I spent the day at home with Smallsteps, just hanging out, talking and playing some games. We made some food together, she drew some pictures, practiced the piano, and after talking with @galenkp, she taught herself how to play Incy Wincy Spider by ear - in about 15 minutes. While that doesn't sound very impressive, she has only had two short lessons so far. She definitely has an ear for music, unlike her father.
We also played a "brain game" that she got for Christmas, which is a puzzle a bit like Tetris, where some pieces are given, and then the shape (a heart) gets built using the remaining pieces. I am not very good at these now, because my brain isn't good at moving the pieces around in my mind. However, Smallsteps is very good at it, so we were able to up the difficulty (less starting pieces) very quickly. She is playing at the expert level.
However, one interesting conversation came up today, that made me a little unsure about how to answer. We were talking about money, her allowance, and the value of work. Where for instance, I was saying that for what we give her, we could add a few more tasks to her list. This led into a discussion about the value of different jobs, and why some get paid more than others. Which also led into other discussions about skill differences and scarcity. But, none of this gave me concern, until she asked,
"How much do you earn Daddy?"
I have no problem discussing this with her, but I felt I should talk to her about how most people don't like talking about money, and some people even get upset about it. Of course, she didn't really understand why, but I tried to explain that most people have been told that it is bad to talk about money and how much people earn, because they use it to compare each other against, like it is a competition. This was enough for her to move on for now, but it is something we will have to continue with later.
I told her how much I earn.
This led to a discussion about the costs of things, but also what kinds of jobs and skills are necessary to earn. When we started playing the puzzle game, she at first wanted to give up after not being able to work one out in about 5 minutes, as the first ones had come so quickly. However, I asked her to be patient and keep trying, and the more she did so, the more she wanted to challenge herself. Later in the night and just before bed when she sat down at the piano, she then decided to see if she could work out the song, and note by note, mistake after mistake, until she got it, piece by piece.
Perseverance is not something I often see these days in children, but I believe that it is one of the things that sets people apart. Patience is of course one thing that is important, as is delaying gratification, but in order to actually have the skills to invest and to earn on, perseverance is required to build. To be good enough at something that someone is willing to pay for our service, we need to be better than most other people at it. We might not have to be close to the best in the world, but we need to be better than the average available.
But, it is more than earning potential, isn't it? We need to feel that we are okay at something, that we are improving, that we are adding some value, otherwise we feel that we are stagnating, going nowhere, losing. Overcoming challenge is winning. But, what we win at doesn't necessarily have to be anything great, so that is why so many people are content winning at a game that actually has no consequence on their lives, but fills that void of need for progression.
Gamification leverages our desire to progress.
We all want to win, but in order to feel it, we can adjust the goalposts to suit our skill, and our will. And, these days, there are so many ways to get that sense of accomplishment, without actually accomplishing anything at all. For instance, Smallsteps could decide to focus her life on excelling at the puzzle game and she could keep on winning, but it isn't likely to lead her very far. However, the concentration and logic skills she picks up while playing the game, applied to other tasks, could be valuable.
This is what games are for.
There is a difference between gamification and skill development through playing games, as they target different parts of our brain structure. Gamification looks to engage our desire to win, to progress, to compel us to keep going, even if we aren't actually progressing at all, because we aren't skill developing. Social media employs gamification that gives us those feel good dopamine hits, but what are we actually getting out of it that we can on-sell? The gamification is designed to hold our attention. However, playing games of skill will trigger those same parts in our brain, but they will do it through skill application and feedback. Something has to be done, an action performed that is targeted towards improving in the game. Gamification in for instance social media, doesn't require improvement, just repetition.
And I think this is something to be considered in respect to making money. If we are going to compare ourselves as to how much we earn, do we also compare ourselves on the skills we bring to the table? What about the impacts we make in our roles, in comparison to others? It is a far harder metric to calculate a lot of the time, because a lot of it seems subjective, but is it? Just because the numbers aren't available to "prove" impact and value, it doesn't mean that they don't exist.
But, similarly to not talking about money, skill value is something that we aren't willing to openly discuss, when it concerns ourselves. We can judge and compare sporting teams or players, we can judge the looks of models, and the abilities of actors, and we can discuss how much they earn openly - but who is willing to honestly do the same with their peers?
Not many.
At least, I will discuss openly with Smallsteps, even if I don't have the right answers. If for nothing more, than we have a lot of fun together having these discussions.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Posted Using InLeo Alpha
I think I told you before how I just about had to force eldest to stay in gymnastics for precisely that reason XD (things always came easy to him and I needed him to have something that he struggled with just so he'd learn to not give up because he didn't get it the first or second time, that was a decade ago now and he's still doing gymnnastics and loves challenging himself XD)
I think that's one of the at least subconscious reasons people put kids into activities like sports or music lessons.
I feel like there's some hypocrisy/double standards thing going on where people will happily judge/compare/criticise celebrities etc but when it's them or their friends the literal exact same thing is "don't judge me" and "toxic".
I think she gets all all talent and awesomeness from her uncle...
I do not know about this, in my native country is normal to talk about money and wages, while in the UK where I live is not a subject that people like to touch. It is a cultural thing, different from a country to another.
Yes, it can be cultural - it can also be in localized culture too. I wonder if it depends on the circle of peers, or the range in incomes?
In Romania, the bigger the wage, the more is boasted, we have no shame. :)
Oh, in Finnish, the word for a sweet bun is "Pulla" - every time one of my friends hears it (he is in the UK), he giggles, because he hears "Eating pula"
You know, that means Rain in Botswana, and they have the national anthem that is like Pula Pula Pula giving life. This is funny even in Finnish.
:D
I have a few Romanian friends - I know!
In fact, I don't like to talk about other people's salary as well as mine. After hearing it, it might also makes you feel bad or whom you talk :)
I always feel bad after discussing salaries :D
I know what I am good at and what I am not good at. I also know what my friends are good at and that helps out quite a bit! I prefer to be impressed by how skilled my friends are at their respective skills. I probably don't do the same with people who aren't close to me though. I can say for certain I compare myself to them like you said.
The small step is sharp and wise. Interesting story hope you enjoy your day
I think it's a good thing to be open about money to your kids, but I do agree that outside of close family, I think it's a bad idea. Everyone will be comparing themselves and it hurts when someone makes less.
Wow, she really is so advance. You should have given her some simple supply and demand info haha. Being able to play just by ear is awesome. I hope she continues learning and playing the piano.
Smallsteps is a very smart girl and that’s based on how you have trained her. She seem smarter than her age. Anyway, I sometimes like to hear about the salary of other people and that’s because it motivates me to work harder
Nice work Smallsteps! I also had a similar breakthrough as a kid learning piano. I really wanted to figure out how to play the opening theme song of The Simpsons on the piano, and this was before the modern marvel of the internet where I could just look up the sheet music on the internet. I spent hours going through the notes, trying different combinations of sharps and flats to find the right notes.
It was so rewarding for me to finally figure it out. I would play it everywhere and anywhere. I would tell the story how I just sounded it out from humming the melody. I still remember those notes to this day and it a favorite lil tune that I play. Always brings a smile to my face!
This is what keeps me going as a teacher. It certainly isn't the money. It is also a profession where I am constantly learning and constantly improving. I think this is what keeps bringing me back to the profession after leaving a few times in the past. I get to broaden my knowledge and skills everyday. People observe and give feedback. I build new relationships. It is very rewarding, even though it doesn't pay as much money as I would like.