The Art of Knowing What Bridge to Cross & Burn

It was a challenging year for me. I had life stories to share, and most were sad and profound. Nine months have passed after we welcomed the new year of 2022, and it feels like I am still in the roller-coaster-like life cycle.

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Some days were good, and some were bad. There comes a night full of dreams wanting to come true, and there were moments of cries and growls when alone in the room – in the middle of the dark sky. These moments never left me out; they were always there, and I knew it all along. Life is not beautiful, not always about unicorns and butterflies, but one thing is for sure – we must remain hopeful.

As I said, it was a challenging year for me, and I think some people would not bet to disagree. I was challenged to look at myself and see if I did grow in the past few years. It was challenging to adjust to how my life cycle works this year, but I love it this way. I saw the good and bad sides of others. I was betrayed by people who were firsts in the list of my trusted acquaintances.

But these experiences introduced me to something that would change me: the art of knowing what bridge to cross and burn.

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To some people, burning bridges might be too much. But for me, it was my last resort to let myself grow and see that there is a bigger world outside. I was a people-pleaser, and I got betrayals and disappointments in return. I know it was part of growing up, yet I wasn’t ready for those. It just happened earlier to me, in my early 20s. Some of you may say it was a good thing because at least I experienced them earlier than get worse circumstances when they happened later. But maybe, they were meant to happen to teach me a lesson.

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Sometimes burning bridges can only be the only solution when dealing with toxicity. And it is the most significant and best realization I got this year. Even though it means not talking to people I once trusted, would you describe my stand as wrong if I chose to protect my peace of mind?

I burned bridges with people who took advantage of me.

The kinder we got, the more people would take advantage of us. And it is what I saw and realized this year. Sometimes we can be good and kind, but I learned to know who deserves my help and attention more – those who never took advantage of me.

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I burned bridges with friends who betrayed me.

Who never experienced being betrayed by someone, and worst is by your friends? One of the most challenging decisions I made this year was to get myself ready to burn bridges with some friends. I had a lot of circle of friends before, until now, yet I understood that not each of them could defend my name at a table where everyone criticizes me. And sometimes, you must be honest that you must walk away from the circle that betrayed you.

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I burned bridges with relatives who disrespected and belittled my family.

In Filipino culture, most of us experienced getting disrespected and belittled by our own blood. Sometimes it is not true that blood is thicker than water because some relatives do not honor it. I never regret burning bridges with my relatives who tried to disrespect our family, especially my parents. I could be the harshest human being they will ever meet if they would try much worst. And I know most of you can agree that we become different personas regarding our families.

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Sometimes we must learn to walk away from people who only trigger the toxicity around us. It is never wrong to save ourselves from getting affected too much. As much as possible, I want to be surrounded by people who appreciate me and will help me grow as an individual this year. It was a reflection that I had to absorb to achieve the little progress I have in life. Do not feel sorry if you ever learn the art of knowing what bridges to cross and burn.

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I am so grateful to my readers for taking the time to read my piece. Your support means the world to me. Please accept my deepest gratitude to all of you. I look forward to seeing you on my next blog!

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Blog #21
Date Published: September 11, 2022
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I actually got to view your beautiful piece through @traciyork who reblogged it

As I get older, I got wiser. But not always the case I think. LOL.
Well if it's any consolation, I just burned a bridge recently not because of betrayal but it was more of 'doing the right thing' and more like attaining inner peace. I hope.

Have a lovely week ahead kabayan!

!PIZZA

Wow. That was brave, I can say.

I used to be a people-pleaser, too, and I just realized how bad I have been to myself because of it. But as you said, they may be meant to teach us a lesson. Cutting some connections, especially if it is some of our relatives who are supposed to love and respect us, would somehow hurt. But if it's for our own good, then it's just right to do. It's part of the process, and we have to move on.

So I'm actually experiencing a period in my life that I never bargained for and in these times, people's commitment to whatever we share has been grossly tested. So like you, I have come to realize that when you are a man pleaser, your kindness can be easily taken for granted and even abused, so I get it totally when you say you have decided to concentrate your efforts in the direction of only those who deserve it. Everyone definitely have bridges to burn, it's a matter of making up your mind to burn them least they burn you. I absolutely love your piece @charmingcherry.

Thank you so much. I can see how you understood the message of this piece. You are right, people would tend to take advantage of us.

Will unfriend, unfamily, unworkmate anyone who triggers to destroy our peace. It's something we should I for ourselves. Like a little favour.

Yeah. We must protect our peace of mind.

We don't need to be friends with everybody, it's not about the quantity but the quality of our friendship, and when people try to take undue advantage of us, we must burn that bridge.

I enjoyed this beautiful piece.

Indeed. We only have a few that are true.

PIZZA!

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