On this day: My first therapy session

in #hivephlast year (edited)

Two years ago, I messaged HealSpace Psychological Clinic for an initial consultation. Little did I know, that simple act of reaching out to them would change my life forever.

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This is me celebrating my 2nd therapy anniversary! 😊

I wish to share my experience, why I needed therapy, and how it helped me. I wish to debunk some myths about it as well.

What is HealSpace Psychological Clinic?
It is a mental health clinic that “aims to address the growing need for awareness, understanding, and treatment of mental health concerns in Batangas and nearby areas” (HealSpace, 2020). Their services include:

  • Psychotherapy
  • Psychological counseling
  • Psychological assessments

The clinic is located here in my hometown, Lipa City, Batangas, so thankfully I don’t have to go to Manila for consultations. They help many local residents to have access to mental health care, which is a huge problem here in the Philippines.

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(I took pictures a week into therapy, edited in canva.com)

According to The Manila Times (2021), there are only around 1,400 psychologists and 500 psychiatrists in the Philippines. The approximate ratio of psychologists to Filipinos would be one for every 80,000.

Since I have a psychology background, I knew that I need a higher level of care compared to others, who might just want a counseling session or an assessment.

I opted to ask for a psychotherapy session due to the nature of my concerns which includes childhood trauma and abuse.

The reason for my therapy
It wasn’t until 2020 happened when I began to remember troubling memories from my past. I was constantly overwhelmed and confused by flashbacks. Soon, I began to trace a pattern from my childhood and it occurred to me that what had happened shouldn’t have happened.

Trauma is insidious like that: It makes you forget about the past, but it creeps up on you. Also, trauma is not just about experiencing war and violence or natural disasters. It is the emotional overwhelm following an event that results in physical, mental, or social changes (Ryder, 2022).

Sadly, despite my great need to have psychotherapy, here’s how my Filipino parents reacted to it: They were in disbelief and divided.

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(I bought cake to celebrate my first session, edited in canva.com)

On one hand, my father took me to the clinic, but would not talk to me about it. Meanwhile, my mother gave me the silent treatment and didn’t look at me in my eyes.

Mental health stigma in the Philippines
There’s a part of me who believes that they knew it would help me and it sucks that they don’t have the capability to do so. No parent would like for their child to suffer.

However, to wrestle with the fact that there is stigma in seeking professional help was probably too hard on them.

This includes the catch-all word for people with mental health issues like “baliw” or “nasisiraan ng ulo.” It’s evident that our local language needs improvement as well as basic psychoeducation.

In addition, others assume that people with mental health conditions are “weak” and “lack faith” as if it is a sin to show negative emotions and symptoms (Doratan, 2021).

I wish I could tell you, dear reader, that we bridged the gap of misunderstanding. I learned a very hard lesson the day I opened up about my therapy assignments to my mother: You can’t just change someone's view on mental health. Change must begin within themselves.

I’m healing
The world was so noisy when I started going to therapy. There was a lot of internalized shame and misjudgment from others. “Taking on the task of healing is not for everybody,” my therapist said.

Maybe it’s the competitive side of me, but I liked the sound of a challenge. I want to heal because at least I have a purpose. I have something to prove to myself.

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It felt like doing a middle finger to the world – you set me up to be a failure, but you’ll see that I’m worth the love I’m giving to myself.

However, my impatient self wanted to see quick progress. I couldn't be more wrong because healing meant shining light on my shadows and seeing all of me, which terrified me. Here’s how my therapist helped me and what I learned:

  • He asked me to write my truth – I learned about working through heart-breaking details of my past and accepting the situation as what it was. I named my experiences with a heavy heart but it felt so freeing to say it out loud.
  • He asked me to feel my feelings – I learned about listening to my body. I began to view my emotions as an important part of me.
  • He asked me to share the blame – I learned about empowering myself through knowing it wasn’t my fault. I saw how asserting a basic need is valid.

Dear younger me
If I could go back in time and talk to myself, I would tell her that our hard work paid off.

I am loving myself. I am in love with my life. I am loved. I am loving others.

Healing isn’t linear and I still relapse into depression or dissociation, but I have the tools now to regulate myself. I am so proud of us and I’m excited to see where we would go from here.

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(edited in canva.com)

Psychotherapy is a safe space for me to explore my trauma without any judgment or shame, but for others it could be the opposite. Remember, healing is a process – a trial and error. Find what works for you and be open to try other interventions.

Important note: If you are experiencing current distress and are in need of URGENT ATTENTION, please proceed to the emergency room of the hospital nearest you.

You can also call:
DOH-NCMH Hotline: 0917-899-8727 or 02-7989-8727

Natasha Goulbourn Foundation Hopeline: 0917-558-4673, 0918-873-4673 and 02-8804-4673

In Touch Crisis Line: 0917-800-1123, 0922-893-8944 and 02-8893-7603.

Thank you for reading 💜 Have a healing day!
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I have a weakness if it is relating to mental health. A sibling of mine have bipolar disorder and I can understand some experiences from the family side etc.

It is brave to be out there sharing such experience.

"Panget talaga yung baliw na word there should be a better term for it"

As always it is a fresh experience reading your post here. It inspires other people to be vulnerable and be vocal.

Thank you for being here Ish and we hope na mas dumami pa kayo dito.


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Hugs, Ish. Happy 2nd therapy anniv! There was a time in my life when I had to fling myself into a job that I did not want so I could have funds for psychiatric help. Hirap 'pag iniisip ng parent mo nag-iinarte ka lang!

I've been on and off meds/therapy since 2016. Quite a struggle but just like you, I'm on a journey to being better towards myself!

Thank you for sharing! <3

This is so important, so inspiring. I'm truly glad that you made the decision to heal and go to therapy despite all the misjudgment and prejudice.

Mental health should be a big priority for everyone and raising awareness in any way possible is very important so people can overcome this prejudice and misconceptions, so we all finally can be able to heal and have a better life quality without feeling judge for accepting that we might need help.

I wish you all the love and the best for you in your life and healing process. All your hard work is worth it.🖤

Thank you so much 🤗 That made me feel really inspired to continue sharing my story. I hope you keep safe and wishing you all the love too 😊

🖤🖤🖤🖤✨✨✨

People need psychoeducation indeed. I once opened up about my depression with my mother and she just told me that, "Arte lang 'yan." It hurts to get your feelings invalidated. One of the reasons why it is hard for me to get attached to people and speak out my true feelings. I'm just thankful to meet a friend who does have the same profession like you wherein I can talk anything during our free time.

You're an inspiration for people like me po. I hope you can continue to inspire and help people to their healing.

I'm sorry you had to hear that, ang invalidating no? And it's something that they may never understand. Buti naman you have a psych friend, count me as one too 😊 Feel free to DM me sa discord if you wanna chika lang hehe

Oh, can I for real? That's nice of you po. I'll talk to you po if I can have my free time. Thank you po. 😊

Hi @ishwoundedhealer! Your bravery and steadfastness are worthy of great admiration. I congratulate you for having the courage to face and choose firmly and decisively, the path to your own healing. You are a great example to follow. Thank you for sharing your experience.

Thanks for your comforting words @tiaene 😊 I'm happy to be an example. May you have a nice day!

I loved how society now embracing the facts, yeah back those years sana madami natulungan, kasi I knew people personaly who cuts their life, if ever society dont judge person; bakit need ng mental check-up ganito ganyan, sana buhay pa sila and sana natulungan. Kaya Kudos talaga sa mga mahahabang pasensiyang professionals gaya niyo.

That's very true. If mas aware tayo, we could've helped those who suffered. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and reading my blog 😊

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😉🤙 musta! I saw this post and had to look..

I was diagnosed as manic-depressive when I was 16. I am cool with it, (it has it's ups and downs :P) but there have been a few real bad times when I needed professional help. The last one almost took me out..

anyway, I am glad that, here in usa, mental health and getting treatment of it, are more of an accepted thing.. It's also very cool to see it being talked about here on hive. :)

It's good to see u are doing great and hope that keeps up for u!

It's great to know that you're on the path to healing. And thanks for the inspiration and encouragement to all that it is perfectly fine to seek help for our mental health.

Ps-kabayan pala tayo. I knew when I read that HealSpace sounded familiar. Taga batangas din kami. It's where my sis had her Psych evaluation for her job requirements. ☺️

Uy, kabayan! 😊 Nice to know po na you're around the area. Thank you so much for your kind words 🤗

This is such an inspiring story of yours. I am hoping for your full healing. ☺️🙏
Laban lang. ☺️

Salamat po @missleray 🤗 Fighting!!

You're welcome. ☺️💪

inspiring naman. godspeed po. 😄

This is so inspiring.

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I am proud of you for sharing this kind of experience of yours ❤️🤗 Congratulations, I am hoping that God will give the full healing that you deserve. 🤗😍 God bless you, and we're all rooting for you 🤗Keep fighting 😘

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Happy 2nd therapy anniversary thank you for sharing your story. You are such an inspiration to the youth