4.00 am, everything remains dark outside and every day I wake up this time to get ready for work. Sometimes it is frustrating waking up this early but when I think about life, I must do it. When the whole world is almost sleeping, I take my dog out for a walk so that later she doesn't feel bad, besides she needs to go out from time to time. There is a connection between darkness and loneliness, I really feel alone at 4.00 am and don't feel motivated at all. It's like I am forced to accept my current situation. Who else do I see when I go out with Gigi every day? People like me who start working the early shift run towards the bus and train station. Sometimes we don't get what we desire, and we always have to compromise with everything that reminds me I am compromising with the situation every day.
The sun rises while I work, almost every day I watch the sunrise from the 15th-floor highrise window. That moment seems like the mighty sun showering blessings on the earth. The gentle rays of the sun spread across the city and sometimes the rays broke through the clouds. It looks so beautiful and I enjoy the moment while working.
Yesterday while working when I saw the magical moment of sunrise, I tried to take some photos. From the 15th floor, the whole of Almere city includes Amsterdam and Lelystad city. Almere city is flat, the ground level is below the sea level because once upon a time this area was the sea. Now, this is a small city near Amsterdam that has no significant history. People just live here.
The sky was red-orange yesterday, and a lot of windmills I saw from far away. The sky was clear and colorful. This was not a usual scene, after all, only some lucky early birds can experience such beauty.
The view from the window was exceptional and magnificent. Because not everyone can experience such kind of view always where you can see ships, yachts, port areas, cityscape, and windmills all together. I took some photos to show you how Almere city looks from the top...
Work-life is okay, not so bad. I came to an understanding that the jobs in the HORECA sector are like that, minimum wage and fewer facilities. Besides 90% of Ukrainians don't get a good job here, they get minimum wage jobs only. Salary will never be increased for us; for the people from Ukraine. People say that you should be grateful that you are able to work here and earn some money, what else do you need exactly because Government is giving you almost everything.
Seeing the work culture here, I question myself every day how I am gonna chase my dreams and desires here. It seems almost impossible to me because most of the time locals don't have answers to our questions. Or maybe because Almere is a small city, we don't have many opportunities. Also, another fact is I can't move to another city, if I move, I have to be all by myself because I am registered with Almere municipality so I have to live here.
I don't understand the tax system here and how to apply for tax deductions or tax returns. The process is complicated and whenever I ask people for help, they say we don't know how the tax system works for the Ukrainians though the tax system should be same for the everybody. I find the entire process very complex and I am looking for help to understand the process. There is a lot of calculation that is beyond my thoughts and understanding. I guess in the future I will tell someone to do it for me. I also need to check if my employers are paying me properly or not, it seems a bit sketchy to me after seeing my last paycheck.
I think I made my life complicated, my overthinking issue always increases my stress level. When I don't think much, my life seems easy and I feel good. But when I start thinking deeply, I quickly become frustrated and demotivated. Things would be a lot easier if I lived in Ukraine. Life was manageable in Ukraine before the war. Here every day I am consuming the shock of the culture because the culture is very different here and I feel small, tiny human here who is trying to find a space for herself.
I always think if my life was like this bright sunrise, I think if my future was bright and stable, then life would be so easy for me.
Every day I wait for a better and stable future...
Thanks for reading... See you soon...
Love
Priyan...
I am @priyanarc.... An architect, a dreamer, and a passionate writer who loves to write about life. I try to present my own perspective and experiences. Please leave your feedback and criticism because it's the only way I can know and reach your mind and thought easily...
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All images used are captured by the author...
4am start? get a new job girl lol.....sorry, I am of course being flippant. That's seriously difficult, especially in Europe in Winter. That's 10am in Thailand and although I'm up, I'm barely coherent at that time and still banging coffees down to try and come alive.
Tomorrow I will give you a thought at 10am here and say thank you to you for reminding me how blessed I am and how I shouldn't complain, remembering what hell you've been through in the last 12 months.
Keep being an inspiration and keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll get there.
Take care and I hope Gigi is in fine health again :-)
Ya 4 am and I go to bed around 9 pm nowadays :D. Pretty awkward but I can't keep my eyes open in the evening during work days. But for now, I am okay with a minimum wage job because at least I have a job, just don't wanna stay unemployed because it will cause more depression in my life. I have never woken up in my life that early even in Ukraine, I used to wake up at 7.00 am :D. My life has drastically changed. I am glad I am not alone who is an early bird, Gigi also wakes up with me and gives me companionship until I leave for work :D hahaha...
As I have said, because of our status we can't do much or good offers are limited. People think that we won't stay here longer so there is always a question about security and liability which I think is kinda rude and unethical.
I also hope one day everything will be fine and my life will be stable...
And yes, I used to be late bird as well :D
Sending you all my good vibes and wishing you all the very best.
War is a cursed beast and it has changed so many lives, it should just end and there shouldn't be any more.
A better world can only come from peace.
I send you a big hug!🤗
This war has changed so many lives and those who fleed from the war, and many of them are in miserable conditions. Of course, some are taking advantage as well but there will be always such kinds of people. A lot of restrictions are coming on the Ukrainian refugees and I think the upcoming months will be very tough for us...
I only hope for peace in life and stability...
Thanks a lot for stopping by...
So crazy... I didn't have to leave my country because of a war, but I had to leave my life behind because of the pandemic, so your words resonate a lot with me! Thanks for sharing! I couldn't stop reading it too! To stop overthinking what I do is all the effort I can to be in the present moment. It's not easy, but when I can, it's really helpful! Keep writing also, I believe it will bring you some clarity about what you want to do with your life and the ways you can move toward it! And for sure, no matter where you are, you'll make your dreams happen! Just be in the present moment and your path will open to you!
I am trying my best and also trying to accept my present situation. I am trying to move forward but like I said, culture is so different and now locals are thinking we are privileged which is understandable but also I find it rude because the majority of us lost our homes. I sometimes cry thinking about the loss of my life but there is nothing I can do except accept the consequences. I write and I am often afraid of how people will consider my writing because nobody wants to read sad depressing stories. I always hesitate nowadays about what to write on the blockchain thinking people might be tired of reading about the war and refugee situation...
I found myself buried in your work. I was relating the pictures to what you were narrating, I couldn't just stop reading.
Don't stop. Keep pushing. One day the Sun will rise with the hope you never thought it could come with. Nothing is late when there is life.
Keep going
Your feedback touched my heart because I never thought that someone will feel attached to my writing. It is a big compliment to me and thank you so much...
My Pleasure
Sending good vibes for you and Gigi 🫳
Thank you so much :), Gigi is sending her identical jump and hugs to you...
How are you dear friend @priyanarc good morning
I am very sorry that your days start very early, the good thing is that you do it for a good cause
What a beautiful view you have from the windows of your work
Ua huge love for you and gigi
Hello, my friend and I hope you are doing better. The view was amazing and it was really nice to experience that as well. I believe things will be better in life, I am just not sure when but hopefully soon.
I wish you a great week and thank you so much...
They are very good views. It's nice to see them. I can only send you my good wishes, sorry for that. But it's the best I can do. Take care.
Thank you so much, my friend, you are already doing a lot, spending time on my blog and taking time to read it and comment. It means a lot to me...
Your description of the sunrise seems beautiful to me, it makes me think of a poem :)
Thinking about accepting the current reality, I suppose that to a certain extent, we are all doing that every day, sometimes it is not easy due to the extreme conditions that are experienced, as is your case.
Regarding taxes, it would be good if you got help or professional advice on the matter.
I also think you will find memories of life being simpler before the war and before having to leave Ukraine as a refugee, that's something I've seen in other people too.
I wish you that everything improves in a near time.
Stay !ALIVE
!LOLZ !GIF beautiful sunrise
!MEME !LUV
!PGM
Via Tenor
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ok i know memes are random but i think this is inappropriate to accompany my comment :(
Hahaha, I think they don't know what you are talking about :P
I wish I could write a poem or some poetic lines but I am very bad at it and never tried to write a single line in life. I used to relate my article with quotations but now I don't do it anymore :D...
Yes, sometimes I find the situation extreme, and seeing other people's stress and panic also makes me wonder and gives me extra stress as well because I know what everybody here is going through.
I also thought about taking professional help because I don't think I can do it.
Let's see what happens next...
You mentioned wondering how you are going to chase your dreams... I hear you. But I think you have been in survival mode for a while, just taking care of basic needs after undergoing some serious and unexpected trauma. So it also makes sense that your head would be full of worry about everything, too. You're still recovering, and I hope you will go easy on yourself for that. That you are able to think about chasing dreams again some day, and able to catch yourself overthinking and worrying, I think this is a good sign that you are very capable of finding a way to make your life better, when you are ready. I wish it could be better immediately, though! And I hope your employers aren't cheating you!! Ugh.
Everything will take time but I still feel fear thinking about the future because it's very hard to start everything from scratch in a new country. I know I don't have any answer about my aim or career because everything is still so uncertain and shaky. As you have said nothing will change immediately. I just hope I will have enough time in life to rebuild myself once again...
I think that you do. I have a friend who is a single mom of two teenagers who recently started doing an accelerated nursing program so she can become a nurse. She's 54. Or maybe 55. There's always time to rebuild yourself! But take your time you need to heal, too.
If she can do it, I can do it also I believe. Thanks for the encouragement, I will keep in my mind this example always...
Thank you so much @ewkaw and @qurator for this wonderful support, I really appreciate it and it means a lot to me...
You're very welcome! Hope you had a good day there.
Sending hugs :)
Thank you once again, take care...