Have you spent days, weeks, or even months of sleepless nights just contemplating a revolutionary concept that until today still remains inside your head? Are you currently involved with a creative project that you haven't shared with your community yet because you're still fine-tuning it?
Do those scenarios sound familiar? I've been stuck in these insane traps for as long as I can remember. Since I started school during my childhood days, my parents used to constantly encourage me to top my class. However, as much as I pursued to be ahead of my classmates academically, I ended up achieving results that were below my standard expectations.
Why did this happen?
Well, I wasn't enjoying those activities anymore - they were simply mechanical, converting my being to a robot that literally followed orders. Of course, it was against my free will. Stress, frustration, and pressure were creeping in whenever I aimed to be flawless with all my personal and business endeavors. Moreover, since it drained my happiness, it was obviously a self-destructive loop. Little did I realize that I was slowly burying myself inside a dark dungeon called Perfectionism.
But, what is it really? Is it a psychological disease? How do you determine whether your work has reached the desired level of quality you're looking for? To put it another way, how do you know when your ideas, proposals, and creations are ready for public scrutiny? While there are no permanent strategies to approach this dilemma, I was blessed to have befriended a trusted mentor who shared her practical formula which can be summed up in 3 important words:
PROGRESS, not Perfection.
It was during one of my impromptu meetings inside my favorite coffee shop that we had the opportunity to reconnect, chit-chat, and converse about all sorts of stories under the sun. However, as we sipped our large mugs of heavenly brews, there was still one crucial question that was itching to leave my lips, "How did she overcome perfectionism?".
You see, my female mentor was an extreme workaholic. Yet, I later learned that it was not because of the passion for what she does, but due to the ridiculous amount of time and the energy she invested in repeatedly polishing her work. Her absurd behavior resulted in a vicious cycle, unfortunately transforming her into a person suffering from "Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder" (OCD). It was a living nightmare!
"I used to be satisfied with ordinary projects until I was constantly challenged by the award-winning accomplishments my peers had enjoyed. I merely felt inferior and was truly desperate to make my mark in the world. But, I went too far by resolving to outsmart them all. And I thought I was doing myself a favor until my own precious health was on the verge of deterioration. I'm telling you, it wasn't worth it," she explained while staring at me and then smiled.
Call it the right moment, since I happened to have a notebook with me to take down notes encompassing all the effective remedies she claimed to have rescued her from the further struggle. Finally, the big question of the day, "How did she overcome perfectionism?" left my lips as I asked her without hesitation. Here are a few of the most potent cures she mentioned:
AVOID PROCRASTINATION. Segregate your work into small achievable portions and bite-sized actions. You're most likely to be overwhelmed by massive projects, so taking tiny increments towards your goals is more manageable to prevent postponing tasks.
TAKE BABY STEPS. Always start small. Don't worry if your idea is mediocre. If you had the impression that your industry heroes became overnight successes through secret shortcuts, think again. It's all about savoring the various processes of your journey.
SAVE YOUR ENERGY. Focus your efforts on endeavors that matter, not on urgent activities that don't count. Practice religiously the Eisenhower Matrix, an effective method for time management. As they say, "Better late than never. But never late is better".
REFRAIN FROM ANALYSIS PARALYSIS. This is a deadly psychological sickness that must stop immediately. You don't need to be fully equipped to initiate your creativity unless you choose to be crippled by this negative mentality. Just move forward and do it!
SET YOUR MIND FOR PROGRESS. It's time for a paradigm shift. Remember Albert Einstein when he said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result"? That famous quote is pretty much an ideal epitome for today's harsh reality.
Perfection is pointless. At least for mere mortals like us, it simply is. It's the fiercest enemy of progress and sets you up for illusions of grandeur until it eventually pushes you down the sinkhole of failure. Endless revisions, tweaks, and repetitions on anything we do are a clear manifestation of fear of judgment. Because you dread being exposed to the criticisms, opinions, and feedback from others, you'll remain stagnant and end up presenting nothing valuable at all to society.
Hey, listen. Perfectionism is a dream killer!
So, unless you're happy with growing old by being filled with disappointments down the road, real progress is your best ally. Now, embracing progress doesn't necessarily mean that you produce low-quality results, decreasing your excellent standards, or contributing lousy, poor, as well as useless garbage to your fellow men. Aiming for progress is better understood and defined as our relentless pursuit for constant excellence, learning, enhancement, and evolution towards the kind of life that's more sustainable in the long term. There's no such thing as perfection, hence escape and free yourself from its harmful clutches - truly becoming your best self by offering your time, talents, and treasures with humanity and our planet. Keep shining!
#Hive, are you a perfectionist? Or do you feel more at home with progress? What's your stand? Let's talk in the comments below.
References:
All photos were sourced from Unsplash with their respective authors indicated as watermarks on each image.
Absolutely right, going into a week of time wasted coming out the other end drained and still nit picking is not a requirement, perfection really is all within achieving the best, is it best for us and our well being?
Very pertinent points, excellent read, time wasted is never recovered, watch what you do!
@tipu curate
Upvoted 👌 (Mana: 92960/93000) Liquid rewards.
Definitely, perfectionism is a time-waster. And because time is the most valuable commodity in our possession, we might as well spend it wisely before it's all gone. That's what matters. Thank you so much for experiencing my post, for your beautiful insights, and for your kind generosity @joanstewart. Take care. 😊
Too much time spent "double thinking" or doubting oneself, move and see what the reaction is, if not well received moved on, while you still have the time 😄.
Well written and thought out content as to how many of us react. Have an amazing day!
Oh yeah, we only have one life. So better make the most of it, Useless repetitions, compulsive actions, and unnecessary tweaks taking forever, are simply detrimental to sustainable health and happiness. I'm glad to share content that practically resonates with most of us. Cheers! 😊
Concur with reasoning, have a great day, be happy!
Dear friend Ernes, you leave me perplexed with your ideas and your diaphanous way of telling them. In my opinion, wanting to achieve perfection only leads to failure and this leads to personal insecurity. I can tell you a personal anecdote, when I started studying engineering, that was the first career I chose in college, my father, who was quite conservative, told me that I could not fail in any subject, because in case that happened I would be a bad professional. Such an idea stuck in my mind to such a degree that when I had stumbles in mathematical analysis in the third semester I did not tell my father anything, because I remembered his position on the matter. A lie led to another lie and at some point I felt at a crossroads, either I was telling the truth or I was going to go crazy. When I told him what was happening to me, I was forced to leave the country to study in the United States, because I had lost all credibility by not being "perfect" in my studies. The story continues, but I just wanted to emphasize that trying to achieve perfection is the worst purpose one can put in life, since we are imperfect by nature. Receive my congratulations on your interesting as well as educational writing.
Hello dear friend Benjamin. Thank you for expressing your interesting perspective on the matter. As I've mentioned in the introduction, I can pretty much relate to your frustrating struggle as a student. Like you, I was also trapped in the prison of pleasing our parents on their ridiculously impossible expectations. The pursuit of perfection in school and other endeavors in life will never be possible because it simply does not exist. Hence, for the sake of our sanity, happiness, and health, striving for progress is a much better and more human alternative.
With all due respect, would you mind sharing the part of my post that has confused you?
Hi Erne, I clarify that I have used the word "perplex" in the positive sense, perhaps in Spanish, of "pleasantly amazed" by the ideas expressed in your post, not as a synonym for confused. What amazes me is that you, as Descartes requested, express your ideas clearly and distinctly; your ideas seem to come from the pen of a philosopher or a psychologist with high philosophical training. On the other hand, I fully agree with what you have expressed in your post and in the response you gave to my comment. Excuse me if I express myself inappropriately. Finally, I congratulate you on your ideas and the way you express them.
Okay, got it - I understand. Thank you very much for the clarification. I must have interpreted your words literally haha. 🤣 Anyway, appreciate it and have a fantastic weekend! 😊
Hola erne, creo que utilicé la palabra "perplejo" en el sentido positivo cotidiano de "asombrado" por lo bien de su escrito, no de confundido. Sus ideas claras y distintas, como quería Descartes, parecieran salir de la pluma de un filósofo o un psicólogo con alta formación filosófica. No tengo ninguna duda de lo que usted expresa en el post, es más estoy totalmente de acuerdo.
Is it possible to see the English language translation please dear friend Benjamin?
Thanks for this..great advice. I guess I need this as well.
San ka pla nakatira kuya? I presume you are a Filipino because you look like one 😁
😀👍
Super love this read. Especially the parts when you mentioned baby steps. People tend to think that being successful or great at something only takes in-born talent when it clearly isn't. Every successful person started pretty average in life and took baby steps in things that they believed in making them successful in their own fields. The same can be said in every other aspect in or lives.
Hi @humbledwriter, pleased to meet you. Exactly, overnight successes are far from reality, unless miracles do happen or are influenced by divine intervention. Naturally, every normal person starts from scratch and builds their way up the ladder of their dreams. Slowly but surely - that's the essence of a fulfilling life. Thank you for your inspiring message. 😀
Hi! Very pleased to meet you too. I agree, just baby steps until those baby steps result in a massive leap from where you were. You're welcome!
With pleasure. Indeed big achievements will always initiate from small actions. Best wishes.
Greetings @storiesoferne What an incredible subject you have bought into limelight. Truly, your valuable thoughts on seeking perfectionism and clarity on "Perfection doesn't exists" is remarkable. I too think that it is impossible to seek perfection as Idea of something being perfect is really subjective and something that is subjective can't please everyone hence perfection doesn't exists.
Thanks for your thoughts and wishing you great week ahead.
Hello dear Sahiba @sahiba-rana. You certainly hit the jackpot with your powerful insight above. Since every person is unique and has the freedom to express their own opinions, it's simply impossible to pursue perfection. What might be beautiful for one might not have a similar view to another. As a result, progress is more flexible because it adapts to every person regardless of their judgment. Have a lovely week my friend! 😊
Thank you for your kind words, actually this is so true. Have a great week ahead dear @storiesoferne
With pleasure always dear Sahiba @sahiba-rana. You too have a lovely weekend. 😊
Thank you for your kind words, actually this is so true. Have a great week ahead dear @storiesoferne
Wow, That's some wholesome advice @storiesoferne Perfection isn't the one that should be preferred but the goal should be seeking satisfaction and sanity while working and following the dreams.
Thanks a ton for your beautiful set of words on self improvement. Stay awesome.
Thanks so much, @praditya. Since both of us belong to the creative fields of architecture and design, we are the most likely candidates for perfectionism. Our exposure to different projects tends to challenge our criteria for quality work thus sometimes tempting us to be flawless. Does this resonate with you?
It does resonate with me as There is never a time where I felt that this design of façade or plan is perfect there's always an urge of 'it needs something more' So, in hue of seeking perfectionism I tend to remain unsatisfied. Which should be changed of course.
Absolutely. For our sanity, well-being, and happiness to flourish in the long run, progress must be chosen above perfection. Change is the only permanent thing in this world, so we must be flexible enough to adapt to it. Or else we tend to struggle more. Thanks a lot for sharing your beautiful thoughts. 😀
Excellent publication, some important steps to avoid the self-punishment that sometimes we do, perfection does not exist, we all have our special touch, we just have to be authentic in everything we do.
Hello @floramarela, and many thanks for your encouraging words of wisdom. Indeed, since we were created as unique human beings, it's up to each one of us to contribute our special gifts for the better good of the world. Appreciate your time here. 😃
Some great points here - thank you, @storiesoferne! I too have fallen into the trap of OCD, and even though it's only on certain things, it can truly be a nighmare.
I've found that since becoming disabled (due to injury) I've had to completely re-evaluate how I do pretty much anything, as in terms of some of the most simple things (i.e. cooking a meal) have become too much for me to do safely on my own. I am learning though, and found one of the hardest things for me to do was to ask for help.
Admitting this cost me a lot - and it took a long time.
Annabelle.
Hello Annabelle @planetauto. I'm pleased to meet you. Many thanks for spending time on my post - appreciate it. Certainly, any person can be a victim of OCD if they allow it to overpower them. I also had my share of struggles with the disorder due to personal ambition and the insane pursuit of meeting impossible expectations. Therapy did the trick to improve my situation.
I'm very sorry to hear about your disability. And as much as we all strive to be heroes in our individual endeavors, we're simply limited due to our human physicalities, unless influenced by divine grace. However, as the saying goes "No man is an island", no one is meant to be alone in this world, thus I'm truly glad you've found assistance in others. God bless that person or those people who have gone out of their way to be there for you, to nurture you, to encourage you, and to ensure that you're doing well healthwise. Loving angels do exist and they're there to make your life worthwhile. Take care. 😊
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