From a young age, I felt separate, an alien in consciousness
creating pain and feelings of confusion because “I do not belong here.”
I swore my identity was not made of flesh and bone.
I struggled to call Earth my home.
How I imagined the world to be was not my reflected reality.
The rejection of compassion and forgiveness was all too much too miss.
Money and success could not seduce me.
Corruption, lies, and greed controlled by corporate deeds
was the standard human feed.
This was not the place I wanted to be.
Not a soul seemed to be living truly free.
I kept fleeing, to where there was no sound of humans
caught in the net of their own lie, where suffering would not be found.
Running down the road, hoping to meet someone who was not
caught in the samsara of illusion and confusion, I kept going.
Each time, a false prophet would seduce my eager spirit and each time,
you would show me your wounded human.
Was no-one truly free? This couldn’t be!
And each time, my heart would feel a spark of inspiration
sending me in a new direction, I would give up
because something didn’t feel right.
And nothing was more real than the fear that kept me hiding,
that kept me trying to find my place and
set my stage on this planet in motion,
but like the Earth spinning,
the sun was always rising and setting somewhere,
And I was never able to grab a hold long enough
to slow down and settle,
plant roots and make a home, somewhere to call my own,
even for a moment to feel the pain I felt of human suffering.
When I walked down the street I could hear your thoughts,
And feel your feelings, and it was all mine, and it was too much to feel.
And I would fall, a terrible mess, fragile and weak, and sick again
because life was not the heavenly bodied experience I had expected.
Now the sweet embrace of nature, of mother Earth would comfort me,
but I was still alone, no bed, no home
.
I kept spinning in frustration and confusion, which way was up or down?
I couldn’t tell the sky from the ground.
Caught between the constraints of space and time,
there is nothing more painful than the purgatory of being human,
when one reality is the same as the next in this insane game.
I wasn’t buying what the mass mind says should be and ought to be.
I prayed, Dear God, please make me AWAKE and FREE.
I SURRENDER!
Please let the unconditional flow of Love direct me.
There was so much dynamic tension between who
I saw in the mirror and who I knew myself to be.
Fumbling around in the dark,
praying one day I’d find the place or person or piece
of something that reflected to me who
I was and what I was supposed to be.
Me-er than me?
Genius or delusion?
No amount of praise could quell this internal haze that saw
No mentor or teacher or story that inspired her to pick a way to be.
On the move, a cosmic gyspy, a shapeshifter
with a million masks and one face,
I changed my name like the weather,
my gender and age was neither set nor stable.
I would change clothes three times in one day,
because the 16 year old boy couldn’t wear the clothes
of an 8o year old grandmother
or 67 year old preacher man.
I seemed to be more intune with the angel realms
and dragon energy than a human entity.
I swore I wasn’t from here.
Captain Lila Star, Pleadian priestess,
Emissary of the galactic federation from 7000 years in the future,
where money and cars can only be found in the
hologram of akashic records where you’ll find relics and vestiges of ancient pasts.
There was no label or job or box that felt more real than nothing for me.
It was as if I was just a hollow shell, and only GOD could fill me.
I had no interest in participating in choosing one thing, in playing the human game,
unless I was sure that God was reffing the play.
You see, the only thing real for me was the opportunity to be a channel for divinity.
Breathe me, dance me, muse me, mystic stars of creation,
but please don’t abuse me because I am nothing without you.
I mean what if life was one big joke, and one day I awoke
and I was center stage, and I had nothing to say,
for nothing was more real than what I could feel,
And there was nothing to say!
No thing that words could describe to explain
the ineffable awe of being everything and nothing at all.
And that was my chance to live my dream of being seen,
of sharing something worth sharing,
something to claim my stake on this Earth,
and instead all that was said, was
"I AM YOU. I AM YOU.
I plead guilty of introspection, and searching
in every direction for who I truly AM.
I am no longer tendering separation and discrimination that I am not you,
yet I am too scared to be anything that might limit me from everything."
Written in 2012, I LOVE YOU, Lila*Star
You're PERFECT just the way you are.
@zeartul This user has abused bellyrub put 95$ bid Blacklist this account
I vouch for @lilastar as a pure soul with pure intentions :)
Amazing share, Lila!
VOTE: The top comments on ALL posts should be comments that raise you up, not put you down!
Thank you, Steemit Community!
Hi @lays hi @zeartul you have not made it clear how much is too much.... please be clear before blacklisting lilastar. She didn't mean to do anything wrong.
I recommend making a post on @bellyrub stating what the max is.
Hi @lays before i respect your demand to keep my bids under 25 dollars.... i would love to see a written confirmation that 25 sbd is the cap from @zeartul or @bellyrub. I looked on bellyrubs wall and he doesn't say that 25 sbd is the cap anywhere.
A friend supported me! I did not use bellyrub <3
@earthnation @lilastar ok max buying vote is 25$ now please care about it next time
This wonderful comment has received a bellyrub 0.05 % upvote from @bellyrub. Please make sure to vote for my pops as a witness @zeartul,Here
Cool :)
Yeah and this post deserves it!
welcome and very nice poem!
loving yourself... huge topic... one of the most important in life. Not so easy sometimes
This wonderful comment has received a bellyrub 0.05 % upvote from @bellyrub. Please make sure to vote for my pops as a witness @zeartul,Here
I came in like wrecking ball...take it easy lays..before prison there is a listening...please
@lilastar
Warning!!! precaution for abusing bellyrub whale you have sended 95 dollar max bid is 25 dollar if you send and abuse again with high bid your account will be black listed by bellyrub
I'll let my friend know who was supporting me!
This wonderful comment has received a bellyrub 0.05 % upvote from @bellyrub. Please make sure to vote for my pops as a witness @zeartul,Here
Very interesting! Thanks!!!
What's a Stacker?
Enjoyed the lines... Just as I liked the last one... You really look like you have answers to some questions people should be asking themselves.
Yessaiii! Agreed!
WELCOMETO STEEMIT, YOU HAVE FUN IN STEEMIT.. 😊😊😊
IAM STEEMITJAKARTA INDONESIA
Beautiful happy comment! I love you!
Me too @the-source 😊😊😊
Thanks you so much brother @the-source
Welcome! It seems that you are going to have good time here ;)
Hello, you are welcome to steemit!!! I give you upvote to your post
very interesting and cool to introduce yourself through writte a wonderfull poem.Welcome to the esteemit you are amazing.. don't forget to fallow me !!!!!!
Great post @lilastar best wishes for the future.
Steemit is platform for everyone.
Yes! We are building an EcoSystem to bring in a better world for all!
we are investors in ourselves, and this is an open-source co-creation space for systems, businesses, applications, to build wealth that can be spread amongst our Steemit Democracy!
img credz: pixabay.com
Nice, you got a 4.0% @minnowbooster upgoat, thanks to @earthnation
Want a boost? Minnowbooster's got your back!
You're not alone Lila ;-).
Haha, Michael Jackson song! Lila shared a "Just Steemit" meme, a Michael Jackson reference as well..
Michael is with us. His spirit continues to guide us. Thank you MJ!
The @OriginalWorks bot has determined this post by @lilastar to be original material and upvoted(1.5%) it!
To call @OriginalWorks, simply reply to any post with @originalworks or !originalworks in your message!
Welcome to the Steemit Family : )
Welcome to Steemit @lilastar :)
Thank You Michael! Just beginning to find my way here <3 Happy to follow you. I'm into crypto too.
Its very nice welcome to steemit <3
Upvoted and RESTEEMED :)
You rock!!! It feels so great to see us all supporting each other!!
I encourage you to check out our Steemit Academy, Steemit Team, and Steemit Guild, @earthnation .
We are rallying together, to help everyone come into abundance and bring in a better world!
www.asc.ai/steemit
or join us at our HomeCenter- www.asc.ai/homecenter , click "Calendar", and join our Steemit Weekly Meetings!
I've often felt like an alien myself. Welcome to Steemit!!
We all are everything, and nothing! :)
You have been all there is, was, and ever will be, in all lifetimes.
Own it.
Welcome to steemit!
Some of us never belonged to this place, yes. It is a good thing to know it, especially when one has a strong sense of mission.
We are the Source within, and without.
Own this current mission, in this final incarnation.
We collectively are grounding Heaven to Earth.
Nice to meet you here Jakob! Great to be finding the consciousness raising community here like yourself <3
Welcome @lilastar
You may like this nice Card. Use it in any way you want: This version is a completly free gift for you. Save it at your Computer or Smartphone. Some clever Steemians print it for takeaway. The QR-Code leads directly to your blog.
Do you want to know more?
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Thanks ! What a cool offering.
Man this is heavy and I thought that I had it rough because I was the only kid in school who didn't speak the language. I'm glad that you found yourself! You are cute as heck !! I'm sending you a big cyber kiss on the cheek and strong loving bear hug!!!!!
This wonderful post has received a bellyrub 59.88 % upvote from @bellyrub. Please make sure to vote for my pops as a witness @zeartul,Here
Nice post my friend and nice photo i resteemed this post
Thanks You ! Appreciate the resteem <3
Hey! I saw that you joined couple months back so I am sending you some love. One upvote from me and see you in your next post!
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What's up. Welcome to Steemit.
Thanks for the upvote. You make original hip hop beats?
Yes i do. I make beats from scratch and beats that i sample.
Awesome!!!!!! How about an @earthnation beat?! That would be super cooooooool!
Join us, we are family!
Epic suggestion!
My steemit account just got approved, this is the very first post that I've read! I'm glad it was too, so many layers to these words and they resonate with me on a certain level. We are living in a SHARED HUMAN EXPERIENCE. Thank you Lila for giving us a glimpse into your soul!
Welcome to the steemit :)
Congratulations @lilastar! You have received a vote as part of @raserrano donation to this project.
I will be able to help more #minnows
Welcome Dear and hope to you the best here
great posting !
Thank YOU!!
Nice introduction !
Ty! Khalil. Following you now!
nice friend.... keep it up good work
This post has received a 25.96 % upvote from @buildawhale thanks to: @earthnation. Send at least 1 SBD to @buildawhale with a post link in the memo field for a portion of the next vote.
To support our daily curation initiative, please vote on my owner, @themarkymark, as a Steem Witness
Well done! And this post has won you instant stardom!! ;)
Congrats!!!
Welcome Ma'am :)
written in 2012 means now its a good memory too
Now is the time to do the things you haven't usually done..
VOTED!
https://steemit.com/tr/@hsyng/akrostis-reyhan
Very nice , always remember you are not along!!
@lilastar...you r actually a superstar..after this superb post.
Keep steeming....upvoted n followed!
Thank you! I appreciate that reflection ;-)
Haha, LilaSuperStar!
All credit to upvote bots. First post and youre already using upvote bots. Salute
Actually, I know nothing about the bots. My friend loved my post and said it need get big ;-) so did the bot thing to it!
You got a nice and poetic introduction, congrats!
Thank You so much!
Wellcome to steemit @lilastar 😊 I think you should write book and send me 😊
Thank you dear sir. I did start one called Why Love Wins and There's only One of us here! <3
WOW :IN LOVE!! Upvoted!!
Welcome to Steemit @lilastar !
This is probably one of the best introduction posts I have seen in my time on Steemit. Keep it up and you will thrive here :)
We have a huge community of alternative people on here... I'm looking forward to more of your content!
ॐ
~ @xtetrahedron
Thanks for speaking from your heart! You rock!!!
You are such a valuable presence on Steemit, keep it up!!
Epic! Thanks for the vote of confidence. Dig your presence here as well <3
Your post was resteem by Whale ResteemService @booster007
Keep it up!
All the best!
First Follow for 3 hours | Send a minimum transaction 0.100 steem/SBD with post URL in memo | Your post gets resteemed | A post can only be resteemed once!
In every success stories there always mentioned about huge struggles.There are many reason for that, you can't get succeeded until you work hard, and working hard is also one type of struggle. So keep struggling and be succeed in every path of life. Thanks
you are a great poet!
Gratitude for the appreciation. Blessings.
love to follow
Welcome to Steemit. By the looks of this post, you have had a warm reception so far. Cheers to future success
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STOPWow I loved this! I AM YOU.The simple concept of spirituality and put foreward so beautifully. So many sentences that I felt was just coming straight from us as an collective entity.
We're kind of into similar arts I think? I wrote a rap for a Steemit cypher a month ago("Mosaic Rhymes") that started and ended with the repeating sentence "I am you and you are me" ^^ Just as a small example, and on one of my first posts here I wrote something about how I want to be everything.
I already knew we're not alone feeling this. But it still feels really good to to hear it from you again so thank you!
Super Sweet! Yaya, love to keep finding people who are play pray he'artists! Steemit Cyper!? I'll check that out. Keep on rocking the mic.
Look up @termitemusic's last worldwide cypher if you want to do something over a beat! Not completely sure I got the 'play pray he'artists' haha but I'm probably one. (Heart)ists?
Yes!!!
You're going to love our @earthnation community!
We are partnering more and more with Steemit every day; the more all of us invest time, energy, and resources!
The sky/ scratch that, there is no limit! :)
Checked it out and enjoyed your last post so I'm following! Thanks!