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Oh man.

Saves on TP also.

Shampoo the carpet every 6 months when it gets crunchy and good to go.

I like my carpet crunchy but that's because I'm a believer in marking one's territory

Ah yes got to respect a man who shits on his own coffee table. Most do it to others.

That is noble of you.

that's how you stain your woods, don't ya know?

Eat some beans first. Helps it to soak into the wood.

As long as it is not just for (target) practice.

Plus you can always soften the carpet up by pissing on it. Saves walking all the way to the bathroom especially when gaming and drinking beer.

this is the way

Always thinking about the efficiency of a system.