As an addict I can sympathize with your father's plight. As a father I can feel the turmoil and distress in the words you have written. Your heart and soul were stitched into every syllable.
I, like you. Most likely live in a world of grief. A world that once held color now so bitter and cold, frozen from the saturations of hues. Because now there is a hole within your heart, your soul.
You feel like a good failure. If I would have only done this or that. Maybe he'd still be here, maybe you'd be able to prolong his life.
But it sounds to me like an he died when your mother left. He tried his best but the pain was just to surreal. (I can only hope and pray that your ok.)
With my tortured heart and soul, and knowing the pain of of loss. Both yours and his. My heart pounds for you. For I miss my darling son, oh so much. And his mother god bless her, we split and idk if she's ok or not. But I hope she is.
Please take care of yourself, and live your life to the fullest. Because I am positive that's what will make your father smile down on you from the heavens, the most.
I lost my son about 3 years ago...and my cousin died two feet away from me around three months later. I watched him bleed to death, while I was trapped inside a car, the steering wheel had pinned me into the driver's seat. It was a horrific experience...
So yes, I'd say I have experienced the pain of loss portion of your story.
But what stood out even more to me was the addiction portion.
I'm an ex heroin and meth user, so I know about addiction. Probably to well, I have been clean(sober.) For about three years. Still battling with my addiction to cigarettes.
But hey, I guess as long as I'm off those vile toxins I'm doing pretty good.
This vignette of lives ruined by despair is very intense, @ubani1. Sometimes I think there are basically two types of people in the world — those who will carry on and persevere no matter what, and those whose lives can be torn apart by the tough stuff life throws at us.
Fortunately, I think the narrator is the first type. While she couldn't save her father, she showed incredible strength in dealing with his depression and bad habits. It bodes well for her to be able to move on with her life and find peace and happiness.
This is another story that shows that a wrong choice cannot be solved with another wrong choice.
The wife left, that's a sad thing for the man. I understand that much. But the man should have found solace in the fact that he had someone to take care of. He should have considered looking after his child, but he didn't.
Well well well, it was a sad ending for both the man and his child. Addictions kills.
This is a well-realized story, @ubani. You have a strong narrative arc and strong character development. Thank you for sharing the story with the Ink Well community. We very much appreciate the strong support you show to your fellow writers.
Hello @ubani1,
First of all, I'm impressed with your adoption of a female voice. It's good to stretch our writing muscles and imagine we are someone different from ourselves.
Also, I think you did a really good job of fleshing out the characters here. The father has given up on his own life, and on raising his child. But the child cannot give up on the father.
In the end, the child is alone"in a white hospital". That's a great image. White is the color of absence. The father is gone and the child is feeling the loss acutely.
Addiction to cigarettes is hard to stop but it doesn't mean it's impossible. The cigarette is where he thinks his comfort zone. He enjoys himself through that bubbling smokes floating in the air. Even so, it's dangerous and I'm sure your story gives so many lessons that a reader can have. This type of story is like a wake-up call for someone who is still enjoying the fun of playing the smokes.
Such a touching story, at times people tend to find solace in the wrong things during grief. This ultimately leads to pain for both the person and their loved ones
As an addict I can sympathize with your father's plight. As a father I can feel the turmoil and distress in the words you have written. Your heart and soul were stitched into every syllable.
I, like you. Most likely live in a world of grief. A world that once held color now so bitter and cold, frozen from the saturations of hues. Because now there is a hole within your heart, your soul.
You feel like a good failure. If I would have only done this or that. Maybe he'd still be here, maybe you'd be able to prolong his life.
But it sounds to me like an he died when your mother left. He tried his best but the pain was just to surreal. (I can only hope and pray that your ok.)
With my tortured heart and soul, and knowing the pain of of loss. Both yours and his. My heart pounds for you. For I miss my darling son, oh so much. And his mother god bless her, we split and idk if she's ok or not. But I hope she is.
Please take care of yourself, and live your life to the fullest. Because I am positive that's what will make your father smile down on you from the heavens, the most.
I lost my son about 3 years ago...and my cousin died two feet away from me around three months later. I watched him bleed to death, while I was trapped inside a car, the steering wheel had pinned me into the driver's seat. It was a horrific experience...
So yes, I'd say I have experienced the pain of loss portion of your story.
But what stood out even more to me was the addiction portion.
I'm an ex heroin and meth user, so I know about addiction. Probably to well, I have been clean(sober.) For about three years. Still battling with my addiction to cigarettes.
But hey, I guess as long as I'm off those vile toxins I'm doing pretty good.
This vignette of lives ruined by despair is very intense, @ubani1. Sometimes I think there are basically two types of people in the world — those who will carry on and persevere no matter what, and those whose lives can be torn apart by the tough stuff life throws at us.
Fortunately, I think the narrator is the first type. While she couldn't save her father, she showed incredible strength in dealing with his depression and bad habits. It bodes well for her to be able to move on with her life and find peace and happiness.
Thanks for sharing your work in The Ink Well!
This is another story that shows that a wrong choice cannot be solved with another wrong choice.
The wife left, that's a sad thing for the man. I understand that much. But the man should have found solace in the fact that he had someone to take care of. He should have considered looking after his child, but he didn't.
Well well well, it was a sad ending for both the man and his child. Addictions kills.
Hi @kenechukwu97. Thanks for stopping by The Ink Well and for supporting @ubani1!
This is a well-realized story, @ubani. You have a strong narrative arc and strong character development. Thank you for sharing the story with the Ink Well community. We very much appreciate the strong support you show to your fellow writers.
Hello @ubani1,
First of all, I'm impressed with your adoption of a female voice. It's good to stretch our writing muscles and imagine we are someone different from ourselves.
Also, I think you did a really good job of fleshing out the characters here. The father has given up on his own life, and on raising his child. But the child cannot give up on the father.
In the end, the child is alone"in a white hospital". That's a great image. White is the color of absence. The father is gone and the child is feeling the loss acutely.
Good story, @ubani1
Addiction to cigarettes is hard to stop but it doesn't mean it's impossible. The cigarette is where he thinks his comfort zone. He enjoys himself through that bubbling smokes floating in the air. Even so, it's dangerous and I'm sure your story gives so many lessons that a reader can have. This type of story is like a wake-up call for someone who is still enjoying the fun of playing the smokes.
Nice read.
Such a touching story, at times people tend to find solace in the wrong things during grief. This ultimately leads to pain for both the person and their loved ones
Great story