My little reprieve is rapidly coming to an end. This pause has been so restorative, but also it has made me not want to push quite so hard all the time. I am sure many of you feel that way when you finally take a pause, all you hustlers out there.
That said, the finish line is in view, this should be my last hard semester in school at least class load-wise, so I am feeling pretty positive about that.
However, I am not a kid, or even that young anymore, and I find my thoughts starting to coalesce in ways that are foreign to me. I have always been a very optimistic, curious person, one who sees opportunities to learn around every bend, yet, here lately I have realized that I am sorta content to just exist. It's strange how we evolve as we age. I am not sad about it, rather it is just a new bit of the trail to traverse.
Speaking of trails, our weather has warmed up yet again, so it's a slushy, wet mess around here. In fact, it looks more like March than January. Which of course has got me a bit spooked about fire season, yes, there is a TON of water right now, but without snow pack in all these mountains and with the incredible growth in the Inland PNW's population, I shudder a bit to think about this summer.
But, that's not in my hands, I just gotta keep this place from going up in smoke and I have a fire truck, equipment, a pump, and a river and a lake at my disposal, I'll do my best. And before that time arrives on the calendar the hubs and I get to jet off to Texas and Arkansas for an entire month for an actual vacation! We are going to stay in the second most haunted hotel in the country in Eureka Springs, go diamond mining, explore our friend's hometown. It's amazing when a trip you and a couple of your friends talked about materializes over a decade later. All our kids are grown as of this year, it's time to start doing those things.
But right now, right now I think I am going to take a nap. I have done all my chores, and I think opportune nap times won't be a very present thing for the next four months, at least not for this Kat.
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I find myself envying you a bit. You had your kids at a young age, and close together. They both took flight from the nest (successfully) around age 18. You are still young enough to enjoy travel and other adventures as an empty-nester.
My life didn't work out that way. I had my kids when I was older, and they were spaced farther apart. Due to assorted circumstances, only one of them became permanently independent at age 18. Now my husband's health is deteriorating and he refuses to travel anywhere. I struggle with fatigue, but am still game to go places and do things as long as I can take a nap. My future doesn't look very pleasant. I am accustomed to being an upbeat, positive-thinking person, but I feel myself slipping into a pattern of glumness and depression. It's frustrating.
End of whine. It could be worse. I'm not in a wheelchair. All of my senses still work. I can drive. I have friends, and I have three wonderful grandchildren. There's hope.
I find myself making all sorts of concerned Kat noises as I read your reply, ones that wish I could give you a hug and just come collect you to go on some adventures with me.
You are one of the absolutely coolest people I know, an opinion shared by more folks than just myself, and it's a bit disheartening to hear of your feeling glum, even though I completely see why you are feeling so. You are not whining at all, just thoughtfully perusing some of the not so fun parts of your timeline, and I love that you ended things with such a positive spin.
Still may drop by sometime and be like, "Hey, want to go for a bit of an adventurous meander?"😁
Hope today's sun is a warm balm for your vibe my dear friend.
!PIZZA
!BBH
Aw, you're such a dear! I think I need an adventurous meander!
Well, just make it through this semester, and your month vacation, and we'll see where you are then. I am glad you had this brief down time.
Thanks so much! It really was the balm I needed at the end of a long race to get recharged for part 3,456 lol!
Seed starting soon?
!PIZZA
!BBH
March 1
$PIZZA slices delivered:
@generikat(2/15) tipped @goldenoakfarm
generikat tipped scribblingramma
Please vote for pizza.witness!