortunately, this was not the case now. I know I said myself that we need to live for the future, but my emotions were stronger than my will to forget all the problems and start anew. I felt safe in this job because everyone knew about my problems and my husband was always somewhere nearby.
During this time, I really thought a lot about how to move forward. Either I stay in this profession, or start all over again and find a job that isn’t as stressful. I really love this job and would love to do this again but when you mention your health problems to an employer they never call back.
Luckily my husband got a new job and is very happy. But I would also like to contribute money to this marriage, I don’t want only him to be employed.
Even though my illness is active again I don’t have to stay home and be aimless.
After one month of pardoning myself, I decided that was enough. So many opportunities to start all over again and I feel sorry for myself. Where is the logic here.
I’m home now and I have the opportunity to arrange things I didn’t have time for before. We have been doing photography for quite some time but we did nothing with the finished products, they were stored on the computer and that was it. Now it was finally time to edit our profile on the website - Pond5. This is a page where you upload your pictures and clips and people can buy them. And so I started with that. Over the years, quite a bit of material has accumulated and after 1 month I still haven’t been able to upload all the pictures and shots. I hope we manage to sell at least a few shots, that we have some extra earnings, and that I don’t feel like I’m aimless.
https://www.pond5.com/ - MarjankoMedia
Life is so unpredictable. Ups and downs. Joy and sorrow. I still have a lot to learn and face challenges without my health deteriorating. So ... let's move on!
This year has been stressful for everyone, no one expected all of what is happening now and no one was ready for it. We all wonder when it will finally end.
I miss my family and friends and hope to be able to see them soon, even though the predictions are not positive. I am grateful for the technology to be able to see and talk to each other via video calls. So at least I feel they are close.
And yes, I have a dog that is always by my side and makes me happy. Of course my husband too. 🤗😍
So, I lost my head a while ago
But you seem to have done no better
We, we set fire in the snow
It ain't over, I'm not done
Some do magic
Some do harm
I'm holding on, holding on
I'm holding on to a straw
Who is the Alpha
And what is made of cloth
How do you say you're sorry and there's nothing
to be afraid of?
Is it dark already
How light is a light
Do you laugh while screaming
Is it cold outside?
One thing I know for certain
Oh I'm pretty sure
It ain't over
I'm not done - Fever Ray
With love, @tinabrezpike 💜