One of the things we all need to have in mind is that they are necessary preconditions for entering into a relationship. And, as far as I can tell, one of such preconditions is that the set of people in the relationship has to want the relationship to happen.
This is why all relationships are built on an existing uniting factor which fundamentally has so much to do with the willingness of each party to recognize the existence of the relationship and treat each other accordingly. If that's not the case, it will only create a series of relationships where one person is trying to nurture the relationship while the other is making a mess of it.
"And, what can I do if I find myself in that sorta relationship?
What if my family doesn't want anything good for me?
How can I cope with this?"
I can still recall the look on my friend's face when she asked this daunting question. I knew where she was coming from and the plain answer to her question will surely hurt. Nonetheless, I had to give her that answer. Better to feel the hurt now and get her life together than to be trapped in a pit just because she's trying to save a 'family relationship' with someone who doesn't see her as family.
In my years of interacting with folks, I've come to realize that so many people are trapped in a relationship that is consistently going downhill because the other party isn't up to any good. As far as I'm concerned, it's better to end a relationship if you are sure that the other party is only interested in messing it up. End it and use your energy to invest in other things. That's that!
That's a no-brainer, but It's never easy to make that call when we bring family relationships into the picture.
I've thought about this a lot because when it comes to the relationship between family, we do not usually have a say in deciding who would be our parents, siblings, cousins, and uncles. Some people find themselves in a family that is vicious towards one another and the family members hold contempt for each other.
This leads to situations where siblings would not want to treat each other as such. Family members would also treat each other like strangers and the whole family will be filled with enmity. Sadly, situations like this are our reality but make no mistake... It's happening. Some families are filled with so much feud, they have all forgotten what it's like to experience genuine family love.
"Mine is not too different either. The extended side of my paternal home is not a home. The feud over there is unreal."
The devil is in the detail, but I won't dive into that detail. The bottom line is that I have my fair share of experience in dealing with a family that would rather drag me to hell than allow me to pull them to heaven. I know what it's like and I know that trying to maintain a family relationship in its real sense will never work out as far as they are hell-bent on making me miserable.
The thing that has been fairly obvious in all these is that whenever I'm trying to build a relationship with someone and the person is more interested in making me feel miserable, the best thing I do is to stop trying. That doesn't sound like a lovely thing to do, but if you've been through the series of things I've experienced in life, you will find it easier to see the reason behind this decision.
It's as simple as offering something to someone and the person doesn't take it. Well, offer that to someone else. Someone else would take it and appreciate it.
When you are done reading this, feel free to share your thoughts about what you see as a good way to approach a relationship where the other party's actions and inactions are pulling you downhill.
Thanks For Not Missing Any Full-stop Or Comma
Thumbnail Image taken from Pixabay
We always talk about toxic relationships and we focus on friends or partners, but the point sometimes also includes family members, even our own parents.
Leaving toxic people should not be considered a problem, we could even walk away or keep our distance without cutting dealings with someone as this way we will be mature. Thank you for this wonderful post, greetings and happy day.
That's a valid observation. We often try to observe our friends and partners to know if any of them is toxic in the relationship we have with them, but we end up forgetting that even the family relationship we have with our parents, siblings, uncles, and aunties can also be filled with toxicity.
It is common to try and get the best out of every relationship, but if our effort is being shattered by those we are in a relationship with, stepping out of it would be the best option.
I like this position of yours because it is not worth it to keep us in toxic relationships that even include our family because many times we stop living our dreams for them and the sad thing is that sometimes it happens that they don't even value you.
Not to mention the couple relationships, drowning in a relationship where you are not valued and you only get bad treatment and unlove is for insane people.
It's so true and very relatable. When relationships become like a death trap, it's best to make an exit from it instead of tagging along. It usually doesn't end well for both parties.
@kenechukwu97, the HiQ Smart Bot has recognized your request (3/5) and will start the voting trail.
In addition, @kenechukwu97 gets !PIZZA from @hiq.redaktion.
For further questions, check out https://hiq-hive.com or join our Discord. And don't forget to vote HiQs fucking Witness! 😻
It's always the fathers side🤦.
I like the way you summarized everything. They say that you can force a horse to the stream but you can't force it to drink water. There are some people who just don't want to change irrespective of anything you do or say. You can try all you want but they don't budge. In such cases, it's better to save your energy for something else--something more lucrative.
Seriously, I don't know what it is with our paternal homes and weird relationships. It's always from that side of the family that you will see family members who hold eachother in contempt.
Life is full of experiencs and mind has taught me that it's best to channel my energy into places where it will be appreciated. I can't keep up trying to save a relationship with someone who is already in an incorrigible path.
We just have to heed life's lessons and move on.
!hiqvote
@kenechukwu97, the HiQ Smart Bot has recognized your request (1/5) and will start the voting trail.
In addition, @kenechukwu97 gets !LOL from @hiq.redaktion.
For further questions, check out https://hiq-hive.com or join our Discord. And don't forget to vote HiQs fucking Witness! 😻
Please read the Creative-nonfiction prompt post to see that moralising from your own POV does not fit in with our community. Your post is not about your personal experiences because you don’t give us any examples. What you do give us is advice.
https://peakd.com/hive-170798/@theinkwell/creative-nonfiction-in-the-ink-well-prompt-18
Ooopsses. I slipped right there. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. It won't repeat itself again.
Thanks so much
View or trade
BEER.Hey @kenechukwu97, here is a little bit of
BEERfrom @pixresteemer for you. Enjoy it!Do you want to win SOME BEER together with your friends and draw the
BEERKING.Thanks
This is not a story as such, but a compilation of thoughts that would look great in another community.
It was also refreshing to read your thoughts concerning toxic and unhealthy relationships.
Yay! 🤗
Your content has been boosted with Ecency Points, by @nkemakonam89.
Use Ecency daily to boost your growth on platform!
Support Ecency
Vote for new Proposal
Delegate HP and earn more
Thank you ecency 👍
God doesn't give us what we can't bear, he makes a way of escape.
There are certain people we are also to avoid, despite being Christians..
Often I consider why Abraham took an oath with Eliezer to get his son a wife far from their home.
Relationships are deeper than the soul, God knows what he is doing and if you stay your heart on him, he can either use you to keep ppl from harm ,or heal them, it's not always for marriage, it's ours to discern our purpose for everyone we meet.
Wow... Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this.
In all fairness, I'm glad that this topic is generating this type of feedback. I've always know that things about Humanities can be filled with complexities.
!hiqvote
@kenechukwu97, the HiQ Smart Bot has recognized your request (1/5) and will start the voting trail.
In addition, @kenechukwu97 gets !LOL from @hiq.redaktion.
For further questions, check out https://hiq-hive.com or join our Discord. And don't forget to vote HiQs fucking Witness! 😻
lolztoken.com
You'll strain your voice.
Credit: reddit
@kenechukwu97, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @hiq.smartbot
(1/2)
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ
That's an interesting way to look at the situation and I genuinely appreciate getting your thoughts on this. I like how you allows approach things related to human Complexities. You give people benefit of doubt and that's a really good thing about you.
It's good to try and help, but there is a line we shouldn't cross when helping people. When you come in contact with someone that doesn't want to be helped, your effort will easily end up as a wasted effort because it takes willingness for our efforts to reflect on people.
Humans are really complex. In all these complexities, God's grace is what we all need so we can get to do our best in the right places. Hehe
!hiqvote
@kenechukwu97, the HiQ Smart Bot has recognized your request (4/5) and will start the voting trail.
In addition, @kenechukwu97 gets !LOL from @hiq.redaktion.
For further questions, check out https://hiq-hive.com or join our Discord. And don't forget to vote HiQs fucking Witness! 😻
That's a thoughtful approach to it.
The type of family I have in my paternal side are the ones who use the notion of 'family' as a weapon to cause mayhem. I invest so much in nurturing family relationship with my immediate family and any other member of my extended family. But whenever it comes to those who don't not want anything good for me, I can't be bothered to get involved with them. Hehe
!hiqvote
@kenechukwu97, the HiQ Smart Bot has recognized your request (5/5) and will start the voting trail.
In addition, @kenechukwu97 gets !PIZZA from @hiq.redaktion.
For further questions, check out https://hiq-hive.com or join our Discord. And don't forget to vote HiQs fucking Witness! 😻
Hahah... That's more relatable to my experience. I believe so much in demanding good behavior from those around especially when they are family. I do this because if they get their lives together, it always serves as a good thing for them and for the family at Large.
If someone in my family is doing things that ruins the good name of the family and the person doesn't want to stop it, he/she will surely lose the type of affection I will give to a genuine family member.
Some people are already in an incorrigible path and any attempt to help them fix their life will only lead to them wasting your time and then dragging you down with them.
It's a tough decision to do when family is involved, but like you said... Justice has to be served.
Haha... Thanks for not Missing any Full-stop Or Comma. And yep, all hands needs to be on deck, else, it will likely end with one person's time being wasted
!hiqvote
@kenechukwu97, the HiQ Smart Bot has recognized your request (3/5) and will start the voting trail.
In addition, @kenechukwu97 gets !PIZZA from @hiq.redaktion.
For further questions, check out https://hiq-hive.com or join our Discord. And don't forget to vote HiQs fucking Witness! 😻