You are a workaholic! Get some rest! You don't pay attention to me! You don't have my time! You are always busy! Do you even love me?
Those statements are the summary of my life lately. I get texts like that almost on a daily basis. And you can guess who those texts come from right? Yes! my girlfriend, and everyone that I've a certain level of relationship with.
It hurts me that their words are correct and true. And each time the discussion comes up, I apologize and promise to do better. But it has been so difficult for me to keep up. And it's difficult for them to understand me.
In 2017, after I graduated from college, I knew my life had taken a new turn. Prior to my graduation from college, I've had everything provided for me by my parents. In essence, I was carefree about life as I didn't need to work. During that time, it was easy for me to keep up with the little friends I had.
Graduating from college meant that financial supply/support had been cut. And no, this isn't a deliberate move by parents, rather it's the mentality that we grew into. Especially for the male child. As soon as I left school, I knew it was time for me to start being responsible for myself. And that's how my pursuit for success started.
Since the end of 2017, up until today, I've been putting in serious deliberate work, to ensure that I become successful. But in my quest for success, I've lost some friends and faltered on several relationships; much to my displeasure. I hope they'll understand me, but they don't.
I've tried several times to strike a balance between working and holding onto relationships. Getting back to work always gets the stronger pull. I've been doing my best so far, but this year has been hard, and these past few months have been the worst.
Lately, I've seem to lose all my interest in having conversations. I don't fancy calling, I don't fancy texting. It's been work! work! work! It's like that Rihanna's song is stuck in my head.
The question from all I've said so far is;
Why Am I so much effort into working?
Well, the answer is simple; I don't receive financial support from anywhere or anyone. If I become broke and a failure today, the blame will be on me for not putting in good work. I don't want that to happen to me. So instead of spending time engaging in random conversations, I'd rather be putting that time into achieving something.
With all I've said so far, it'd seem as though I don't keep relationships. Well, I do, I keep relationships that are vital and valuable towards my growth as a human, and consequently my finance. And at this juncture, I'll be specific about the type of relationship I have been referring to. It's simply romantic relationships!
Romantic relationships, or should I say relationships with emotions; are hard for me keep up with lately. I can't deal with all the attention that a girl wants. And they want it so badly. I thought the scheme of things would be different with a lady who's committed to working like I do. I was wrong!
It hurts that I can't commit to spending tangible time with someone I claim I'm in love with. I've tried, but it's just so difficult. So beyond writing all these for the purpose of sharing, it'd be great if I was offered solutions. I'd love to learn how to balance work and being in a relationship. I'm sincerely tired of losing out on amazing women, I've met in my life.
So this is S.O.S. Help me stay focused with work and also be committed to a relationship. HELP!!!
You need to find a WHY, the reason why you apply a little balance. What you're doing will not end well...Take it from someone who did the same thing before learning otherwise.
You're spreading yourself too thinly in only one area of your life...There are other aspects and each are as important as the next; One supports the other. I see some excellent advice in another comment here and feel that the fact you're asking for help shows you know that what you are doing is not leading to a place of happiness and fulfilment.
I'm happy to discuss some concepts that helped me, drop me a line if you like.
All the best cobber.
(Aussie slang for companion/friend/mate.)
Thanks for your comment.
I'd love to know those concepts.