RE: "The Roast of All of Us" — Presenting Our Research and Findings from 37 Years of Studies in Slow-Onset Chronic Terminal Madness — Sponsored by the University of Hivelandia and the Comedy Open Mic Contest

[corvidae]

!BEER

Oh. Well. Guess I'm broke, too.

!HANDSANITZER

So broke I've resorted to stealing jokes and regifting them to the people I stole them from.

Comments

[beerlover]

Sorry, you don't have enough staked BEER in your account. You need 24 BEER in your virtual fridge to give some of your BEER to others. To view or trade BEER go to hive-engine.com

[corvidae]

that's because @otherbrandt drank it all

[notanotherbrandt]

!BEER

[beerlover]

Sorry, you don't have enough staked BEER in your account. You need 24 BEER in your virtual fridge to give some of your BEER to others. To view or trade BEER go to hive-engine.com

[corvidae]

Hey @notanotherbrandt and @beerlover can you guys leave us alone? I'm trying to get some and this guy looks like an easy mark.

[notanotherbrandt]

Hi

[corvidae]

Hi! What's a big fish like you doing in a little pond like this, I like your eyes they remind me of shiny stinky sea suction cups, do you wanna get out of here?

[otherbrandt]

shoundsh like white elephant chrishmash thing, exshept i alwaysh keep the handshantizer sho to drink it later

[corvidae]

Me too!!! I like the lavender flavored ones. You ever chill them? It's like a fancy martini. So cheap, too.

[otherbrandt]

no i jush trink them right out of the bottle i like to shkirt them right into my mouth. acshly shomtimes i guesh if the whishky bottlesh low i shkirt them rightinto the whishky bottle and shake it up and that ushully holdsh me over tillthe lickershtores opne in the morning

[corvidae]

Do you have a name for that cocktail?
I'm catching a buzz just smelling your breath.

[otherbrandt]

never thought about that before, maybe The Mouth Sanitizer?

[corvidae]

Oh. You're sober now.

[otherbrandt]

Not for long.