Hey, I'm glad you're back! Are you here to stay? I need more mountain goat pictures in my life.
How is Yolo? Is he..?
On a more serious note (not that the other portion of this comment isn't dead.fucking.serious), I'm really seriously glad to hear that you are making serious efforts to take serious care of yourself. It's fucking hard work, but it does pay off. Not instantly, or eternally, it's always work, but... you know. Just don't relapse back into the church. Unless that's something you find you need in which case who am I to judge.
I need to figure out what kind of medication I should be taking to get this thing in my head to just shut the fuck up.
Or, um, maybe it needs to be heard. Faced head-on. Not avoided. Just, you know, speaking from my own experience.
I think I'm back to stay. I'm working on another piece to publish either tonight or tomorrow night, so we shall see?
Maybe. It's complicated though.
I promise I will never relapse back into the church. I don't have any mountain goats to share but here's a recent photo of a sheep:
What a lovely sheep! What a place to live.
Complicated, yes. I can relate to that. Did I ever tell you I went to adult behavioral outpatient suicide camp? I remember there was this one chick who was bragging about her suicide attempts and it made me feel like I wasn't good enough to be there because I was only there because of ideation. Depression is a weird beast.
I'll keep an eyeball out for your post.
It's one thing to speak frankly about suicide attempts, but bragging about them strikes me as theatrical. I don't know why anyone would brag about an attempt unless they wanted attention, which is very different from wanting to die. Who knows, though. It's hard to fairly judge what's going on inside someone who's depressed.
I think attention-seeking is a way of being seen and heard that can gratify the part of the person that wants to live. Even some suicide attempts are attention-seeking; if it works, you get away from it all, and if it doesn't, you get attention. Not sure if that was supposed to be a semicolon or a colon there.
It was an intense experience being in that program, to say the least. I saw all kinds of ways Major Depressive Disorder could present itself in humans. In some ways it helped me see how functional and strong I was, in spite of my internal (and external) turmoil.
I second that. Even in my darkest, most dangerous days, I still had people saying you get depressed??!! Which of course led me to second guess my experience...
Fair point re: attention-seeking. I think the will to live is still in there somewhere no matter how dark and close to pulling the trigger things get. It's all so extremely complex.
I believe both are grammatically correct. The differences come down to emphasis and nuance. I think. I will now be spending the rest of the night reading about the historical development and current accepted usage of punctuation marks in the English language.
Sounds like a fun time. Let me know if you find the truth. If you discover anything good we can start our own religion based around semicolons and daylight savings time.