Fading into the shadows

in Photography Lovers3 years ago

With no travel to new places for work and a lot of work at home, I haven't taken many photos of late, so I sometimes look back at some of my older stuff and see if I can play around with it a bit. I have been editing on my phone using Lightroom mobile, which is limited, but pretty good considering.


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Supposedly, pictures of people are more attractive than of other things, but I don't have that many "random" pictures of strangers. I do have a few of my family however and I like using pictures of them in my posts in the same way I like to use my own photos - it makes my posts more mine, more personal. Start to finish, no one else can offer quite the same perspective of the world, the same impression of life - the art of my experience.


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These are of my wife and were taken a little over two years ago. I am definitely not a skilled portrait photographer and I have no idea how to use a flash properly, but I do enjoy trying - without putting too much effort into the technical learning part and just kind of bumbling along. It is good fun to bumble.


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I am a bit jealous of people in photos, as there really aren't many of me floating about, as I am generally behind the camera or, no one thinks of putting me in front of it. Perhaps I should take the hint. I guess it isn't the end of the world, but it would be nice to you know, have a decent photo of myself of some kind - especially as time marches on. The problem is, my wife isn't interested in learning how to use the camera even at the basic level and after 5 years of the same Olympus (upgraded model now but pretty much identical in functionality), I am not expecting she will learn any time soon.


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Of course, I am not the prettiest in the family by a long shot, which I think affects the desire to preserve my looks for posterity anyway. Some things are better left unsaid, some people are better left unseen. I am not from the selfie generation, where people spend thousands of photos perfecting the right angle and pout for an image and then littering the social media feeds with pictures of themselves in the same pose for likes, as if people actually care about the face. The vast majority of selfies are soulless - there is no heart in the composition, no feeling, just a robotic response to the lens in their face, as they have done a million times before.


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While some people see it as self-absorption, I think that the "selfie movement" is a cultural cry for help, from people who are feeling that invisible to the world they feel they must advertise themselves to gain relevance. Picture after curated picture, in an attempt to be noticed by anyone at all. I feel that a lot of the depression that so many who do this feel, isn't because of trying to keep up with unreal body image or expectation, it is due to the feeling of unimportance in general, social disconnection and a lack of supportive relationships, no matter the pose.

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I think that my wife is beautiful. It doesn't matter what other people think of her in my eyes at all, though she herself might care. I think that this is what a lot of the young people and those pandering for an audience on their looks are missing - that the opinion of strangers don't matter, that teems of adoring fans are no match for an adoring lover, someone who sees the beauty regardless of the bad days and what changes with age.

The people who build their identity and sense of self through the opinions of strangers on who they are today, are going to find themselves replaced tomorrow. Consumers like new and with the amount of choice globally, there is always a new face to look upon, to consume until it is drained of what made it interesting and attractive, until it no longer pulls attention. The irony is that while we look at the slivers of lives of strangers, we fail to see that each day, the people next to us, the people we have known for years, are new too.

Every day, we are presented the face of a stranger and the uncertainty of their next move, we just assume they are the person we knew of yesterday. We fall into the habit of thinking we know them, are blind to the changes they go through and then one day, wake up and realize, the person we have known is gone - and all that remains is a memory fading into the darkened shadows of the unfamiliar.

It may be us who have changed.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]

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Beautiful post, @tarazkp. Congratulations. I feel that a part of you got naked here. Of course your wife and daughter are beautiful, but you must have something beautiful as soon as your wife noticed you and not someone else. That something unique, special, surely makes you beautiful in her eyes. As far as images and this generation, I think that social networks, the Internet have contributed to this fallacy regarding beauty, not to mention the amount of filters that they can use to fit into the patterns of beauty and become unrecognizable, get lost in the shadows, as you say. A good photograph is capable of capturing external beauty, but a good model is capable of expressing her inner beauty. Your wife is a beautiful model. Beautiful night, @tarazkp

I feel like most of these people use filters kind of like putting on a fake "mask" ; to hide their true selves.

It must be hard to see yourself so often in the mask, but then also have to look in the mirror at something quite different. Living a lie is probably difficult and takes energy to maintain.

I have no idea what she sees in me.

Filters and angles are like wearing black is slimming. People look for ways to look their best, without actually being their best. They try to look like others, without ever finding out who they themselves are.

,, but it would be nice to you know, have a decent photo of myself of some kind'' from what I remember hive's photographers club in finland is quite large. So I would think that getting some photos of you should not be a problem. You probably don't meet every day but some photoshoot opportunities should still be available.

,,Of course, I am not the prettiest in the family by a long shot, which I think affects the desire to preserve my looks for posterity anyway. Some things are better left unsaid, some people are better left unseen.''
I can relate. This the reason why I take way more photos of my dog than selfies. I guess some people and animals are just lucky. She is photogenic. And my mug looks like this...

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😜

We have only had one meetup in Finland and I think only one other Hive user lives in my city :)

Do you feel weird taking selfies? I watch people do it and they seem to feel comfortable, as if it is normal.

I always imagine what it would be like to have "slide nights" like back in the 80s where people would look at holiday pictures of friend's holidays and things and, there only being selfies.

"Hey guys, want to come around for a beer and look at photos I took of my own face?" :D

I don't know if weird is the right word. I find it difficult to take a half decent selfie. My face is too close/ too far away. What is my other hand or the door doing in the photo? I am sure that my finger was on the button. So why did I click something else?Taking a photo of my dog or the sky is easier. All I have to do is see something that seems beautiful, interesting or funny and take the photo before it changes. The fact that dog or sky don't complain about the photo shooting results helps as well.

Also I don't have a patience to look which of a 100 photos is better. I remember Eve a long time ago saying how many photos she took during one of her selfie shootings( and only a few of those photos saw the light of the chain). I don't know what number it was but I think that I might have taken less selfies during my entire life. I am sure that Eve, celestal or ESC would delete many of the photos I consider good. I find my lack of patience for posing or taking selfies quite interesting. It seems like I can be quite patient with my art or solving a puzzle. In the end of 2020 for the first time I was creating a art by order. The piece was done by the last days of december. In 2021 all I did with that piece was varnishing and fixes. Only today I am finally satisfied with the results. I guess it is possible to be closer to perfectionism in some areas and much further from it in the other areas.

I am a bit jealous of people in photos, as there really aren't many of me floating about, as I am generally behind the camera or, no one thinks of putting me in front of it.

Oh, maybe you don't know how lucky you are. Because as you prolly already know, there are some legends out there which say that some aboriginal tribes refused to be photographed by explorers, when they met, because those machines stole their soul.

Well, I do believe that most of the people who take a lot of selfies are soulless.

I agree that the majority of selfies are soulless.Empty eyes, a practiced smile. Sadly enough people don't put the same amount of effort for bonding with other people as they do in practicing their perfect pose. Happy in pictures and sad in real life. This has become a new norm. I hope that a couple of people will wake up from this virtual tyranny over the mind and spirit and start working towards perfecting their real lives.
!ENGAGE 20

I think that slowly, slowly - a few are waking up. The problem comes with what we choose to consume - people seem more concerned with double tapping selfies on Instagram than sorting their own lives out.

It is always a choice

As always, words of wisdom, there is not even something to cling to to write an interesting comment.
But the photo is worse before processing. I remember them in the original, they are about 2 years old. if the memory does not cause you to publish them somewhere in the late winter or early spring last year.

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I use them all my photos from time to time. I only have a limited supply of ones with people in them so many repeat. Also, some are suited to specific kinds of content :)

I'm going to be honest, first I thought "Oh I don't like this photo style", but there were a few photos which looked really great! Especially the last photo. This is something.. powerful? Can't say it properly in English, so I'll say it in Finnish.

Oikeissa kuvissa ja oikein tehtynä tuo on todella voimakas tyylikeino. Kun asiaa miettii, se muistuttaa valokuvan rajaamista, mutta se ei vain rajaa vaan kun asettaa kuvaan "pimeyden" luomaan suuren tyhjän tilan, se vain lisää kuvan vaikuttavuutta.

No nii.

So, yeah I agree, it isn't my preference either, but when it comes to drawing, this is actually what I do a lot with portraits. I am lazy and generally only do half of it :)

I think with refinement and the right images, it works as an emergence from or an absorption into the darkness. It can tell a bit of a story.

i just can't edit photos on the phone. tried, but don't feel comfortable.

Interesting edit.

And on the selfies topic, won't go into it, you are probably right and it is a bit depressing :D

It isn't the most sensitive of things to do, but it is accessible. At the moment, getting to my desktop is a little difficult.

Every time you see a selfie, assume the person is taking medication for depression :D

Dear @tarazkp , Perhaps you felt anxiety and fear before going to a new job. Everyone will feel emotions and experiences similar to you in order to adapt to your new environment.

I think she is beautiful and strong!

Not so much anxiety or fear for any new job these days. I think I have enough experience to assume I will be able to handle it.

Very nice text, I kind of feel the same way than you about people being and feeling disconnected. I think globally there is something wrong about human interactions. We are being more and more afraid of each other - especially strangers - and it shows in how we react to the world around us.

Covid exacerbating this.

I agree. Covid had disconnected people further and many are suffering, disconnected from each other even further, pretending they don't need anyone else.

Thank you for your engagement on this post, you have recieved ENGAGE tokens.

Wow, that was the most beautiful thing you have ever written, your wife is very beautiful too...Both you and your brother sound like such sweethearts! You have hit the nail on the head, the selfie craze is a reflection of insecurity along with all the filters that make everyone look like 12 year olds. Just like magazines were putting unrealistic expectations on us as youth, now social media has taken over and pushes all these aspects on young women. We as a society need to bring the natural beauty back in style...Imperfectly perfect human beings. I think people feel disconnected from themselves as well even the it seems like the opposite.

I tend to forget these things myself as I age or notice how covid lockdowns gave me 2 extra jean sizes but I'm one of the lucky ones to have found a man who adores me that reminds me that I'm not the only one getting older or not as unimportant as I think.

with all the filters that make everyone look like 12 year olds.

Makes we wonder what the average person finds attractive these days....

Just like magazines were putting unrealistic expectations on us as youth, now social media has taken over and pushes all these aspects on young women.

I think it is worse than that, or perhaps it is that I am old. The magazines were relatively unrealistic through the choices of models, but a lot of those models were actual people, just an extreme of the population. What they are doing now id having people alter their own bodies digitally, pinching and enhancing this and that - yet they still have the mirror to contend with. Looking at all those pictures of yourself looking beautiful but then, having to stare at reality's reflection each morning and night. This is where the disconnection from the self comes in - it is a split personality between reality of oneself and the desired reality of what one manipulates oneself to be.

Some people got fitter during Covid - I wasn't one of them :)

I had to go to the store recently and get bigger jeans 😂😂 it was hard to accept for a moment, I have been the same size effortlessly since I was 16 years old...I still have room to grow tho before I feel like I should put down the chocolate.

"Looking at all those pictures of yourself looking beautiful but then, having to stare at reality's reflection each morning and night"

that's pretty accurate I just avoid the mirror and selfies😂 (just being silly...lol). I think part of it is also the pressure to project a cool image to society to be accepted with everyone rather than the ones that matters, that is unrealistic to begin with and the failure to deliver the desired results in a bad self image both physically and an illusion of weakness of character. I still think it's a result of environment that almost always blindly chooses superficial as better than wholesomeness and until we as a society learn to value character strengths in ourselves and others over looks or what others think, that trend is going to get worse because it's a vicious unfulfilling circle.