Although it was Sunday afternoon I attended the messages I got. I usually don't respond to work-related inquiries during the weekend, I have enough of it between Monday and Friday. But it was a friend of mine who first gave me a call and asked for a favour, could I listen to those few videos he sent me and give my opinion about the 14 years old girl playing the piano? I was on the couch anyway, trying to do nothing (it can happen?) and waiting for the positive results that the pain relief cream would give me. A thin layer of that cream was applied to my neck and back but the scent of it was quite strong.
So, I was listening to one composition by Grieg, then Mozart's Turkish March and one Prelude and Fugue (in C minor) composed by Johann Sebastian Bach, all in the interpretation of that young blond pianist, recorded at their home. It was funny that the first thing I saw was a big crystal vase on the top of the piano. I almost freaked out as I know that having items on the top or a shiny upright piano is not a good idea. They can fall from the vibration that the strings are producing. Just believe me. About her playing... I saw a lot of work, dedication, and attention. I recognised a lot of discipline. What I lacked were more dynamic details, softness, freedom and sensitivity. However, she had very good bases, she just needs to grow in expression.
Almost at the same time a student wrote. It was just a short message "Maestra! Look, this is my next piano" and a few photos of a beautiful Bluthner upright piano. The current piano owner (his cousin) is selling her house and will give the piano to my student. Being a family heritage from the grandfather is giving additional value to that instrument. There are some lucky people in the world :D
Nicely spent moments, the black and white keys never leaving me alone. Though it is somehow my choice. I mean the piano, not the neck aches. And what to do with the choice of a student of mine who decided not to participate in the end-of-year concert we celebrate every June? She is almost 17, she is not that small that I could push or in any way force her to play at the concert. When she stayed to talk to me for a few moments after the lesson about the issue, that she would not like to participate I gave her my moral support. Leaving her the freedom of choice but expressing my hopes that she would change her opinion and play at the end.
The mother was not so happy when I mentioned that. She wants her daughter to play. Understandable, as they are three siblings coming to the lesson, the last one I give on Friday late evening. It is an enjoyable hour with the three of them as they are hardworking, very well-educated and disciplined! Each of them learned the piece they are supposed to perform in June and also the trio, a composition for six hands. Seeing two children and not the third one on the stage would disappoint the mother, I know.
As a mother, I would talk to my child until I get her/him to play on the stage. As a teacher, I will also talk to her trying to encourage but I need to know the reason why she is refusing to participate. If it is fear of the stage, of people, insecurity, shyness, laziness, spite, boredom or else that led her to the idea of giving up (she is not giving up on the lessons, she comes and practices but just the concert is what she wants to avoid). Of course, I had a lot of cases already, we always solved them in one or another way. There are other students that will not play at the event, respecting their choice and the parents agree with it. Then it is all good. But now the parent wants one thing, the child (student) another and maybe it is supposed that I as a teacher find a solution that would please both of them.
There is still time to decide, and maybe this Friday she will come already with a different opinion. The teenage years are complicated sometimes, emotionally, that's why I try to understand her but that six-hand composition would definitely not sound well without her part. I can play her part, no problem, but I guess it's not me who the mother wants to see on the stage ;)
If you would be the teacher of this student, would you force try to inspire her to participate? How? If you would be the parent of this girl, would you force encourage her to participate? How? What would be the measures?
I have no idea how to make her change her mind. What's more... I am more on her side as I absolutely hated all the events and stage. Making her play, if she really doesn't wants to participate in that part will take the joy of playing piano eventually.
Classes, playing, learning - all good.
Concerts - no no... Though I did participate in all of them, I hated every single one :P
I would just agree with Ew on this one [avoiding spamming]
Wait, Ew plays piano too?
Yes, she does ;)
{seeing in my mind now @ewkaw practising one study by H. Ravina 😉🎶)
So you didn't have a teacher that could allow you to choose wether to play or not at a concert? I think everything was strict when we were young, or it is just my feeling? We were not asked for our opinion. Go, play and survive :D
I know what you felt, my older niece went through the same path. Practiced a lot but the performances on the stage were a nightmare for her.
I am also in favour of the girl in this case, but I have to understand the mother's angle too. Three children, all perfectly good in everything and suddenly one just doesn't want to play.
I don't remember if I had the option not to play - everyone played.
Yea, I think it was stricter and maybe kids had more respect for teachers than they do now.
Totally get it.
Yes, that's the thing - everyone played. We were not asked (at least on my side)
Tal vez la amenazaría con cortarle los dedos o hacerla besar una rana... Estoy segura que participaría sin chistar 🤣😂
Jajaja, amenazas perfectas 😂
Jokes apart...
Here what I see very difficult is the little time left for that end of course event. And she can either be rebellious or simply have stage fright. I think you have little time left for you to get her to actually tell you what her problem is.
For your part, what you can do for the moment is to try to get her to feel confident and talk to her in that way, between cabbage and cabbage, about your experiences on stage. With a touch of humour, as you know how to do, so that she doesn't feel that this is the worst thing in the world, rather you should approach it in terms of how you enjoy it and the things that can happen, but that with full confidence in what you do it becomes something worth remembering, part of your history as a pianist.
What a nice mipiano. Maestra, you can do it. You are going to see that you will work it out.
Solo haz que ella sienta confianza en su ejecución. No la fuerces. Deja que fluya... como el agua.
Btw, esto me ha gustado tanto...
But I would like you to explain more about what you mean by "she just needs to grow in expression".
Imagino que te refieres a softness, freedom and sensitivity.
Lindo día, mipiano. Lo mejor de mis mañanas es encontrarme una notificación de que mipiano made new post... 😋
She is shy, that's why I think it is a bit difficult to reach the real reason. Though she knows me well, she went with my son to the same class when they were in elementary school and usually students reveal to me many things the parents don't imagine the children would say. But we will see if she wants to stick to her idea of not playing. It's a task to find out the reason and try to encourage and it depends on how we approach the issue... you are right, own example and through a friendly tone. That's how I anyway talk to them. We will see, dejarla fluir con lo suyo o traer ranas 😂
You liked the vase or the paragraph? As if the vase haha, things indeed fall down and usually when you don't expect it 😆
She needs to grow in expression - as she stayed in those videos just focused on the technical side and not expressing the dynamic nuances. Yes, you got it right what I wanted to say. ;)
Esas notificaciones existen?
I hope you have a lindo día también y con menos tos. Fingers crossed! 🤞
😂 Both...
Claro que existen, 😄 ¿sigues perdida en Tokyo? porque yo no he podido salir de allí.
Me mantienes al tanto, no puedo perderme lo de las ranas.
Yo no sé qué pasó con mi día de hoy (son las 23:40 aquí) se me fue por algún tragante, no sé. Y me acordé ahora que no he cenado. Solo almorcé sopa.
Sounds like she obviously respects you a lot as her teacher and loves playing the piano.
Maybe she doesn't want to play because her mum wants her to. Some kids are rebellious like that, and as her piano teacher you're in the best position to understand what's going on. Hopefully she will open up to you
They are well-educated and indeed respectful. If I say they are Chinese, you will perfectly understand to what level they are hardworking and how much they practice. They are outstanding in other subjects too, with all the best grades.
She talked to me about it very quietly, well, she is shy in general but I tried to ask if it was fear? Does she feel shy on the stage? Does she want a different piece to play? Is she stressed about other things? She just didn't know (or didn't want to) reveal to me the real reason. That is what I have to find out. The mother seemed determined to get her play and not let her siblings down.
I also hope she can say me the real reason, so we all together can find a solution :)) The concert is in 4 weeks.
How nice to read you and about your students, I remembered when I had my own, although it wasn't about music.
In any place, teacher or mother, first you should know what is the reason why you don't want to participate, dialogue is always very good. Knowing what the hidden fears are gives me an idea of how to approach the subject and be able to help.
In any case, participation is always good, it overcomes fears and makes everyone stronger and more self-confident.
A big hug @mipiano ❤️
Being a teacher is a responsible task, many times challenging but also gives a lot of satisfaction, right? ;)
Yes, we need to find out the real reason to be able to address this correctly. If is it fear from the stage and she can't control it, then I would not force her. But also there are techniques to fight the hidden fears.
Beautiful keys over there. That white piano is a thing taken out of an aesthetic dream.
It's tough to go through the reasons they don't wanna play. I think I'd just ask about it. Maybe the reason is that they like music but want to keep it as something private. One could argue that for some people these artistic endeavours are more private than anything else.
I understand the mother. She's paying for the lessons and want to see the results.
Tough call.
Nothing else to do as a teacher than trying to understand the students and their motivations.
The white piano (actually a bit yellowish in colour) is the piano in my classroom ;) Poor piano, every day hours and hours of work to him, all kind of students, good and not very good ones haha.
This can be solved just through dialogue, as we already started to talk but she is shy and doesn't really know the reason. Well, just she knows it but maybe doesn't want to say where the real issue is.
I suppose my teacher's work is not just showing the music :D It is much more psychology than it is thought.
A teacher's job is only 10% about the actual subject. Your goal is to build a rapport to make students comfortable to learn. They are the ones who are going to get something out of the whole deal. We just learn a bit about dealing with people and issues.
Maybe she'll tell, maybe not. That's part of the process.
Poor piano. It gets a lot of work and false notes too. 😂😂
Hahaha, funny but true.
The piano indeed gets a lot of nice but also false notes, that is also funny and true 😂
Jokes!
I've got them 😂😎
Getting on stage at any age is a crime against humanity, my solution two shots of vodka might work for her as well (she is almost18, maybe just one shot).
But indeed at that age..... the stage can feel very uncomfortable ...but it can be a 1000 other things as well. She needs to voice out first, so the right help can be provided if required. If she does not talk you can only support whatever she decides....is my humble opinion. But by the amount and length of some comments below you might have gotten better ones.
But I can give you great advise on neck aches:
I have those a lot and they trigger headaches not sure what cream you use but you really should try Balsamo de Tigre Rojo and make sure its the real one, not the red tiger ointment.
Two shots of vodka would be a solution for me right now...
Hahah, one for her, but no need anymore. She came last Friday with her mother with the decision - she will not play her soloist piece, but yes, the part of the 6 hands composition (trio)
Balsamo de Tigre, I had it but was it rojo or not I don't remember anymore. And thanks for the suggestion ;))
Now I have different ones, will show you in a min. (probably will edit the comment to put the photo, sorry in advance for that)
So, the promised edit:
Maybe these are not strong enough
Well maybe bring the vodka just in case and that Star balm looks promising is that hot or cold heat. Because from the Tiger the red one is hot and the white one is cold. Cold is great for headaches but my neck needs the hot stuff !LOLZ
lolztoken.com
That was a very fuelish thing to do.
Credit: reddit
@mipiano, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @whywhy
(1/1)
Yeah, hot is good 😅.
I have a "saco de semillas" that I heat up and put on my neck.
¿Sabes qué es lindo? Que al principio de la historia parece ser, de alguna manera, algo amarga o un poco complicada. Y lo digo por la manera en cómo debes y sueles desconectarte de tu trabajo de la semana durante los fines de semana. Sin embargo, mejora y bastante, muchísimo diría yo. Hasta el punto en que es conmovedora, preciosa ¿Puedes llegar a imaginar la felicidad de tu estudiante con su nuevo piano? Uf, cuánta emoción. Y que dicha que a ti te toque ser su maestra. Un abrazo, @mipiano, de corazón; grandeee.
Esto es lo bonito de las historias, si llevan a las direcciones inesperadas ;)
El alumno está emocionado por ver el piano que le va a llegar. Yo también tocaré en ese instrumento porque le doy las clases en su hogar. Ahora tiene un piano digital, pero el acústico será otra cosa.
No tengas dudas. La inmensa alegría e ilusión que él alberga, debe ser de locos. Qué hermosa historia. Conmovedora, inspiradora.
As always, your lines are pleasant, everyday, exquisitely fluid... It almost seems like listening to you think those things...
It's funny, last week I know my sister's mother-in-law (whose husband recently died) gave away her grand piano (the piano belonged to the husband who died, I say) to a family whose youngest son went on weekends to play the piano... This due he did not have one nor could his family afford to buy one... Apparently Mr. Marcos (that was his name) left in writing that this piano would be for that boy. The piano had been in the family for 3 generations according to what my brother-in-law told me, but neither he nor any of his four brothers ever learned to play the piano (or any instrument)... So, as you say, there are people with good luck! ... :)
Regarding the 17-year-old girl (your pupil) who doesn't want to participate in the concert... Imagine, she's practically an adult!... It's going to be hard to make her change her mind!... In fact, I It seems that only she can... When I was 16, I didn't go to my high school graduation ceremony simply because "that day I didn't want to see anyone" (it usually happens to me... "bipolarity", you know)... The half of my classmates came to my house but they couldn't make me leave... Sometimes "we just don't want to!... I mean, from my personal point of view, of course... :))
I hope you continue well and your pain is over, it seems to be due to emotional tension or lack of rest... You have to relax!... ;)
Have a "super excellent week" and thank you very much for sharing @mipiano friend!... I send hugs!
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Hey, thank you @jlinaresp por este comentario con tanta historia. Wow, a grand piano!! The boy will have good use of it, as if he was already going there just to practice, making an effort to go and play. How cool story about the piano, but my condolences for the departure of Mr Marcos.
Yeah, I know, she is almost an adult. But just almost haha.
I sometimes joke with my son that he has to listen to me as he is still not 18 and until he lives with us he has to listen to us (hahaha, not always lol) . btw, he is the same age as that girl, they even went to the same class in elementary school.
Hahahahaha
😂😂😂😂😂
No, the pain didn't go away, it is even spreading... now the shoulders are killing me too. No real rest until the end of June (sigh) Ya estoy tomando analgésicos, pongo sacos de semillas calentitas, cremas para aliviar el dolor... But, a super excellent and full week is in front of us, so let's go and face it with a smile 😊
Without knowing what her reservations are it is difficult to promulgate (WOW....what a word) a possible solution. My feeling is it is actually between her and her mother and of course the teacher enforces the fact that she is capable of doing herself proud. Yes, I know, simple words.... life is always more complicated !
Yep, sometimes it is more complicated, or we just see it that way. I would let her, respect her choice and just find a solution for the trio, but then I saw the mother's desire to see her daughter playing at the concert...
hehe, indeed. Thanks for bringing it 😉
How could you?😱 Any rakija at your hand, you know that cures anything...😂
No, the rakija evaporated from the bottle, believe me. 😱 I think it was not closed well and really, it evaporated. (casna rec)
But, I had Gorki List (as an aperitif) before the fish stew ;)
Oh! What a crime!!! 😱
Now I know what opens your appetite 🤣
Now you know 😄
(upravo dolazim iz kuhinje - ponoc je... ali sta sad, bila sam gladna, vecera me nije zasitila haha. ah, i kao za kaznu posekla sam prst na noz)
Nisi palila svetlo, u mraku jedeš da nikonje vidi? :D
[nadam se da nije strašno i da možeš svirati]
😂 Istina!!!
Nije strasno 😇
Hhahahahah!
Querida amiga tengo un nuevo amigo un señor invidente, el es músico. Toca la guitarra, el laúd y el piano. Primero primero fue afinador de pianos. Hace mucho tiempo no tocaba el piano porque no tiene. Este fin de semana lo llevé a una actividad cultural sobre la trova. Yo iba cómo su Lazarillo guiándolo. Antes de empezar descubrí en una esquina del salón un piano que no se iba a usar en la actividad. Le dije quieres palparlo, acariciarlo, tocarlo y muy emocionado fue hasta allí. Lo destapamos y comenzó a tocar casi le saltaban lágrimas de emoción y el auditorio que esperaba otra cosa se emocionó con su música. Enseguida me acordé de ti. En una rato voy a escribir esta historia.
Que bonito, estoy segurísima que fue muy emocionante! Espero ver pronto tu historia, aunque me tendré que ir a descansar en breve. Miraré en tu blog mañana si has publicado esta historia 🎶 Gracias por acordarte de mi 😇
So without knowing some background it is difficult to express an opinion. Now children, especially teenagers are under various pressures both in school and in normal life.
These pressures may shake their self-confidence and undermine all the sacrifices made so far.
I would investigate, if I were a parent in consultation with the teacher what might have been the trigger for this rejection.
Very often young people make rash decisions only as a plea for help, and instead parents see it as an affront to the pecking order.
Depending on this I would talk to the parents and by no means force the girl, rather I would try to find some complicity in order to find the reason for the refusal.
True, time is short, but in some cases it is better to miss an essay and see the person happy to continue on the artistic path, than for an act of pure selfishness to see her on stage and then "cry" when, feeling defrauded of her own space, (this decision could be a sign of it) she will stop playing just out of spite.
You are completely right about that pressure that can shake their self-confidence. Also, I think that maybe I should talk with the mother, just two of us without the girl, so she doesn't feel under pressure. Anyhow, it will not be the end of the world if she skips this performance. What is more important is that she feels good playing the piano 😇🎶
Thank you so much for your comment @mikezillo
Yeah it's sad for your part as well as to the part of the mother but knowing the reason why is the first thing to do.
If she honestly tell the reason and if it is fear or shy then we can give her a message of encouragement that she can do that. But if she persist not to join its also difficult to force someone because at the end she might not perform well. It is better to perform with and open heart, this is just my idea.
I do hope she would open up or I could reach her and find out the reason. But if she keeps on with her idea of skipping the concert this year, then it's better not to force it. 😇🎶
Yes don't force because she might not perform well because it is against her will.
I hope for the success of your concert soon.
Beautiful sharing, dear @mipiano - yes, a wonderful rich dilemma: mmmm - I would certainly try to negotiate, and to offer insight into the rewards of having achieved a performance. As a teenager, I really wanted to perform on stage, but the actual doing of it, at the last minute, had me in a state of extreme anxiety - and the acting didn't feel good at all, like I had expected it to. Still, the feeling of coming off stage, of having been involved in this ritual with the other students, it had a certain gravity and interal reward, which ultimately benefited me a lot later on.
I hope your student enjoys performing more... but sympathise at the same time: I've removed my Art. from the world in the past years, as it felt like folks were just not seeing it, and I felt like I needed to be in silence and solutide for a while. Not everyone is a performer or an extrovert, but yes, the presumption in the past was that we had to toughen up and be more confident externally. Maybe an alternative to performing on stage, would be to record and publish something in a different way, which might reach the same kind of audience? A video performance?
😇
Hi there @clareartista
I completely get your experience, anxiety before the performance and the feeling of internal reward after it. After the concert I many times can't sleep because of the high adrenaline.
And thank you for the suggestion, but it is just a live performance and there is no means to play that video at the concert. We tried with video recordings instead of a live concert in 2020 when gatherings were not allowed, but it didn't work out how it was planned.
Thank you so much for sharing with us your experience 😇
I understand teenagers can be so emotional but at the same time, as the teacher, once you know the source of the problem, you can find a solution to it from there. Find a cute and interesting way to make her pour her heart out to you, it might help you know her reasons. As her mother, I'd keep reminding her of the joy and excitement she'd feel on the stage playing alongside her siblings and also how much of a joy and pride she is to her mother. I think that should help.....
While she is this shy it will be difficult to make her pour out her heart... but I do hope that she will reveal the real reason, somehow. Or not, if she doesn't feel it.
The mother, yes, I think she is now reminding her about that, well, we will see this Friday if the week made her think differently. Thank you for your comment, I appreciate your insight 😇☀️
I'm really hopeful she changes her mind to participate with her siblings.
You're much welcome
If i am the teacher i will first try to know the reason why she decided not to participate because the student can't just come up with a talk of not playing without a reason. And if i was the mother, i will just try to be giving her sweet words everytime so this might serves as motivation and encouragement for her to change her mind and participate
You are right, that is what we have to find out first, the reason. The solution will somehow come later, through correct encouragement. Thank you @mayorkeys 😇
Yes exactly
There must be some places where a person has to work because there is such a good greeting of a person and it has been for so long that you can't stop your friend from talking.
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