Problems and challenges are one of the most common things we'll certainly come across as humans throughout the days of our lives. There's even a particular saying that it's only a dead man that has no problem, and that's to show you how problems have been so woven into us to the point where it's seen as normal. I wish I'd got none, but like I said, it's not something we can run away from, and lately I'm going through a particular one that's affecting my mental health, so today I'll love to tell you all about it.
As an introvert, I love to keep to myself and don't really fancy having many friends, so I've got just a handful of friends, but lately something happened between myself and about six friends of mine, and even though each doesn't know the same issues we're having are connected to my other friends, it's quite disheartening that I had to go through such a level of insult, ridicule, and more from the set of people who ought to be my friends.
Fine I understand that as friends, we should be on the lookout for one another and be able to help one another during our tough times. I, for one, have tried to at least at one point or another be there for my friends so they can overcome their own challenges, and just about a week ago, six of my friends came to me separately requesting that I give them a particular item of mine, and with the fact that they are requesting the same thing from me, I kind of ran short of decisions on what to do or who to give.
I mean, I would have loved to help each one of them if I'd had the capacity, but all I've got is just one piece of that item, and now six of them are requesting the same thing in the space of 30 minutes. Some requested via phone call, others texted, and all I can say is, "Give me time to think about it, and ok, I'll get back to you because I'm in the middle of something important."
I've never been in such a situation before. I mean, if it weren't that not all of them knew one another, I would have said they'd all had a meeting to just ask for the same thing, but the fact that not all knew one another, I can't help but just understand that it's the situation of the country and how things have been difficult lately.
I don't know what to do, so rather than give either of them, because I know there's no way those who know each other won't see the item they were requesting from me on the person I gave and be like, so he's more important to you than I'm or so she's more important to you than I'm. With all of those thoughts running through my mind, the only conclusion that came to my mind was to just host a giveaway on my social media status, and whoever gets it among those who asked or my other friends who saw my status would be the person that gets the item.
And so I hosted the giveaway, and before you know it, all six of my friends who requested those items at the same time started sending me annoying and insultive messages, telling me that if I knew I couldn't give them what they asked for, I should have told them directly. I was dumbfounded and at a crossroads about what to say. In the end, I had to explain to each one that I'm sorry, but it happened that some of my other friends also asked for the same thing from me, and in my bid not to annoy anyone, that's why I did the giveaway to give the item to the lucky person.
Despite all my apologies and explanations, five of these friends weren't having it, and it kept sending annoying messages. It's painful that only one of them understands my plight and lets it slide, while the others keep telling me how wicked and selfish I was all because I gave someone else what belongs to me. With all of those insults flooding into my DM from different people, I lose my cool and have to react angrily.
I mean, I've apologized and also explained my situation to you, and now you're trying to put me on the edge, making me understand that no matter who's asking me for something, in as much as they also asked, I should be giving them first. That's just ridiculous and a sense of entitlement, especially when I already explained my situation, and given the fact that I've been sick and diagnosed with high blood pressure, I began to have some fast-pounding sensations in my heart.
So I just switch off my phone and end the conversation there. This happened last week, and since then most of these guys have refused to talk to me or relate to me the way we used to, but then I care less. I mean, I won't hurt myself because I want to please someone, and neither would I allow anyone to make me start ranking my friends so I'll know who to help and who not to help.
As of that moment, when all of those insults were pouring in, believe me, I wish I'd had no friends, because some of these same people know about my health challenges, yet they're the ones doing everything within their power to make them worse.
Well, that's about it. I probably should have just held on to that item they all requested rather than giving it out via giveaway, but the deed is already done. What do you think I should have done in that situation, and what do you think is the way forward presently? Because although I'm fine with them not talking to me, if that would stabilize my mental health, let me hear your opinion and what you would have done in such a situation.
That's about it for now. Thanks for your time, and do have a wonderful day ahead.
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STOPWow that's amazing, thanks so much.
You're a true inspiration @vickoly! Your daily posts on Hive are making a big impact. Keep up the great work!
Wow that's amazing, thanks so much.
You're making waves @vickoly! Your daily posts are making a big impact on Hive.
Hehehe, wahala pro max
The truth is that you cannot please human beings no matter how you try. Also you don't need to overstretch yourself because you want to keep friends. If I were you, any of those friends that decides not to relate with you again because of a decision you feel should be best, bid that person a fare well...
As much as keeping friends is good because tomorrow, sometimes there are situations you can't just control and you let it slide...
The good friends are not yet born..
This is my thought and I hope you find it valuable
Hello grandpa vickoly😌😌😌
Yea we definitely can't please everyone and going through extra miles for friends seems not to be appropriated anymore, well like you said, those who value our friendship will find their way back.
My health and mental wellbeing is priority.
Seems they had a meeting to destabilize you. Imagine the effontry they had because your could not satisfy each of them. Friends should be understanding at least especially as the item belonged to you. Your health and sanity is most important. You cannot please the world even when you sacrifice yourself on a plate.
Personally, time will heal wounds and those that value your friendship would find their ways back into your life, worry less bro
Thanks so much brotherly, you've spoken well and I'll just let it died with time.
Truly whoever value our friendship will find their way back.
I would say that hosting a giveaway was the perfect solution to handle that all, I can't think of any other best solution. But still they acted rude then you must get rid of those persons who never understood your condition.
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Thanks so much for that, I possibly did the right thing by hosting that giveaway afterall.
Those people should not be called friends. I feel they do not understand you or know the exact kind of person that you are. It makes no sense when my friends don’t even know my nature. What’s now the essence of the friendship?
I kind of wonder what they essence of such relationship is truly, as friends we should at least know what we can and can't do.
The real friends are not yet on your list👌
Try to let it slide and watch your health for now
Thanks so much, I think you're right, I'll just stick with what you said.
Sad to hear that happened to you.
In my opinion true friends understand if you have to say NO to something. While it may backfire on me sometimes I follow the rule "If I say YES I mean it. If I say NO I mean it. If I say I cannot do something I mean it." If a friend can't accept me being honest then in my eyes they aren't a very good friend.
Of course, as much as possible I do try to help those around me, but there is only so much of me to go around and I can't please anyone.
Good luck in the future endeavors. Sometimes just better to ignore the phone if you ask me.
Thanks so much for your candid advice and sharing your two cent, I really find it valuable and would take it into account going forward.
I guess it's high time I'm firm with my response, as much as I was to help, I should understand that I can't always please everyone.
Thanks once again.