I put off going to therapy for a very long time. I just didn’t ‘feel’ like it. Yesterday I had the realization that me being the way I have been for so long, is due to all the trauma I have experienced and was a direct response to all of that.
I wasn’t a normal human being.
I couldn’t work five days a week.
Doing too many things in a week overwhelmed me.
Being hyper sensitive to situations and people.
It just felt like I didn’t function properly in society.
Like there was something wrong with me.
But that’s not the case.
I have been processing a lot of stuff for the past decade whilst the stuff kept piling on and I was drowning in it.
No wonder I didn’t feel like I can be a normal person.
Because my mind and system was constantly in overdrive but I didn’t see it.
And now that I have had six months of therapy, I see it.
I am in the deep process of accepting all that has happened and returning back to myself, albeit it is slowly.
It’s funny because the same way the depression crept into my life, the ‘me’ is seeping in slowly too.
Like I’ve noticed I want to dress better and wear nice clothes every day.
Picture taken by one of fave people on the planet last week while we were getting coffee. This is my fave dress!
The old me was quite content wearing the same clothes over and over again.
Or like how I started painting my nails again.
Just tiny acts of self love that are showing me I am on the road to recovering myself.
And it feels good.
I am in no way ‘there’ yet but I am doing so much better than I thought was possible in such a short time.
Therapy can do wonders!
Over and out,
Ashley
Ps. Question Of The Week will be coming out tomorrow because I am off to see my bestie right now!
Before you take any pills for that, read this book.
If this isn't possible for you, some states are allowing microdosing mushrooms for depression, I'd try that before I let what passes as medicine in the west profit from my pain.
It's not in the best interests of those that doctor for profits to cure you.
There has been absolutely no talk of using medication at all so no worries :)
It'll honestly be the last option I would consider!
You've sent me a few books by L. Ron Hubbard. Do you follow the religion?
I follow the technology.
The religion is more about him not wanting to pay tax.
He hated the tax man.
Had to live on a ship for a decade because he had warrants.
His tech seems sound, the church is out of control.
Oh I didn't know. I have watched a documentary about Scientology and how secretive it all was.
I'll have to check it out!
I was prescribed ketorolac for back pain and insulin for my blood sugar. Cutting out sugary drinks and adding avocado to my diet saved me thousands/month. Ketorolac? Yoga and improved flexibility negated the need for that drug. Doctors never prescribed those alternate medicinals.
Good for you, that was a high percentage shot where I am.
I still recommend the book, can't ever know enough.
That has been suppressed really hard for decades.
Not that it will solve your problems for you, you still have to do that.
It gave me structure that I could work with, rather than structure that owned me.
It's some pretty interesting reading. I got to the part where it talks about how a child who had a broken bone (elbow) could experience some sort of rheumatic pain in their thirties.
He says it works like a post-hypnotic suggestion in many ways.
I think my dad's arthritis was a sign of his engrams, but he died before I could test the theory and try to reduce his locks.
That fella put out one heck of a lot material.
That link goes down periodically because the church's lawyers are fighting with them, this is an alternative.
It's new to me from the last time stss.nl was down, so I haven't followed it long.
The experiences I've had at the one org I went to contained out-tech.
I haven't met anybody else in person that has given the subject much time.
The only reasons I've found that it hasn't taken the world by storm is the effort involved in learning to apply it and the propaganda against it.
I've been looking for something to contradict in it since 1991, and thought I had him at 'support a good government', but he did say good.
I know I'm happier having read the books.
His gradient scale approach is genius.
No black and white, only what is true for you.
These "locks" seem nothing more than pent up frustration, you know? Almost like just talking about something brings you to the root cause that can be dealt with direction.
His description of it is that these memories hold an electrical charge, that charge gets re-stimulated by something familiar in the environment, and causes pain in the present time.
You may want to read the books in order, it is the recommended way.
If you are only going to read one, I have given it to you.
If you really want to study the technology, start at the beginning, and go in order.
I read Dianetics because I had been steered away from it, so I started at the beginning.
It is a technical manual where SOS is more a user's manual.
It was a difficult read for me, but I persevered and have read it several times since.
I hope it benefits you as it has me.
I am happy for you
Soon you will be glowing so much that everyone will be asking questions
That is because there is a level that self-love takes us to, that cannot be explained in words, but can only be felt
Well done creeping out of your depression
Nice dress, it's your posture for me, I love it 😍
Have fun with your bestie, dear
Yes, people are noticing it already :)
Bit by bit, I am getting there!
Thank you!!
thanks and we will be waiting for the question of the week.
you need to learn how to manage stress as well, and relax well.
Did you see it?? And did you answer? :)
Like take a nap when necessary
Could have lowered your face down a little, I want to be infected with that smile. Hehe.
Hahahahaha
Next time ;)
This is great, nice seeing you're getting back to your old self. I'm so so happy for you and seeing you smile makes a great change.
Having a therapy is really great as it gives you the opportunity to know more things happening around you which you're not aware off.
Having yourself stressed out and over laboured with work and different thought is so exhausting most time.
Sometimes try and give your self off from work, go on a vacation and have the best treatment you can get. It helps you let go of something and focus on the moment only.
I took a few days off and relaxed a lot and now I am feeling so much better!! :)
That is really great, do try some of that regularly and have fun toom
Why are you walking like that, you will fall.
Lol. You must be a funny person,i think she really need to explain why she is walking like that..
Does it really look like I am walking??
Somthing something.