Continual improvement

in OCD4 years ago (edited)

I met with a friend on the weekend, she is busy preparing for her wedding. She's not the bridezilla type but she is stressed, panicked and a little out of control.

I managed to steer the conversation away from the wedding fortunately; Not because I'm disinterested, just because I think she would benefit from an hour or two of not thinking about it.

Later, I was thinking about how people over complicate their lives by trying to control every aspect, to create perfection in a world where perfection simply doesn't exist. Aiming for perfection is likely to bring nothing but disappointment. This is certainly true when trying to control something that is outside of a person's ability to control; Weather on a wedding day for instance.

It's just my humble opinion, but I feel it may be more advantageous to aim at making things as best as one can and not placing the pressure of perfection upon them. It leaves room for error, a margin for mistakes and the ability for a person to accept the circumstances as they present themselves; A contentment of sorts whether things went exactly to plan or not. Life is difficult to control and attempting to control that which is beyond our ability seems futile; Especially the weather on ones wedding day.

I understand that some say seek perfection and if one doesn't attain it excellence is achieved but I disagree. If anything, continual improvement is what someone should seek to achieve, not perfection.

My friend has a long way to go, the wedding is in April, and I hope she manages to control her stress and worry along the way. It's the best we can all hope I suppose; That we control the stress and worry throughout life and live it the best we can. It may not be perfect, but will be more enjoyable if we can do so.

Pursuing perfection will most often impede improvement.

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Yes this is definitely something that more people need to understand. We can't have perfection in everything! I've built my life around having a margin of disappointment in there for when things don't go according to plan, because they often do.

My wife has been getting more used to this way over the years, she originally was an absolute perfectionist but I've worn her down lol she is a lot better at taking the modifications as they come in some scenarios.

I would never expect someone to try less, but to seek continual improvement rather than perfection is preferable I think. Disappointment through failure to attain an unattainable goal is unproductive. One way to acclimatise your wife to non-perfection is to make loads of mistakes. Mess up a lot. It's sure to have her reduce her expectations pretty quickly. Lol.

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate it greatly.

Hahah the times I've messed up were when things were supposed to count. I generally am able to do things well but it's not an exact science. She's thankfully, over time, come to accept it as part of my quirkiness that we all have.

Most recent 'oops' was me breaking the washing machine by overloading it too much lol my bad!

Oh yes, it seems like you're very well-versed in the oops scenario. I hope the episode with the washing machine ended well, with a repair bill I would assume though.

Yeah lol I’ve had my oops scenarios for sure.

I didn’t have a repair bill, thanks to being able to fix things mostly on my own.

https://peakd.com/hive-174578/@cmplxty/diy-washing-machine-repair-part-2

That’s the link to the 2 part series, the first one is included in it. I’ll leave you to find the result of the repair job!

I had look and it seems your misfortune has turned into an opportunity to learn and develop personally and build some skills. A win win.

Best that you keep away from the washing in the future though, it seems not to be your calling. 😂