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RE: That Thirsty Soul

in The Ink Well4 years ago

Hi @rayt2, what a thrilling horror story. I love it!

But I highly suggest editing this line:

Her body was lying mutilated on the bank of the river.
Such description falls into the "gory" category.

Thanks for your understanding.

That said, would you say she's maybe in some parallel reality now? Or is it some other girl? 🤔

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 4 years ago  Reveal Comment

@rayt2, I'd say you could've ended it with "Her body was lying on the bank of the river." Just without the "mutilation" thing.

Would fit better that way than what you just did in my opinion.

 4 years ago  Reveal Comment