When the revolutionary exploded, a young man was seen running towards the flames surrounding a jeep. He tried to pull the dying man out of the car that was about to explode.
"El-Commandante, el-commandante!" he shouted, pulling the pair of legs that were sticking out and struggling.
"Damm it, pull me, quick!" urged the man while coughing because his head was still in the puff of smoke.
"You're so stupid!" suddenly the man called El-Commandante rejected the chest of the young man who had just helped him so that the young man fell backwards against the ground, "you want to wait for me to die first then you will pull me from hell," he continued.
"I'm sorry, El-Commandante—," the young man nodded. He immediately stood up and put on the long robe belonging to the man he called El-Commandante and slightly patted the shoulder of the robe because it was a bit dusty from being hit by the ground.
"All right, done, done—, please," the man snapped,"—, I can put it on myself. Now, take me away from this damned place," he ordered.
Before their car overturned because it was hit by a grenade explosion from government troops, it seemed that the procession of the revolutionary troops was on the border between Vieninza and Thirdpoly village with the aim of heading east to take over one of the armory there, but in on the way they get invaded, and they're topsy-turvy.
"We have been abandoned by the troops, El-Commandante," the young man tried to explain.
"What do you mean?"
"All our troops—, they lost and surrendered."
The man called El-Commandate was furious to hear that. He did not accept the young man's statement and began to pull his gun from its holster and started walking.
"Where are you going, El-Commandante?"
"I will repay them."
Seeing the man's behavior, the young man immediately restrained him. However, the man called El-Commandante told his loyal guard not to get in his way, and they struggled like children in the dark until both of them were tired of each other.
A few moments later, when everything had calmed down, and the man called El-Commandante also seemed to have come to terms with the fact that it was now only the two of them, the young man got up. The brow of the man who was called El-Commandante immediately frowned.
Even though he grumbled, the man called El-Commandante was forced to follow the young man from behind. They passed a long embankment made of earth, and it was clear that the strange place was a vast area of rice fields because the moon was completely round and seemed very close, until they broke through the thickets to avoid the government troops that were heading towards them there.
In the distance, the sound of a dog howling was heard in the darkness, but both the young man and the man called El-Commandante knew that about 500 meters to their left, behind the rice fields they had left behind, were government troops who are chasing.
"If we walk a mile to our right at this point, I think we'll find the nearest village, and it's likely to be Yournex village. The village I was born in," said the young man.
The man called El-Commandante did not answer. He is now squatting with his hands holding his stomach while his mouth keeps spitting out something.
"El-Commandante?!"
"Oh my, El-Commandante, your cloak!
Under the moonlight, the young man could see that the green shirt of the man he called El-Commandante was wet and blackened. "Damn it, I also just realized that I got hit by a splinter from the grenade earlier—" the man complained, while the young man supported him.
"You cannot walk, El-Commandante, let me carry you. My village is not far away," the young man pleaded.
The man who was called El-Commandante was silent, but he gave a signal asking the young man to be quiet. He stayed there for five minutes, but a moment later he got up after taking a deep breath, and seeing that, the young man got up too, however:
"You go first, son. The soldiers are approaching. Hear their footsteps, I can feel it. They are above the rice fields earlier. They are very close," he said.
"What do you mean, El-Commandante!?"
"You heard it earlier, you idiot!" the man called El-Commandante looked annoyed, "son, don't be melancholic and full of drama, I'm still Rey de la selva aka the king of the jungle*."
Then, with unwilling, the young man began to run and jump into the swamp. A moment later, everything was clearly visible by the light of the moon.
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Your story was quite interesting, but I'll tell you what I really like about your story, I love how you kept saying "the man called El-commandante" lol
Yo-ho, thanks...
The tension of the battlefield, the quiet heroism and fatalism, is something you capture well sometimes in you stories, as you do here. You create a scene and atmosphere that place readers in the rice fields with the two soldiers. Well done.
Thank you for sharing this well-crafted story with the Ink Well community. We appreciate your meaningful engagement with other writers.
Thank you for curating my story. It is very valuable. And thanks for catching things that even the author himself often misses @theinkwell.
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Lol, I loved the chemistry between the young man and El-Commandante. It was quite humorous.
Also, ever heard of a pronoun?... Haha just kidding I loved the thing you did with the constant use of the name El- Commandante. I laughed every time I read it!
However, I fear that my brain will find it very hard to forget the name El- Commandante now. I might just have to name my first born El- Commandante now.... Thanks :)
Great story bud!
Thank you for your very attentive and enthusiastic comment. I became even more enthusiastic about writing "the man called El-Commandante", especially when you are planning to name your first child El-Commandante. Congratulations, you only need to add Marcos after the name so that it becomes Subcommandante Marcos.
Haha... it's my pleasure. Marco huh?... that's actually a very good idea! We'll see how it goes..