Recently, I have been so pissed and angry because my parents were trying to restrict my movement. I was about to write a different post until I had a second discussion with my dad about why and what I wanted to do.
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I was planning on returning to my place at Abeokuta where I stay at school; I pay the rent with my own money, so it's my place. That is because I need space and a little privacy to myself, also because I want to register for PVC at my school since they promised to make a very easy registration and lastly, take some clothes from my place because the last time I came to Lagos, I only came with 3 shirts and one trouser and only planned on staying for only 3-4 days but ended up staying for almost 2 months.
I initially told my mum what I wanted and I didn't mention the reason that I needed some clothes, and she said I can go but to inform my dad. I told my dad the same thing and he was like why should I have to go to Abeokuta, and not register for PVC (permanent voter's card) in Lagos. He ended up saying I should not go.
In my mind, as he was talking I was like, does he think I was asking for his permission to leave or asking him to give me money for transportation? When he finished speaking, everything he said simply slipped through my first ear and out the other. I said in my mind, I have made up my mind that even if he says No, it doesn't change my decision.
At this point in my life, the only thing my parents can do for me is offer me advice and let me make my own decisions and accept responsibility for the results.
I had to calm down and told my brother about what I had in mind because I know taking decisions when one is angry is quite risky. My elder brother is the closest to me in the family and I tell him everything about my life, and I know you can only get the best advice from a blood.
He told me that I should tell them fully want I wanted to do with the other reasons then make what decision I have in mind if my dad still insisted. I then took his advice and I told my dad all the reasons why, and he said I can go but take care of myself and properties.
I was about to write a rant post because I was pissed and needed some space. I was even just planning on leaving for just 4 days. Right now, I am thinking about what would happen next because I am planning on leaving Lagos back to Abeokuta in the first week of August. I hope they would not start being overprotective.
WHO IS STARSTRINGS01
Starstrings01 AKA Giftedhands is a Hive lover, a Nigeria musician (Guitarist), and also a student who studies Mechatronics Engineering at the Federal University of Agriculture, Abeokuta.
His goal on Hive is to be more than a regular blogger but something more; someone with a purpose. Thatβs one of the reasons why he founded the newbies initiative @newbies-hive to help guide and support newbies. Kindly click here to follow the @newbies-hive curation trail.
He battles and struggles with balancing education and being active on the chain but yet his love and passion for Hive keep him on balance.
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Bro, you made a very good choice by hesitating with your words and retracting to seek your brotherβs opinion and advice. You probably still could have had your way, regardless of your fatherβs choice. But it may just leave a crack in your relationship with him.
There is no parent that will feel okay with their children making decisions with disregard to their opinion/advice because their children can fend for themselves. I do not mean to say you always have to do their bidding, as theirs may contradict yours sometimes. I mean to say that whatever they say just has to be put into consideration. If what they say contradicts yours, and yours has a compelling reason, you must simply find a way to handle the situation. In your case, you explained further, and it made them understand better.
My mother too. She can just decline, but I always reason with her. When a parent does not understand the decisions of their children, they tend to want to disregard them, all for the main reason of protecting their flesh and blood.
Itβs good to know youβll be back soon. We don miss you.
Alls well that ends well. I forgive my parents for sometimes fucking it up for me. They only wanted to protect me and did what they could do in their time. And ultimately I did what I had to do whether they liked it or not. Glad that your dad finally understood what you wanted.
They will be overprotective. Most parents are! But you gotta make them trust your judgment and believe in you. All the very best! It's a hard one.
Brother! Lol, yea I know I would grow to be overprotective about my children at some points so I forgive my parents too!
I think I have gotten my mum to believe in me in some way, I am not sure about my dad though. Because he is always the least overprotective. Was just surprised why he was like that recently.
Probably getting insecure about you doing your things on your own terms? Use your mum to your advantage and ask her if she can put some sense into him. Whatever works for you xD
That's normal of our parent expecially during these delicate times. They might want to let you have your space to do what you'd wanted to do but since this moment in Nigeria is a very risky one due to the level of insecurities att the moment, no parent will want to grant his/her child access to go as far as that journey.
Getting to tell them the reason for your movement was the the best thing you did and it finally worked out as you'd envisaged. Cheers brother @starstrings01
Yah! I understand them actually. They really got scared the last time I was sick and now overprotective because of it. I have gotten them to trust my decisions, now I am in school.
Hope you'll be around for granny's burial bro.
sure I would
Well, parents are always protective of their children, especially at this time when the country is not very safe. But we are adults and we know what's good for us. They should also give us the liberty to make a choice at times
Yeah, we are adults and we really do... I know I would be like them when I have my kids too. I would be over protective to my children too
He was just been protective due to the country situation now, my mom still act this way and I find it sweet. I don't know if the feeling will the same if my father act this way but that will be another life....
Another life? I don't get
Never knew what it was like to have a father figure at home. In one word my mom was also my dad
Sorry about that! It's great you have your mum to support you.
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Wow ..bro ..Will be expecting you π
Smiles. You be gee oh! You are still in school. How you dey survive. Na SAPA Carry me run commot oh.
π π π ..we still dey here o ....Na God dey provide o ...accord light is almost fixed self
I am happy you sought your brother's advice and it worked well for you, Dad didn't know your reasons so he outrightly said no, I am glad you didn't take the step because it would look like you are been disobedient to me.
Now, you have the freedom to go. He is just been protective and you could have done the same to your kids. I really don't what fatherly love feels like so enjoy it bro, they love you.
π
Sorry to hear this brother!
Truth is, I always have my freedom to be where I used to be and was surprised when he was telling me No.. I wasnβt even telling him because I needed his permission.
Was just surprised that he said NO OH.
Thank God I called my brother, if not I would still go.
Parents are always overprotective of their children, especially the one they love most and also the one they don't get to see too often.
I'm so glad you listened to your brother's advice and it's also a good thing that your dad later understood the reason you had to leave for Abeokuta.
About leaving by August, I will advise you start telling them before then that you will be leaving, so they can prepare their minds.
Overall, I'm so glad you didn't loose it π.
Lol. I love the ending statement of me loosing it. π π
Why are Dads so difficult to convince and why's it so hard for them to accept their child's decision?! π©π
As in ehn, it's really annoying sometimes sha π.
I am telling your dad tomorrow morning.
πππ, I'm not scared πππ.
Hehe... I like you
I will add spice to it then
π Abeg o, it's not my handwriting π.
I have told already sef. He said I am a good boy.
Awwn, you are indeed a good boy, well done π.
Yes oo but I guess sometimes they only want the best for us.
Yes, that's why we just have to keep our cool most times π.
Smiles funny thing is that my dad is never like this. I always have problem with my mum because she is the one that is way over protective but now, she's becoming more understanding!
She are now more of friends!
Wow, I guess our Moms are quite the opposite, my mom is way more understanding and easy to reason with but you see my Dad, Ah! He's too overprotective π .
Now, mum is understanding oh but she was tough when I was younger. I appreciate her for it because it is what made the man I am today.
Now, I can easily chat with her about anything and she would understand, reason with me and put it in prayers..
I so much love that woman.
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Thank you!
Sometimes it's really hard to open up to our parents but it's good that you did it. Good luck on you for being independent.
Smiles! Thanks brother, I appreciate the comment.
Smiles...I see father's love here even when we see it as over protective . You are an adult and can take care of yourself but then , the love he has for you is his driving force over his actions .
You sef can vex oo π€©π€©, but thank God gud the wisdom you applied by confining with your brother and the smart advise he gave..lol
It worked ! If not you would have gone like that oππ , and it may result to little issue between you and Dad!
I can't begin all my frustrations with this particular topic π. I mean, I don't spend my holidays at home but this time I've been home for 5 great months! And my dad wouldn't allow too when I was ready to move.
But one thing I learnt all time at home is: in a way, parents feel insecure when you're growing and making your own decisions and you being on a defensive will only make it worse, I couldn't even have a proper conversation with them. Trying to actually understand them and listening to them (even when the reasons are "rolls eyes"), actually makes them listen to you in turn. I mean, my life is a lot easier now π. So you did the right thing π₯³.
Give them the attention and understanding they want and they start to see the sense in your decisions.
Wow, you spoke so well dear, is like you are parent-child counselor π.
I might as well consider a career in it π. Thanks dear β€
That will be nice but please it should not be only that one sha, you know the state of our country π.
You're welcome dear π.
ππππ€£ e be things
As in ehn π€©.
Thank you!
You're welcome Sir.
African parents in particular have a problem with allowing their adult children be adults. In their eyes, weβre still the same kids they brought up and until you do something to show them otherwise, youβre going to keep getting childish treatment and control from them. Iβm glad you made your move. Iβm facing similar issues in my house and I still havenβt had the balls to stand up and speak up for myself.
smiles... I understand I used to be like that and why I have some balls now is because I pay my bills, and some bills in the house so I have respect already from it. That is why I can make decisions on my own and they respect it. Soon you would soon brother.
I hope so. Iβll be graduating University in 2 months and I canβt afford to still be given the take it or leave it treatment at home. Iβm just praying I get a job or at least something that can help me pay my own bills like you. Maybe thatβll do it for me too. I think landing on Hive is a step in the right direction give or take a few months of pure unnoticed hard work and consistency lol.
you are about being done from the university.. which course?
Bsc Biochemistry. Itβs not as fancy or important as you might think.
Also if you donβt mind me asking, what brought you back here? Itβs been a couple days and even I almost forgot I made this comment. So I was a little surprised when I tapped on the notification and it brought me here.
Smiles... https://engage.hivechain.app/inbox
That site above let you see comments you forget to you reply or you ended up not seeing due to too many notifications. I have been busy and not been able to blog for 3 days, so I have been checking around.
Another resource discovered. New level unlocked! Thank you for this! You just demonstrated how serious you take engagement and that inspires me.
I hope you get to deal with whatever is keeping you busy and get back to blogging. Iβm sure a lot of people miss your presence. Have a great rest of your night:)
Sincerely speaking, making decisions when one is angry has never turn out good.
It was good you listened to big bro.
Yeah, it was.. thanks for your comment.