With Finnish independence day on Tuesday, I decided to take Monday off as well and it is now just sinking in that I have a four day weekend ahead!
Cheers!
One glass of wine with Archer to celebrate.
I noticed I have to use subtitles now to catch the speed of the language jokes.
Sad.
I used to be quite quick with my own wit, now I struggle to keep up with that of others. I guess this is what it must feel like for the elderly who no longer are able to understand what the youth of today are saying. At some point, they perhaps just give up even trying to listen and tune it all out as noise - regardless of the importance of what is being said.
No wonder I
am becominghave become a grumpy old man.
Smallsteps was upset this evening because her mother wasn't going to be home, as she will be out enjoying their staff Christmas party for the evening. We still had our Adventure Friday plans however, which was Daddy-Daughter sushi together in the city, and I was saying that rather than being upset, she should change her mind and think about what she was happy about instead. She asked how is it possible to change one's mind...
Good question.
After all, the mind is what it is, so if it isn't conditioned to be able to shift focus from one thing to another, it is likely going to get stuck in a rut, fixated on whatever it has decided is important at the time, which is generally what makes us feel is important, even if it isn't in our best interest, or important at all.
Like happiness?
Of course it is important to be be happy, but I think that our focus on Being happy all of the time has led us down the path of instant gratification and low level happiness, instead of building contentment. As I was talking with a colleague today socially, while instant gratification can be gained through small and irrelevant wins, they don't necessarily lead to the types of wins that are lasting, that are significant and bring meaning to life. As I said to him, there are a lot of pithy sayings, but there is often truth in them that goes unacknowledged, like;
It's the journey, not the destination.
Happiness is a destination, not the journey. It is a result and it can be gained in the moment, but long term, low-level happiness through meaningless point scoring and acknowledgement generally runs thin, requiring more and more to get the same level of high - like a drug. And because the path is short to getting these highs are coming from meaningless activities in terms of what will be important down the track, there is no longevity in that happiness.
Put a selfie on Instagram, get some likes and be happy. Next selfie gets some more likes for the same level of happiness, the next gets a million likes for the same level of happiness, then the next and the next *and the next... at some point, there is no more happiness regardless of result, because it is an expected outcome, an automatic response -
But what has been built - what has been accomplished?
A stream of selfies. Is that what makes a good life journey these days?
But as I see it, it is part of the societal disconnection that is being encouraged through the various incentive mechanisms, as we are able to get our "satisfaction" without needing to be part of a community. Instead we just get it from strangers who have no idea who we really are, but will support us on some narrow slice view we provide them. And there is no consistency required, just a "per instance" event.
I think humans are made to think about what they leave behind, some kind of legacy of some type, but with fewer and fewer people creating or doing anything of importance, we are constantly redefining what "counts" as important. There has been a massive deflation of meaning in so much of what we do, where something like "solidarity" no longer requires activity and is now achievable through the changing of a profile picture. Or creativity is using AI to generate art.
The bar is low.
But, it could also be that this is my view of things where the grumpy old man that I have become no longer understands what is going on in this world, that I am no longer know how people work - yet I suspect that after two million years of evolution, our human needs haven't actually changed that much in the last couple decades, we have just changed the definitions in order to lower the bar, even though the lowering means that we can no longer get over the lowest threshold to actually accomplish what we need to accomplish to feel that our life truly matters.
I should have a second glass of wine.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Glass half full or glass half empty? Who and what do you compare against?
Although difficult, emotions can be flipped by changing the mindset.
I think I compare myself against myself in the past, where there is a memory of "who I was" and what I have become. The realization that I am still the same person, just worse, is sad :D
It's probably not any consolation but I tend to use subtitles a lot because it helps comprehension overall.
I've generally found with my kids that acknowledging that they are upset about things not going their way AND sympathising with them helps a lot with "changing your mind". Though the ADHD child takes longer because hyperfixations are a thing. These days they usually work their way through things by ranting at me and then they're happy again.
How was Daddy-Daughter sushi? :D
I feel a weird synchronicity between this and a post I just read by @alexbiojs which you might be interested in if you haven't seen it already.
I think it does too, though I tend to then read more, rather than watch - not sure what I lose in doing so.
Is there such a thing as the terrible 6ers?
It feels very familiar to some of the ideas I have on it - I wish the search function was better on Hive! :D
She was sick with a fever before we even finished the meal...
Can you not see the whole screen when you're reading?
There is a hormone surge from 6-8 which is supposed to be roughly proportional to the one they get when they're teenagers.
Oh no poor small D: food reaction or seasonal bug?
thank you for your support. it is cool to know that someone reads my posts and find the ideas shared helpful/interesting, I hope.
thanks ;)
Archer's a mighty show. They don't make them like that, anymore ;) Enjoy!
Also, happy next day of December!
...
This is the second piece on happiness that I read tonight. It should come from within.
— Said the Zen follower to the Hot-Dog vendor.
So many great one-liners in there :)
I could do with a hotdog!
Hope you are well mate :)
Get old! It makes people feel in many ways. The mind now perceives everything differently than before. The body is not as strong as before and gets tired quickly. Health! This is the most important, I think. We carry much more diseases than youth. The healing process takes a long time. It's sad but inevitable. Gotta get used to it...
Getting old sucks - and I don't think I am even that old! I reckon my parents were in better shape at my age than I am now :D
I absolutely agree with this. I feel like we're aging more or less 10 years ahead of them. 😀
We have decades more knowledge under our belt as a society - doing worse.
And that is the real danger, as at some stage we decide to give up. To capitulate and to just allow all of the things in life to flow over us. Not a nice stage to be in as it gets very lonely.
So just hang on.
There is definitely a high risk of capitulation and the subsequent loneliness that inevitably follows. I also feel that people who are relatively young are doing this too - and they still have 70-80 years ahead of them.
Oh yes and that's how I know it, as at Papillon we work with many of them.
It is mostly the daily grind and the continued lack of opportunities that breaks them down.
But of course, there are many other reasons for capitulation.
I wonder how much of the lack of opportunity is self-inflicted around the world?
A very good question and I am afraid that no answer will be readily available.
Whiskey is what you need.
I have often thought about starting to become a whiskey or cognac drinker - but I am not that classy. :D
Oh come on! That is just misconception! Do you think Irish sailors were classy Or Kentucky coal mine workers :)
It’s just a drink. The point is you drink a little to get the impact. Also better on stomach lining and just more tasty :)
I don't know if it is better on the stomach, but I will take your word for it. I have a couple bottles of good cognac in the cellar - they have been there a very long time! :D
I had cognac yesterday night, with great British baking show (I tell you the show is wonderful)
Also to prove that there is nothing classy about it, here is a random shot of bottles on my kitchen table
I haven't watched a cooking show for a very long time, but I liked Nigella back in the day :D
I have no idea why I can't drink Whiskey, cognac or bourbon now - it might have been the misspent childhood. :)
I have read that reading big books is good for brain training. But I can only write short stories myself.
I struggle to read, as I have to build all the pictures to visualize it manually and it is very, very energy intensive and quite stressful.
Bleak! Yes, a second glass of wine, please do!
I had another half ;)
I often wonder the same, trying to pinpoint the time or the moment of becoming “old” and “disconnected”
Work/office focus started it all (maybe), but I still remembered feeling “cool” and youthful in the early days, then not sure when and what happened, next moment is waking up to “this” lol.
It is depressing to wake up and realize the cool has gone.
The moment one becomes uncle/aunt from brother/sister, especially from strangers, it all goes downhill from there. 😱
If you think you are grumpy now just imagine yourself in the future. You could become a real Tyrion Lannister.
But in that case two glasses wines will not be enough.Tyrion is likely a touch taller than I am! :D
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