Learning to Listen to Your Heart & Your Instincts
It has taken me a long time to learn to do what comes naturally to most people. Recent mounting health issues have broken through a lifetime of self-critical mind-set and self-destructive behaviour as I've realised that these mental constructs are just this - illusions built on societal and familial conditioning. A combination of substance abuse issues and severe depression in my late 20s, and into my early 30s left me with the type of mind that constantly questions itself.
It is never popular to talk ill of hive on hive, and to be honest, I think this is a problem that some of the 'holier than thou' whales on hive could really think hard about.
If you create a platform that seems to actively punish intelligent people from stating views that run contrary to the popular Zeitgeist, - that on hive seems to be, we are web 3.0, which is the wave of the future, so all you naysayers can fck off because us web 3.0 people are going to usurp Google, Facebook and Twitter's power and then it will be us that you have to lobby for your place in cyberspace.
How is that any different than decentralizing to the point where we have tens of thousands of Zuckerbergs, Jack Dorseys, Elon Musks, Bill Gates, Larry Pages, Sergey Brins, and Sundar Pichais wannabes acting in exactly the same way, wielding power for its own sake and changing NOTHING. There is no paradigm shift without a change in both structure and behaviour.
And if you want to start waving the accountability flag around, there are plenty of anon accounts on hive with over one million HP whose agenda is completely unknown, possibly they don't have one.
Who owns the @freedom account?
Most people seem to think it's either Ned Scott or Daniel Larimer.
Pftttt, I think the likelihood of either is quite low given what the account's wallet shows, and I think that an agenda seems to emerge if you really look at those delegations.
But none of that matters really, because that account could nuke me into oblivion if it doesn't like what I say in this blog. It could also crash the hive market to near zero at any time by selling its liquid hive.
Hive, home of the free 😂
Regardless of the minutia of the power structure of hive, which I would argue is so chaotic right now that if the online world did all migrate to hive it would cause just as much censorship, agenda lobbying and outright nepotism as web 2.0 currently does, if not more.
Regardless of all that...
On a personal note, the distractions that hive provides feels like it has become a deeply unhealthy barrier to achieving my true potential. I'm torn between hanging around to a lesser extent, and continuing to enjoy writing (what I think are) quirky photography posts, or just pulling the proverbial pin and blowing up the little rowboat that is my account.
I have over £20k of student debt that I accrued completing a creative writing degree to which I was accepted based on my portfolio writing alone. I'm not sure if anybody here understands what this means, but basically, my grades were not sufficient for me to get onto that degree, but the university professors (all successful mainstream published novelists) said "let him on the degree based on the 15000-word portfolio of work he has submitted."
I have the levels of procrastination that would put Victor Hugo to shame, coupled with the constant inner voice that tells me that my fiction isn't good enough, and in fact, a lot of what I have self-published on hive sends me into fits of self-doubt, despite glowing reviews from writer's on here that I recognise as quality, professional writers.
Here is a famous anecdote some of you might know about how Victor Hugo finally beat his procrastination to complete one of his best-known works, The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
By the summer of 1830, Victor Hugo was facing an impossible deadline. Twelve months earlier, the famous French author had made an agreement with his publisher that he would write a new book titled The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Instead of writing the book, Hugo spent the next year pursuing other projects, entertaining guests, and delaying his work on the text. Hugo's publisher had become frustrated by his repeated procrastination and responded by setting a formidable deadline. The publisher demanded that Hugo finish the book by February of 1831 — less than six months away.
Hugo developed a plan to beat his procrastination. He collected all of his clothes, removed them from his chambers, and locked them away. He was left with nothing to wear except a large shawl. Lacking any suitable clothing to go outdoors, Hugo was no longer tempted to leave the house and get distracted. Staying inside and writing was his only option.
The strategy worked. Hugo remained in his study each day and wrote furiously during the fall and winter of 1830. The Hunchback of Notre Dame was published two weeks early, on January 14, 1831.
Source: The Week
How does this relate to me? Why should I have the audacity to compare my problems to that of a successful novelist of yesteryear?
Because my lecturers believed in me. Half of my hyper-critical family believed in me, in fact, just like Victor Hugo, the only one who didn't believe in me was me.
It is time to change that!
What Have You Ever Done to Help Build Hive?
So much goes on behind the scenes on hive that it is difficult for new users to understand how it all works. Although the idea behind Hive is innovative, it says a lot that most people can't figure out how to progress and find a community that suits their interests without joining discord, although this is becoming easier to be fair.
I'm not able to dedicate any more time behind the scenes than I already have as real-life issues have taken all my time, but in the past, I was one of the busy bees who built some of the cells that makes up the hive. And, unlike some people who have taken $1000s dollars from the DHF (Decentralized Hive Fund) while achieving sweet FA of their promised goals, I have never even applied. The one community I launched, built and ran for a time called The Ink Well, I tutored the current owner/manager on how to make it self-sustaining.
- In the summer of 2017 my first attempt at community building was to start a steemchat group (a chat website created by @firepower that has now shut down) and later a similar discord group called Scuba Diving. A place where divers from around the world could share their stories, promote their posts and generally provide each other with mutual support.
- In late 2017 I joined curie as a curator and worked about 20 hours/week helping to find/reward posts from new users for the best part of two years.
- In 2018-2019 I ran a creative writing workshop for the Promo-mentors discord community spending roughly 10 hours/week offering editorial services and tutoring some second language English writer's to help them improve their craft.
- In 2018 I ran a weekly radio show on the whaleshares discord (prior to whaleshares forking from hive). This discord radio show was called literary corner and I hosted it for nearly a year. In the show I interviewed the most talented poets and fiction writers on hive/steem at the time, discussing their influences and how they first discovered they were destined to become a writer.
- In 2019 I joined the @sndbox creative incubator and worked as part of a team building the @projectgiving charity which helped fund a community/environmental project in Tanzania.
- In 2020 I started @theinkwell creative writing community with @stormlight24, designing the community media, writing creative prompts and community initiatives for 6 months until I had to facilitate handover to new management due to my own health issues, and a family member getting cancer at the beginning of the pandemic. The Ink Well was run successfully by @shanibeer who did an amazing job during her time managing it, and The Ink Well now remains an active and vibrant writing community thanks to the efforts of @jayna, @agmoore and @gracielaacevedo who I want to thank from the bottom of my heart.
To be honest, even I'm bored of looking at the list of stuff I've done and patting myself on the back 😂
Future Writing Goals and Hive Content
I have recently posted part one of a fantasy fiction three-parter called Red Days for the @dreemport and Scholar and Scribe community monthly collaboration. But, I stupidly didn't check the dreemport submission guidelines that are PG13. Part one of this gruesome, 'Joe Abercrombie style' violent, hopefully with, twists and plot devices that make it more than just violence for violence's sake, adult fantasy, was completely unsuitable for Dreemport 🤣
However, I will submit the last two instalments to the Scholar and Scribe community which I know welcomes gritty genre fiction of all kinds.
Beyond that, I just don't know. Maybe I shall continue to post a few photography-based articles/week, I haven't decided yet.
I'm currently focusing on submitting short stories (fiction) to literary, and genre-specific, mainstream magazines to increase my reputation as a writer. This is the main reason why I'm not publishing much fiction on hive anymore as I just don't have the time between editing and other jobs.
I am also working on a trilogy of fantasy novels... but. well, you have already read the anecdote about the terrible curse of writer's procrastination 😂 Let's just say I have a complete area map for the first trilogy, 20,000 words of sub creation (details of politics, militaristic policies, monsters, magic systems etc) and not much else.
If you'd like to check out some of the fiction I've written on hive in the past please check out this catalogue post I made last year.
I'd like to say a massive thank you to all the people who have helped and supported me over the years.
I'm going to celebrate my Hive 5th birthday tonight with Pizza 🍕 and a healthy swim in the morning to work it off.
I hope one day you might read one of my books and think fondly of me 😃
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I may not have always responded to your poetry and short fiction, but I do read them, support, and bookmark. I've reread numerous ones. Please know that in order for me to do that, I feel the works are masterful.
I don't think I told you how much of an inspiration you have been in my attempts at short fiction. Your precise, descriptive words leap from the screen and scream at me whenever I'm dragging my thoughts down a flowery path with no end or purpose.
I will definitely miss your writings. But I do understand. As one with health concerns who frequently switch meds to find a fit, it's a never-ending battle to feel good each day. Garnering the right mind frame to even get out of bed, let alone sit to concentrate on writing, is a task.
I keep stating that I love to write short story fiction. However, I give up too easily and write other stuff mainly because of self-doubt. Over 50 unfinished stories sit in my Peakd Drafts folder just waiting.
Your post above has given me the push to toss daily unnecessary items from my schedule and tackle what I keep saying I love.
Thank you for that.
And take care of your body and mind. Peace and good luck go with you on your new journey.
Hi @justclickindiva
Sry this response is a little late, some IRL stuff distracted me from all things online for a few days... good IRL things which was nice 🙂
I'm glad that more people do read my fiction on here than maybe I realise. It's great to hear that you are one of them.
Reading this makes me feel incredibly honoured if any of my short stories have inspired you 🙂
You should maybe revisit some of your unfinished ones and consider finishing them and publishing some at The Ink Well or Scholar & Scribe.
My advice, as a writer who is massively self-critical, as I talk about in my post, probably more than people might think; is to re-read e.g. 10-20 of those unpublished (unfinished) short stories that you felt were your best, then choose the one that captures your interest most and finish it. Then, and if you feel able, do some editing if you can see where it is needed, as often time away from fiction allows you to see these types of things easier and with less emotional connection, Then just publish it. Even if you haven't edited it.
That way you break the cycle you've spoken about.
There is no way to take a swim if you don't jump in the sea.
Thanks again for your lovely comment, and also your generous tip on my post.
If I do achieve my goal of breaking my procrastination and write my fantasy trilogy, and it gets picked up I shall return to hive at the very least to promote the books and I shall return that tip tenfold 😉
Also, hoping to see that you've published a few more of your short stories at least.
Best wishes 🙂
Thanks so much for your expert advice. When you do return, I'll be able to say that I knew him before he became a millionaire author!
Best wishes.
I wish, it is incredibly competitive in the mainstream market... but I have friends from the same degree I did who are now authors, and a few who write scripts for the BBC. So you never know, that is the dream 😂 to write a trilogy and then have Netflix offer a big ass fat check for the TV rights. Won't know unless I try.
It would be a terrible loss to us all were you to leave altogether. You've been both a great help and an inspiration to me.
I do know what you mean though. The wind left my sails after a run in with a whale. I wish it weren't so, but I have somewhat dumbed down my content, so as to not have run ins with whales.
Good luck, whatever you decide. I'll keep an eye out for your posts.
HI @owasco
I'm not going to completely recycle what I said to kaixin below, because that would be disrespectful. I appreciate our interactions over the years, particularly around both our fiction and poetry. But I strongly feel that hive is not the place for me to share that work anymore. It pretty much says why in this blog post, procrastination coupled with chronic illness is one hell of a kicker for limiting your time. If I can get 5-6hours/day of writing time for 3 weeks out of every 6 I am lucky. This is where I will repeat what I said below to kaixin because it is the plain truth, as I said to someone in a discord conversation yesterday:
I have 5 different friends who were on the same course as me, who're now successful mainstream writers. 3 novelists, and 2 who write scripts for the BBC. It is time for me to put what little time I'm not feeling too sick to do much at all toward achieving similar goals.
Thanks again for being a good friend, and sharer in literary content down the years 🙂
It is absolutely true that it would be a terrible loss to all of us--your loyal fans if you should leave Hive here! However, I understand you completely no matter what decision you make. After all, it is much more important for you to win the favor of the mainstream media than Hive.
Having said that, I can't still help but think of a poem: 最是人间留不住，朱颜辞镜花辞树. 'Things hardest to keep in this human world---Rosy cheeks which fade in the mirror and flowers that fall from trees.
(For my part, you are just the flying youth/rosy cheeks and the splendid flowers on Hive. )
Believe in yourself since we all believe in you so strongly! Only God knows how your writings brighten my days. I've followed them to fly away and see the world...
Thank you for all your efforts and contributions to Hive in the past 5 years! Take care! God bless!
Thank you for your kind words, and for all your thoughtful comments on my poetry. I appreciate that there are a few people on hive who read my blogs on the regular, but the plain truth is, as I said to someone in a discord conversation yesterday:
This seems really harsh maybe, but I have 5 different friends who were on the same course as me who are successful mainstream writers. 3 novelists, and 2 who write scripts for the BBC.
It is time for me to put what little time I'm not feeling too sick to do much at all toward achieving similar goals.
Thanks again for being a good friend, and appreciator of my poems @kaixin
If I could only have one wish, I would pray that a VIP from the mainstream media appears and helps you publish all your great writings on Hive!!
Many times success only needs some luck. It is said that at that time J.K. Rowling's huge triumph could not be seperated with her outstanding agent/publisher.
What's more, I never thought that the life in the developed countries can also be tough. I doubt whether the college student loan is interest-free or not in UK.(They say that in China it is interest-free.)And if one fails to reach a certain income threshold, can his student loans be cancelled？
I have to say that I've just learned a lot about the Western society policies and rules via your blogs--a direct open window leading to the real inner life in Western world, getting around the false information or one-sided reports from my own country.
Of course, another of my biggest harvests on Hive is Haiku from you and @dbooster. Just as he said, he has had a book of Haiku. In fact, from the beginning, I have realized his Japanese Haiku translation as well as his explanation and matching painting is just a treasure-trove. In China, we seldom read books about Japanese Haiku. Most of common Chinese have even never heard of Haiku. Here please allow me to say a big Thank you to you both! You are just my two great Haiku teachers! But I notice that there is a selling book about Haiku in Chinese published from Taiwan, rather expensive. So I said to myself laughingly that I just earned so much since I have been reading the wonderful Haiku For Free!
How to turn these valuable blogs/resources on Hive into the real wealth in offline world？It is a big problem at present! It is also a key...
Be care of yourself! Pray for your success!
Hello @raj808,
You have to make the decision that is best for your health, and your future. Those student debts are horrendous. I didn't realize they were so large in Europe. I know in the U. S. they keep people under the yoke for decades. Terrible.
I would like to see you here, because I like to see you around😇. You were very influential in my Hive career. Whatever decision you make, good luck my friend.
Yes, you understand @agmoore, I know you get it. As to the student loans, I was unlucky enough to go to university only 2 years after they scrapped the grant system (for people from low-income families like I am) and changed it to a loan system where you don't have to pay the loan back until you reach a certain income threshold.
It was an invention/idea from Tony Blair's 'New Labour' rebranding socialism that had worked absolutely as it should for years in the UK, into a middle-of-the-road party much more suitable for the global agenda that we've seen played out over the last 30 years. But anyway, I don't really want to get into politics, it is the simple truth that they scrapped the grant system (for people from low-income families like I am) and changed it to a loan system, actually only 18 months before I went to university, as I went later than many people do in my mid 20s.
Thank you, as I've said to others in this comments thread, you are someone who genuinely read and gave feedback and encouragement on my fiction, in particular, which I've always allowed my inner demons to convince me was less worthy than it was. The truth is, that all most of my fiction I put on hive needed was a few more edits and sending to an agent lol
I hear you on procrastination. Whew... I mean, I still haven't gotten around to responding to our conversation on Discord 😫
Anyway, lots there. First off, congratulations on 5 years! You beat me here by about a month I think. Hmm.. we did this dance last year. But I forget.
I want to respond to a lot of what you write. But it's morning here and kids are going nuts and I'm already pulling out my hair. Just writing this then to let you know I read your post and I intend to reply more, ideally later today when I get some free time. Will try not to procrastinate on that ;)
!PIMP
You must be killin' it out here!
@dbooster just slapped you with 1.000 PIMP, @raj808.
You earned 1.000 PIMP for the strong hand.
They're getting a workout and slapped 1/2 possible people today.
Read about some PIMP Shit or Look for the PIMP District
No worries about the commenting @dbooster my friend!
Thank you, as I've said in this comments thread to many others, you are someone who genuinely read, and gave feedback and encouragement on my poetry for years.
I'm now reading regularly at a poetry night here in Liverpool and starting to make a name for myself in what is quite a vibrant poetry scene in our little city 🤣 Also, I've started the mammoth task of making a spreadsheet with links for all my steem/hive posts, mainly so that (if I ever find the time) I can sift through all the poetry, pick out the best of the best, do some serious re-writes and editing work and either self publish or submit as chapbooks dependent on how different the work ends up being.
I'll leave you with a bit of anarchist poetry I recorded recently, knowing that you like Rage Against the Machine from our previous conversations (although I wish I had Zack's ability to pen anarchist rhymes), it is my attempt at something more political, and less lyrical, but maybe more rhythmical 😂 than my usual style.
https://soundcloud.com/rowan-joyce/technologism?utm_source=clipboard&utm_campaign=wtshare&utm_medium=widget&utm_content=https%253A%252F%252Fsoundcloud.com%252Frowan-joyce%252Ftechnologism
Nice one Raj, always good to hear your thoughts. The blockchain does take up quite a bit of time for sure. I wish you good health. Try to lay off the shandys! lol
Yeah, alcohol is not my friend for sure. But the last time I drank was 7 days ago, I must drink once every 2-3 weeks max.
My health problems are much more complex than just alcohol, but I take your point. I just have to prioritise my time in a more sensible way, and that is what this post was all about... lol oh and digging into a few home truths about some stuff that most people will never mention.
Thanks for reading and commenting @mypathtofire 👍
i find if you abstain from everything, then you set yourself an impossible task. have a great week Raj, you have been hitting it out of the park with your posts lately! hopefully you find some time for articles on Hive still.
It takes time and effort but it's great to have hive as a hobby and a source of income.
Even if you need to take a break and get back on track with life I wouldn't leave altogher or sell up your stake.
It's easy to put everything on auto and come back in a while.
Ok, I'm back. Unfortunately after having my brain scattered by the day, I don't remember exactly what I wanted to say. le sigh That's how it goes, I suppose. At least my kids are leaving me alone this evening. Though They should be getting to bed soon, so I have that struggle ahead of me.
Just a few thoughts then.
I don't know much about how student loan debt works in the UK. In the US it is bad enough these days that even when people pay it off every month, it still balloons higher and higher. I hope the situation is a little better there.
If freedom turned out to be Ned or Dan, that would be something. And yeah, if Hive did explode into the mainstream, those in power here would be just as ruthless as those in power in other places. All the talk of freedom and so on on Leo seems no different that the lies other charismatic figures of the past used to gain the support of the masses. Like Lenin. And we know what usually happens as soon as these figures get the power they want. Hive propaganda is no different than other propaganda. Ok, that's an extreme comparison. Better to compare to Zuck, et al, like you do. But anyway, yeah, Hive, home of the free ;)
I completely understand the desire to focus on your writing. I sometimes wonder the same: if I am wasting my time here, distracting myself with shit posts that make pennies when I could be crafting a haiku book. Well haiku is niche so any book I published probably wouldn't sell much even if it got good reviews from well-known figures, but at least I would be able to say I had a book.
But anyway, I will miss your poems and other posts here, but I completely understand where you are coming from. I wish you the best of luck with your trilogy and other magazine short stories. I'll look forward to buying a copy when you finish!
Lol, well I absolutely believe that to be true because when I was all over twitter shouting about how great steem was, fully aware that the truth was far more complex than the message I was shouting with Nathan and the rest of them, I suddenly got support from certain larger accounts... go figure.
But hive is completely different, bullshit! I was lobbied with bigger votes for shilling and the reason why it is exactly the same as lobbying is when I finally got pissed off and actually expressed my true opinion 💩
But anyway, nuff of that crap I got out of even commenting on hive politics posts years ago because of the chaotic madhouse that I found it to be.
I responded to your other comment with most of what I wanted to say, but I'll repeat... thank you for being a genuine fellow poet who read and commented on my work, and shared fantastic work that I enjoyed reading and commenting on.
Hive is not all bad, I completely recognise the value of friendships I've made on here, it just destroys my focus and distracts me soooo much that I have to either leave or take a long break.
@dbooster if I ever make it to Japan I'll msg you on Discord and see if you've any spare time to show a scouser where to get really good foodstuffs 🙂
Hi @raj808,
Thank you for participating in the #teamuk curated tag. We have upvoted your quality content.
For more information visit our discord https://discord.gg/8CVx2Am
Thanks for pointing out the elephant in the room in regards to whales. I understand 36 accounts own over 51% of all hive.
!PIZZA
Yep, it is not a decentralized ecosystem. And it will take many decades to become one at the rate of hive token re-distribution happening right now, if at all.
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I love reading your stuff...if and when I make/have time and there are few here on HIVE that I read with pleasure. So I fully get your POV but if you ask me ...I hope you stick around to inspire me a bit longer !CTP
Thanks m8, I'm just glad that more people do read my fiction on here than maybe I realise. It's great to hear that you are one of them, and I'm honoured if any of my work inspired you 🙂
Ehh well mainly because of your writing and one other Hivian I was like okay, I should pick up fiction again after sooo long so yes mate you did inspire!
This is such an authentically expressed post. Thank you !💜
I'm glad you enjoyed it @marleyandme
It was from the heart, and pretty much unfiltered.
❤️
I believe in you bro. You know I always have.
I know Allen. Thanks for expressing it again as I know you've seen me express similar frustrations before, then not act on them 😂
That procrastination demon is the worst affliction a writer can have, I know some don't really get it much. Oh, what I would pay to be among them 😂 But seriously, it is just about removing distractions and going for it. I've promised to finish a three-part fantasy short story (Part One called - Red Days) only if you have time as I know you like all Spec fiction.
I'm going to try and get part two out tomorrow, as this week has had a lot of IRL distractions (some good which is nice) so I couldn't hit my own self-imposed deadline of today. Anyway, once I've got that published (I hate leaving things unfinished) I shall follow up on what I've said in this post removing all distractions, so I can focus on what is already a considerable amount of work I've done of sub-creation on wonderdraft (map-making software) and Scrivner.
It has been a pleasure interacting with you over the years, and maybe in a few years I'll pop back up announcing something exciting 🙂
I'd love to keep up. Certainly pop back in and keep us updated.
That's true, but on the other hand, think how harder were things to do just two years ago. I can see that building on Hive happens everywhere, even in some parts most of us have no idea about yet, and all this in a bear market. Can't wait to compare Hive 2022 to Hive 2025, most probably we'll have some big surprises.
I know your personal life comes first and you have different priorities, but whatever you decide to do I still hope to see you around, at least from time to time!
Came here from ListNerds!
Yeah, this is the heart and soul of it, to be honest. I get distracted too easily and have less time to spend, so all distractions are just feeding my procrastination on finishing the larger writing works.
Thanks for reading, and maybe I'll be still publishing the final two parts of the three-part fantasy short story I promised I would. After that, I'll be removing all distractions, so I can focus on what is already a considerable amount of work I've done of sub-creation on wonderdraft (map-making software) and Scrivner.
Cheers for reading my post and commenting 🙂
Congrats on your five year Hive anniversary, @raj808 - that's a real achievement.
I'm sorry to hear your health problems have been giving you hell. Is there anything I can do to help?
Annabelle 😊
Thank you for your concern Annabelle, but there is nothing to be done. Believe me after 9 years of this chronic illness, and enough research that could fill a book, I have tried most treatments, both alternative and traditional medicine.
Cheers for the 5 year congrats 🙂
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STOPCheck out the last post from @hivebuzz:
You will be missed my friend!
Although I was out of the picture for a bit, I've always considered you a friend from the moment we met on the platform that shall not be named :)
I love having you in our team and although I feel a bit guilty for not having the time and now peace of mind to read most of your work because I can't focus for that long currently, know that your writings and effort are appreciated by me as well!
I'm quite sure that you will eventually have your work published and I hope you won't forget reaching out when you do as I will make sure to support your work!
I wish you all the best, peace of mind, love and good health, and when you leave, we shall definitely meet again!
<3
Thank you @thisismylife, same here 🙂
And I certainly won't forget to reach out, and even promote here on hive, anything I get published in the mainstream if I am lucky/talented enough to achieve that goal.
But, as this blog goes into minute detail about my personality along with health issues that all combine so that every distraction, however small, fuels that devil of procrastination, and I only have so much time/week.
Yes, I hope so. The future is a blank canvas (cheesy cliche)😂 I'm getting them all out of my system now 😉
Thanks for being a good friend @thisismylife
I wish all the best and happiness to you, and your family 🌿
I've come to your profile to read a few of the things I've missed these past weeks to find this post. First of all congratulations on your 5th birthday on Hive. It sounds stupid even saying this now. However, maybe somewhere in the future, readers of your published works will all flock here to read the master's old work on his blog.
The funny thing (for me) is that it's because of writers like you (mainly you) that I have left my ideas of writing more than just a blog on the back burner as I will never be able to compare to your talent. That's not your fault haha, it's partly my own confidence (or lack thereof) at play and partly that moment where you read someone's work and think: "OH COME ON! How could I ever think I was good enough to compete with that?" You know, like that moment when people come on to a talent show right after a fucking 12-year-old that sang a Janis Joplin song better than Janis would. LOL.
Anyway, I am glad that you have your goals set out so clearly even though it means you're leaving us.
It is an absolute pleasure to know you, to actually meet you in person, and to spend time with you here and in discord. I know we'll meet again someday but till then:
To your dreams!
If I can wish for anything right now, it is for you to achieve them all.
Thanks for your lovely parting words @misslasvegas
I've already chatted to you on discord much more in-depth than this post even delves into why I have to leave... so i'll leave that subject alone 😂
Thanks for being a good friend, and I'll hopefully meet you in that great unknowable country called the future 🙂🌿
Thanks for pointing this out. This realization somehow tempers my idealism about blockchain technology. Politics and power are really . . . I don't know how to describe them anymore . . .
There is a lot that happens behind the scenes on hive, and before on steem it was worse, to be honest. I have a tone of anecdotal stories, and even evidence of some pretty damning behaviours that prove certain agendas, but tbh I didn't want this post to turn into a mud-flinging event. One thing is for certain, the current drive from the upper-classes (whales and witnesses) is most definitely not about rewarding high-quality fiction 😂
I just don't care enough anymore, but also it isn't in my nature to shit on something just for the sake of it. I'd rather move on to something that will produce positive results.
I got curious about the account you mentioned. I found that as of yesterday, his blockchain records has already 212 pages. I backed checked until page 201 and was surprised with what I found. I think I now have an idea of what "Ninja Mining" is and had a glimpse of what happened from 2016 onwards. I didn't expect that by digging I could stumble with Hive's history. I wonder what will I find out once I am done with the remaining 200 pages.
Thanks! I wish you holistic health and success in pursuing your passion! Grace and peace!
You got to do what is best for you my friend sorry you feel like you have to exit out all together but i respect going after your dreams where ever that maybe.
That account you mentioned is huge, i am sure there are other accounts just like it.
Maybe be it is part of something or not, corruption can happen anywhere.
We can only control what we do.
Have a blessed and successful journey😎
!ALIVE
!BBH
!CTP
Cheers Ben.
Yeah, this whole post could be summarised by the first subheading: Learning to Listen to Your Heart & Your Instincts.
Mine tell me to shoot for the stars, and due to health issues I have limited time, so I have to choose one or the other.
As to corruption on hive, well I have been here 5 years and the same two accounts have received the same whale vote on auto for the whole time I've been here 🤣 Things will never change here, it is a 'carrot and stick' system.
But as you said: "We can only control what we do."
Quite right, and that is why I'm moving on to something which feels right and might bring greater things to my life.
Thanks for the well-wishes 🙂👍
I totally understand where you are coming from and respect it my friend wishing you tons of success moving forward.
I not been on Hive as long and really don't understand the complex situations from before, so can only go from personal experience but i get what you are saying.
Hope your health issues don't hamper your progress, sending healing vibes your way @raj808 stay safe and well 😎
@raj808! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @benthomaswwd. (18/20)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.
All the best.
You are so right. The blockchain takes a lot of time to be effective and the rewards are not always worth it. Thanks for sharing.
I have received this email 4 times now. We will miss you but you sure aren't gone yet.