Smallsteps' Finnish is stronger than her English, as 95% of her life is lived in the local language. This isn't to say her English isn't strong, but there is definitely a clear difference between the two. We are encouraging her to be more inquisitive with the language to enrich her range and ask questions when she doesn't understand and today, she asked what "expect" means.
It would be relatively easy to give her the Finnish translation for it at the beginning, but this is generally not the best way to learn a language, as it doesn't build the "story" around the word, the visualization that holds it in memory and helps recall. To do that requires context and illustration to build the concept, and then practice to ensure that it is "owned" by the learner - who in this case is Smallsteps.
And, rather than just teach her a word and the meaning, I use the "lesson" to cluster other concepts into the mix, with today being a refresher lesson on three states of time;
Past, present and future.
This is important for language learning also, but in terms of expectations, it is valuable to first understand that we can only expect something to happen in the future. Me being me though, it also then included the development of while we may have expectations, it doesn't mean that they are going to actually happen. The example I used was that I expect it to be a sunny day, but that doesn't mean it won't get cloudy or rain.
The future is always unknown, no matter what we expect it to be.
This is hard to explain to a six year old, but through illustration of concepts they already understand, it is possible to get the point across in their own words. For instance, I asked what she expects from me and what came to her mind was,
I expect you to play a memory game with me.
(Simple card game)
And I said I planned on it, but asked what happens if I get an urgent call from work and have to go? She obviously then said that I wouldn't be able to play, so then what she expected to happen, won't.
Will you be disappointed?
Yes. But we can play after.
Exactly. Plans change.
This conversation went on for about an hour and we talked about many things surrounding it, as she went off in tangents and spent time to reiterate everything we spoke of in examples that she can understand. This is the value of discussion, as while learning the word and its meaning is one thing, to apply it well requires understanding, but understanding can't be given by another, it has to be developed internally - at least until downloading skills straight from the matrix is possible.
But, whilst people say "expect nothing", this is not actually a good position under many circumstances.
The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools. - Confucius
Expectation is about prediction of what could happen, but it is never going to be 100% certain. Like in the Confucian quote above, if you expect that you want to perfect a skill, you should prepare the conditions for success of that end. The problem is when there is an expectation on the future that requires attendance and preparation in order to fulfill, but that work doesn't get done, but the expectation still holds firm. When you don't do the work necessary and then don't get the result you want...
What else can you expect?
As said, we spoke about this in terms of past, present and future, where the future is determined by the past, but we can't change what has already happened and we can't guarantee the future, but we can affect what we are doing right now. So, if we expect we want a particular outcome in the the future, regardless of the past, we can still act in ways that give us the best chance of success to reach that goal. That might be having to change what we are doing quite drastically and this might be uncomfortable, so we also have to consider if we are willing to do different than what we have done to get to where we want to be.
This step is vital, because while people can visualize the future they want, all they want, if they aren't acting toward that end, they are very, very unlikely to get there. But, because they might spend a lot of time fantasizing about that future, it can become quite real to them, even though it is improbable to reach, based on their actions.
This where entitlement comes in too, isn't it?
People feel they are entitled to certain outcomes, because they expect that they deserve them based on some set of conditions, even if they aren't necessarily meeting the prerequisites to get there. But, even if they are meeting the prerequisites, that doesn't mean that they are guaranteed getting what they "deserve".
For instance,
Everyone has the human right to live in safety.
But, this isn't reality and each year, there are around 400,000 homicides globally, which doesn't include civilian deaths from war. There is the right, but it is more of a "right", a moralistic position based on personal (general) ideals. This is the same for all rights, including the right for free speech, the right for an education, the right for identity equality etc. None of these things are guaranteed by unbreakable natural laws, they are social concepts that may be protected by human law, but that doesn't stop Human behavior from breaking the law.
Expecting otherwise, is folly.
Yet, we are all foolish. We all live in a world of expectations and although we might not want to attach ourselves to them, because we know that there are no guarantees, our human assumption machine just doesn't have the capacity and bandwidth to continually fight against its will to create generalizations and heuristics to navigate our existence.
When we think it is going to be a sunny day, plan for a sunny day, get excited over a sunny day - even though we know we can't control the weather, if it rains, we will be disappointed.
This is why it is a parent's job to introduce "disappointment" into childhood experience, which isn't hard to do. It is because it is literally a lesson in expectation setting and failing, as the "appointment" part is about agreeing and assigning to something, in this case, a condition in the future. The "dis" part is the un-assigning of that condition, breaking the agreement.
If we aren't accustomed having our plans "disappointed" in life, we are going to spend a lot of time disappointed, because plans rarely go to plan. Learning this early in life is far easier than having to learn it later when the plans carry more effective weight on experience.
Now obviously, this isn't the full conversation or the way I spoke about it with Smallsteps, but all of these concepts (plus several more) were introduced into the discussion. We spent time talking about these things and both of us really enjoyed the conversation, where we got to explore each other's understandings and form a closer bond around the learning of a "simple" word. When it comes to words like this though, there is no such thing as simple, because to understand it well, there is a whole lot of psychological and emotional background that can be included - but as with anything in life, there is no such thing as full understanding,
all knowledge is a work in progress.
While we might want to, we can't expect to understand it all.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Most people make a big mistake, they want to follow the same curriculum and lifestyle of prominent personalities who affect them, they try to convey their future to them, but they do not know that each person has certain circumstances and a different past that greatly affects the upcoming events and future. Each individual must act according to his abilities and correct his current situation.
This is true, but at what point is an individual capable? A baby will likely learn to walk without assistance, but that isn't the same for reading. Abilities are dynamic and are built up over time, but most of us are programmed to do the bare minimum.
Language is something that must be acquired at a young age through dialogues and the exchange of information. Young children should be taught and treated as young adults capable of taking responsibility in order for them to have more advantages over other people.
Does the current method of learning, especially with the adoption of technology, have a negative impact, does it destroy the personality and talent of the child?
Depends on the child I think. For some, it helps them, others it harms.
What's you Finnish like, do you have a decent spoken command of it?
It is basic - I can get by, but I am not going to win any awards and, it depends on the surroundings. Too many people speaking at once and I can't understand much.
If there's one thing I always wanted to achieve it was to be Bi-Lingual. Living here, it can't be done easily, I can't practice.
You just need to spend more time at the local Indian restaurant to learn Bengali.
Now that's an idea, they are everywhere. If @goblinknackers lived closer I could take my pick of several.
I think making someone expose to speak a foreign language could be an effective way to teach.
As we age, I think we get used to the disappointments of life because we see things through rose-coloured glasses in early times of our life :)
Yes it is, but children will tend to favor the "easier" side. in this case, 95% of her life is in Finnish (school, family etc) and she only speaks English when I am around.
It makes sense that we need to learn through experience that not everything goes according to plan. But at the same time, it's also important to teach kids about keeping one's word, if we promise it.
This post has been manually curated by the VYB curation project
This is a different side of it. Promises should be kept, but even then, there are unavoidable circumstances that will break them.
True, but in those cases we should just say we will do our best :) ...
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I think it’s wonderful small steps is learning Finnish and English. You are a great dad and teacher, I enjoy your stories about your daughter
I love how you think outside the box, then spend quality time with her.
It was parent/ teacher night tonight and normally teachers are concerned that dual-language children fall behind. This isn't an issue for Smallsteps so far :D
I find that surprising, one would think to be able to learn 2 languages is a plus. Your daughter will do great with a dad like you to guide her along.
I love your conversations with smallsteps. You are a brilliant Dad.
I just like talking with her! She is a riot :)
Our children can be mirrors for us, highlighting the good and the bad. It doesn't suck that they delight us while they reflect ourselves. I'm so happy for you, and for her, and for your wife, that you find your daughter a riot,
Languages can be fun sometimes, just laughing at the fact that my wife is learning my language - romanian, and we just realize that moldavian and romanian are the same language, so she can speak not 2 but 3 languages now, in progress. (Meanwhile Moldavian is Romanian, but it is the official language of another country so technically...corect.)
:)
Europe is interesting in regards to language, where people often speak three or more. As an Australian - I feel like an idiot! :D
It is important to let them know that this are part of what is supposed to be experienced in life and teaching them at a tender age would create the ideology of what is expected to occur in life.
There is a balance of course - it can't all be disappointment :)
but as with anything in life, there is no such thing as full understanding, - which is why the learning process will always be a continuous one . There’s certainly no stopping to learning in all ramifications .
This is why it is a parent's job to introduce "disappointment" into childhood experience, which isn't hard to do. - this point right here certainly has to be a parenting hack I feel . Most parents won’t even give their wards the opportunity to make mistakes and learn from it let alone allowing them experience what disappointments feels like .
Most parents want an easy life too - it is easier to have a child not fail or get disappointed, than have them in tears and have to deal with that.
True words right there . A balance just needs to be struck it seems . Funny how there’s not a manual for parenting , Lol .
Greetings, Mr. Taraz
Your child is building her knowledge based on her knowledge, her experience as you say step by step every day (in progress) confronting her with what she learns with other children with the help of her parents to make it meaningful. I applaud you for your great love to lead, channel the best for small steps. This is how we learn, even when we become adults.
At my age over 60 I still do it for new learning around me.
I hope the baby is doing well and in better health. ☮️
Do you focus your learning on anything in particular at the moment?
At this moment and since always the ontology of being . in addition to other knowledge as we all do; learning along the way, modeling our filters and making as much as possible that learning is meaningful.
Thank you for the question. I always ask myself what do I focus on? What else is possible that was not possible before? everything is to ask to improve and change, Mr. Taraz.
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