I've experienced extreme collectivism and extreme individualism in different forms and I get why people really support both. I think we need a whole lot of both, and I don't think we are good at balancing them, so that's where I try to grow. In fact, I don't think wants or desires need to clash with other people, so rather than sacrificing my desires or needs, I always look for a win/win. If I can't find one, I make one.
I tend to give more towards the community. Until now, that always paid off nicely, so there is that balance between giving to the community and receiving as individual. It's intertwined, and not really easy to untangle. The better I am, the better for the community. The better the community is, the better for me. That's something that drives me towards building networks and community, too.
It's basically my philosophy too but I've lived in communal living spaces and spent all my time with the same community for months at a time and I found it was really to lose myself in the culture.
I started looking at people outside as OTHER, and losing my sense of what I truly wanted because I didn't want to be alienated by the group. I noticed everyone else was doing the same. So I guess you could say I'm a little wary of having too little individualism now. I also live in Japan and lived in China, very collective societies.
But I think everyone needs a community to be a part of and the fun is not in what you get but what you give. I think the community will benefit from you expressing your individualism in a healthy way because that's where people can learn new things and grow.
I guess I should say: I think we should all belong to 2 or 3 communities so we can all become bridges of understanding.
I've been thinking about the other for a long time now, the importance of it. How exposing ourselves to the difference, the otherness, is essential for us to function as a community. I don't think a conformist or uniform community works, but that the exposure to different thinking and other priority structure of values is very important to maintain the community. It makes it harder for a community to become an echo chamber, which in the end does separate it from other communities just as you say.
Maybe then human bridges wouldn't be needed. But that's kind of an utopia these days. For now, I'm happy every time I see people with opposing views having a civil and enriching discussion with each other. That alone is rare enough.