Some time ago, I started writing an article about my father's family, how religious they are, and what means that for us. Some stories are unbelievable, but this made me the person that I am today.
Part one:
(https://peakd.com/appreciator/@tinabrezpike/different-minds-different-people-but-the-same-world)
One of my father's sisters, also my godmother is a true believer. She had 2 children. Boy and girl. The girl is one year older than me and we played together all the time. We spend our vacation together because they had an apartment in Cres- that's an island in Croatia, and they took us with every year when we were kids. We also spend a lot of time with my grandmother, so many sleepovers and playing outside. It was cold in the house, the bathroom was still outside, and it was cold going on the toilet at night, but this was so exciting. No matter how old this house was, with all of my 9 cousins we spend our vacation there and I have so many nice memories of this time. This was a nice part of my childhood. But we grow up, and this part of our life was over. Of course every year we have a family gathering for every birthday or for every important stuff that we need to celebrate. We are still close to my cousins and this means a lot to me, but we don't spend the vacation together. My aunts are believers, but my cousins are not. Funny, we all grew up with the same principles. Yes, back to my original story. I mentioned earlier that my godmother has 2 children. Son is 4 years younger, so my brother was the perfect match for him to spend time together. But he rather played with me and his sister. They had so many dolls, castles, trains, cars, and Lego our best game? We dressed my cousin in his mother's clothes, gave him make-up and then we had a catwalk show. We did that all the time, but he never complained, he wanted that. When he grew older, he started pushing us away from him. He shut himself in. He no longer wanted to hang out with us, he preferred to lock himself in a room when we were visiting. I was visiting one day and I wanted to greet him so I entered the room. I found him with make-up on his face. He was 11 years old. Of course, I didn’t mention anything, but he talked to me at least a little bit. Everyone thought it was a growing up phase. Then one year, I wanted my family to meet my new boyfriend. We came to my aunt's birthday and I introduced him, but at the same moment that we walk in my cousin dispersed. I saw him hiding behind the door, we called him but he didn't come. It looked like he is scared of my boyfriend. After that, I didn't see him for about 2 years. He never came when we had a family gathering. He was hiding. It was odd but he is our cousin and we love him. He went to high school to make up artist. Somehow I knew this will happen because he did wonder with your face. He always put makeup on our face when we played our catwalks shows. So, I wasn't surprised. His family didn't talk a lot about him, only that he is fine and he enjoys school. One day I got together with my cousin over coffee and our conversation also touched on her brother. Of course, I wanted to know how it was. Then she finally told me a few things. He has been going to a psychologist for 2 years, but she didn't want to tell me why, and I didn't ask anything more. Somehow I concluded that he had finally admitted his sexual orientation and that his aunt was ashamed to admit it. In a religious family, this is not acknowledged but is hidden.
Then came the information. After 6 years of psychologists and psychiatrists, various forced therapies have finally admitted that he wants to change his gender. Therapies lasted so long because it is usually just one phase and they thought it would be different over time. It’s one big step and I can't imagine what he had to endure all these years and hide such an important part of his life and try to push that part away. Of course, these are very expensive things, and changing gender is not just so by the way. I didn’t know that in case this isn’t just a phase but the person is trapped in the wrong body they need to go through all these therapies. And this is a very difficult thing mentally. How can I live as a man if my body and brain do not accept this?
So after all these therapies, the health insurance company said that the costs of operations would be covered by them. Of course, this will not happen immediately and it will be necessary to wait a few years with surgery but the first changes have begun. He was officially able to change his gender to female, so he was now female, even though the surgery was not performed. He was a woman on official documents and was able to change his name. From now on, it was Emma. None of us were particularly surprised, as everything indicated that he was gay. Of course, no one expected such a change but why not, it is your life and it is our family and we want us all to be happy and to feel accepted in our family. When she found out that the whole family supported her, she became a different person. The meeting that followed was a real revelation. It was a different person, and not just because of the look - enlarged breasts, long hair, nails, and perfect makeup changed her, but the biggest change? There was happiness on Emma's face, she was shinning and I had never seen her so confident. The perfect woman. I think we hugged for about 10 minutes because she finally reunited with the family. She was talking and talking and talking about her life and what is going on. Amazing what positivity and happiness came from her. * (from now on she is a woman and I will refer to her with She)
But something else was going on. Her mom didn’t want to accept that. It was a sin and God does not accept it. Her words? God will save this. I don’t know how, because God doesn’t pay for things like that but yeah. According to her, this is a shame and she didn't want anyone to know what was going on, but they live in a small town so it is almost impossible to hide such things. We finally persuaded her that it might still be wise for her to talk to a psychologist and find help on how to accept this because no matter what, it’s your child and you love him. After a while, I found that she had moved a little away from the church and was looking for help elsewhere. Chakras, energy, crystals, I found it interesting to talk to her about these things because I would never have thought she would ever change her mind. I'm proud of her. In the conversations we have, she always mentions her two daughters and accepts her as a woman. Love and warmth are more important than what is hiding under your body. However, there was a member of the family who unfortunately did not accept this. My grandmother. No matter how we tried to explain it to her, she didn’t budge. This is her grandson and she will always see him as a boy. She called him by his birth name and always talked about him as a boy. She said her prayers would be answered. We didn't try to convince her anymore, we just understood that she couldn't accept it. She said it was hard at first because of people who don’t accept it but she finally felt happy and she wasn’t interested in it, she was grateful to us for accepting it and it meant more to her than the opinion of a thousand people. Of course, I was wondering what about dating. You meet a lot of similar people online and I would never say what is going on behind closed doors, but maybe there you will find a person who is similar to you and accepts it. She moved to Slovakia 4 years ago. She met a boyfriend online and after a year of online dating and visiting another country, she decided to try her luck and moved. There she enrolled in cosmetology school and continued schooling. Of course, we were all waiting for her to finally introduce us to his boyfriend. I met him at my wedding. All I can say is - wow. Beautiful, kind, knowledgeable, smart, and, above all, a lawyer, and it was obvious that he loves Emma immensely. Since we, unfortunately, don’t speak the same language we spoke English, but luckily all my cousins speak English so it wasn’t a problem. She found a great boyfriend. Now they come to almost all family events if time allows. I can’t describe to you what a change in her personality, now she is always loud, confident, and simply put happy. Of all the cousins I have, she is currently the one who looks the most beautiful. Perfect body and makeup do their thing. All the girls in our family agreed. Certain friends of mine know she changed her gender but I never showed a picture. At my wedding, a friend asked me if I could show her which one she was. I didn't want to, if she wants to know, you need to tell me which one. The result? She pointed at everyone else but not at her 😂😂then I introduced her to Emma, whom I mentioned earlier that my friend wanted to meet her and all she could say was - you look amazing and I want to have breasts like you 😂😂 And Emma's answer? If I already enlarge my breasts then I enlarge them as much as possible. Only my closest friends know this part about my family, and Emma knows I told them. She accepted that she was like that and that it had to be that way so that she could become what she is. She will talk openly about it if you ask her. From my side, It’s amazing that this is so normal for our family and that they accepted it, given all the Christian teachings and in what faith we were raised. Family comes first and family ties mean more. How can you believe in something that doesn’t accept you as the person you are. Somehow all the older members of the family finally realized that maybe God is not always right. In summary. Life is unpredictable and complicated, but if you accept obstacles and skip them, you can make a life that is as good as you want it to be. My family is amazing and I have learned a lot. Looking back, one would already think that I am making it all up, but no. My life is interesting and that made me a taxi like I am. There is never peace, there is always something going on, but it has to be so because it is a life experience and we are building on it.
I was dealing with decision if is alright to write about this and share this with people, and you know, I'm not a person to share my story's with the rest of the world, but I found community where are my story's accepted and people read that. I'm writing those story's just for Hive. I feel confident here and I know that everything I write will stay here. Community with heart. Thank u guys so much for reading ❤
(Oh and Emma is not her real name, I change it)
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”— Thich Nhat Hanh
With love,@tinabrezpike ❤
What an interesting and heart felt story Tina! Its always good and nourishing to read your posts. It is such a triumph that "Emma" found true happiness and love of a caring partner. Religion has some good basis always but love, kindness, empathy and encouragement are most important in any family.
Have a wonderful day my friend ( your photos are so lovely as always I have to add xx )
Thank u @sallybeth23 ❤ nice to hear from u ❤ I hope you're alright 🤗 love and kisses from Austria❤
I am well thanks - I hope you are good too xx
Emma is lucky to have family like yours. Many people struggle with acceptance and hide all their lives. I can even imagine how hard it has to be for them to be someone they are not. Someone they are expected to be.
Wonderful story! It was a pleasure to read.
Thank u @ewkaw for your kind words ❤ It was not easy for her, but she did it, and I'm so proud of her. There is always a way, you just need to be strong and hope for the best 💪it doesn't matter what other are saying, it's your life and your happiness and she understands that now.
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