How can I feel safe with myself? Security is a fundamental need of the human being and the feeling of security is sometimes difficult to reach, especially when we live complicated things personally or collectively. How to feel safe? I answer you in this article.
Image edited on canva and fotor
Hello and welcome to this article. My name is Redouane, I am a coach in consciousness awakening and I accompany you to create a serene life.
What is inner security? Well, actually, it's a feeling, it's a feeling of real peace and alignment. So what prevents us from feeling secure inside? The first thing is our thoughts. We are wired, our brain is wired to stay alive and so part of our brain is really on the lookout for danger and adversity. It's really in hyper vigilance and we can come to be completely enslaved to our thoughts, meaning that even when everything is going well, our brain can anticipate danger and project us into disaster scenarios, projections that completely cut us off from the inner security that we could connect today, since everything is going well.
The second thing that prevents us from being able to feel this sense of security is the conditions we put on our security. We often think that in order to feel at peace, everything has to be right outside of us. The more conditions I put on my inner security, the harder it is to achieve. And I have a question for you on this point: what has to happen for you to feel secure inside? What are the conditions that need to be validated for you to really feel safe ?
Let me give you an example of my own. A few years ago, in order for me to feel secure, I had to do well financially, but I never had enough money in my bank account. I always felt this fear of lack, I was afraid of lacking later, even if I wasn't lacking at the time. My children had to be okay, none of them had to be sick. I really needed my family, in the broadest sense, to be okay. And then, as soon as there was a conflict in the world, it destabilized me, it really scared me. So in fact, there were many conditions for me to feel safe, so many conditions that I never felt safe. Which makes sense: the more conditions there are to my inner security and the more those conditions are external conditions, the harder it is for me to connect to that feeling of peace and security. If my inner security is based on the outside, it is difficult to achieve.
I meet people who tell me that it's not possible, there's always something that prevents me from feeling safe! And yes, because that's what life is all about, there's always something going on. And at the same time, it's not because something is always happening that it prevents me from connecting this inner security. And we're going to talk about it now, how can we feel secure inside, including in the world in which we live ?
So before I answer, I want to make two other important points. And that the feeling of inner security is a permanent feeling. I wish it on you, I wish it on myself, but in reality not necessarily. We are not all enlightened beings. So the idea is to cultivate this feeling of security and to know how to return to it when you leave it. It's normal to leave it at times. Then, second point: reading this article will not be enough. Inner security is something we have to teach our body, in fact. So it's not something that can be decreed in our head. Just because I tell myself "I'm going to be safe" doesn't mean my body has learned it. The key is repetition. So, I'm going to give you some keys to apply, but it's not going to be enough just once. It's not enough to go to the gym once and come out with spectacular ab tablets. It's the same thing for inner security.
So now let's get to the heart of the matter. If I want to be at peace with myself, I have to be able to calm myself down. How can we do that? The first point is to learn to control our thoughts. As Einstein said, we have become slaves to our thoughts when we are supposed to be the masters and our brain is supposed to be the servant. It is often the opposite that happens. So, regaining control of our thoughts is an important point. I can give you a first step to take. It is to write down your thoughts. Take a paper and a pencil when you feel that your mind is going crazy, when it is going into catastrophic scenarios, and write down everything you feel absolutely everything, without sorting it out .... This will already be an important first step.
Second important point: come back to the present moment. Our inner insecurity, most of the time, it is related to the future or the past. In the past, because I have experienced difficult things, so I directly or by proxy in the history of aligning myself and as it was difficult, I do not want to relive them, so I project them into the future. And then my insecurity can also be in the future, because I anticipate possible dangers. Our brain is wired for that. So a key to our inner security is to be able to really come and connect to the present moment.
Now, I'm not going to go into detail in this article. Soon I'll do a really specific article that helps you connect to the present moment if you want to go further. But in terms of a first step for this article, just observe your thoughts whenever you see that you're caught in the wiper blade between the past and the future, and it puts you in an insecure posture. Come back to the here and now.
The third and last key, and this also helps you to come back to the present moment, is to come back to the body. Inner security, as the name suggests, is inside, and I can reconnect to it by stopping looking outside and focusing on my body. It is my body that I need to learn what it is to feel safe, and focusing on the body can be focusing on the breath, focusing on a space in my body and really bringing all of our awareness, all of our attention to that space or to that breath. That's an extremely important point, so it's not about sitting in lotus for two hours. I'm a fan of things that are short and efficient because it fits more easily into our lives, but feel free, as you go through your day, to have little moments where you're just going to focus on your body to connect to that safe space, to teach it how to do that. As I said, it's the repetition that's really going to bring you a lot of value if you want to go further.
Thank you in advance for upvoting, commenting, sharing this article. It's very important for me, for my work, and for the people who don't know me yet and who need these messages. Thank you in advance for your contribution. See you soon !
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