I have spent the majority of my life isolating, either playing video games, depressed, or doing drugs. I missed so many opportunities to spend with my grandma before she passed. My mom used to ask if I want to go see the family, and I would always think I have more important things to do, whether it be the new game I became obsessed with, or I wanted to get high and have fun instead.
I thought seeing family was boring when I was younger, but it could have added up to many more memories with that person. Before my dad got remarried, he would ask me if I wanted to go play basketball, or some activity I wasn't interested in at the time. I always ended up saying no, because I was obsessed with the game Runescape at the time. Little did I know, those were the last moments I would have with my dad before he got completely preoccupied with working 70 hours a week and spending the rest with his wife.
The only memories I remember are the ones spent with family and friends, whether it be a vacation, or doing things I wasn't so thrilled about. Sure I don't like sports, but that was the only way my dad knew how to bond with me, and I would love to have spent the time making memories, instead of doing activities I do not remember, like playing video games.
I loved my grandma to death, and she passed at 86, while I was in jail. Luckily I got furlough(temporary release from jail) to go to the funeral. Those last years, I was high 24/7, and my mom would ask me to call her or see her, repeatedly, and I always got extremely irritated, as I found it awkward to talk to her. I was the only one she truly felt normal around. She had crippling depression, much worse than I have, and everyone treated her differently. Even as a child, I treated her with the same attitude I did with anyone else. Those last years were very hard for my grandma, she was in an extreme amount of physical pain, and was stuck with the worst depression she had in her life. Every time I called, it brought her out of misery and gave her temporary happiness. Every day, I wish I would have called my grandma more. My grandpa, I never felt as close to, but now he has dementia and is in steady mental decline. I wish I would have gotten to know my Grandpa too.
On my dad's side of the family, I have the best memories of my life, going on trips to upper Michigan, the Florida Keys, Downtown Chicago, Cedar Point Halloweekend(Halloween event at a rollercoaster amusement park.), and a ton of amazing, magical adventures, which I will treasure forever. If I didn't start messing up my life, I would have had plenty more adventures spent with the ones I love. I don't talk to them much anymore, as my self-destructive attitude and lifestyle pushed them away, they didn't understand it.
The moral of the story is, if you go to see your dad twice a year, and he is 74, that is 12 more visits if he ends up passing at 80. My mom is 61, and she could be taken from me at any time, and it took me till 23 years old to realize that. If she would have died while I was in active drug addiction, I would never have gotten over the grief and guilt. We should take the time out of our busy lives, to spend with the ones we love, we never know what may happen.
Thank you for reading, please comment, reblog, and vote. Check out my other posts if you liked this one. I appreciate it more than words can describe. The fact that you are all taking time out of your day to comment and show your support is amazing. Thank you, my friends :) have a wonderful day.
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Those are some heartfelt reflections. Indeed, we should be paying more attention to what matters before life passes us.
That said, RunEscape is addicting and I know many who spent most of their "younger" time on it 24/7.
I thought it would be good to bring it to others' attention, as we often overlook a lot of important things in life. And I almost dived back into Runescape yesterday, but I realized how much time I waste on it, and held off.😅
In fact, that's the only way I'd play any game again.
Don't get sucked back into it, brother!
Lmao my friend hates NFTs but i fell in love. I must stay strong, and dedicate my time to hive.
Completely agree with you.
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Thanks, queen. :)
What a fabulous piece of writing! It was very touching that you had such a good vibe with your grandma, and that you two understood each other so well. And even though she is gone and you don't have much time with your Dad, you can at least spend time with your Mom and try to build memories with her.
You might also enjoy writing the details of some of the memories you made. You could talk about how they made you feel and the things you liked most about them. Then years from now when your own memory begins to fade, you can read them and refresh the details in your mind. There are many things I wish I'd written down, so that advice comes from experience.
"Kudos!" for a really good post! I like the way you write, so genuine and down-to-earth. 😊
Thanks for the good sharing. I’ve been spend so little time with my grandma too. Until she leaves us, then I felt so sad and regret.
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I feel your sadness. I am currently working through some grief and they have not even passed away yet.
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I relate so hard with this because after losing my father, I had so many regrets.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I have not lost any direct family yet. I have been reflecting on my relationships, and I am trying to get get more time to spend with my mom and dad, but they are always super busy.
I understand and thank you, you should make time for each other.
We only got one life so Dont judge yourself too hard but its good to reflect and improve better as a person.
If we don't continue improving then we will be stuck in a lot of flawed ways, at least that's my view on it. Thanks for commenting.
wow! i really good post. Very good.
Thank you very much. 😄
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For me, the saddest, most unfortunate words in the English Language are:
And I have a closet full of such sad, unfortunate memories of
"I wish I had when I had the chance"
Great post
This has been my top priority for the past few years.
I guess it's the fear of losing a loved one to Covid. We've already lost a few relatives, quite suddenly too. It all surely did hit quite hard, because everything just happened so fast.
Covid proved to us that life is temporary and you'll never know what's coming for you.