Three and a half years ago I was homeless in Baltimore City, MD strung out on heroin. Prior to that I was bartending at a dive strip club in East Baltimore that I happened to live in as well. Though I was surrounded by bar patrons and the employees that worked there I felt completely isolated, lonely, and hopeless. The only time I would leave the strip club was to go across the street every morning to the maintenance clinic to get dosed 120 mgs of methadone or the 7-Eleven across the street to get my cigarettes and food (if I felt like I could eat). Other than that I didn’t leave the club.
I had my drugs delivered to me every day- sometimes a few times a day. I was surrounded by people, but felt completely alone. I was a shell of the man I once was and certainly am today. I hardly talked to anyone, I didn't eat, I didn't shower, I didn't do anything but live to use and use to live. That is- if you can even call it living. I had lost over 100 lbs in less then a year and only weighed 160 lbs, if that. I overdosed 12 times in 2016 and lost the will to live. I was defeated on all accounts.
Somewhere in the middle of all this a close friend mine Owl @movement19, who is not in sobriety broke down to me how bad off I really was. I really respected his opinion and held his friendship above most anyones. He opened up his home to me so I could detox my self in a safe place in a quiet over 150 miles from Baltimore. He told me how things were on a different level then your typical "Karen" expulsion of things. However in a typical drug addict behavior his words went in one ear and out the other and I left once the withdrawals really started to hit me.
I never should have left the safety of my friend Owls house, that same night I ended up getting my car shoot up in Baltimore city. The fun didn’t stop there however. I ended up driving right outside the city lines that night to let the heat die down. I didn’t really have any place to go so I found a nice quiet parking lot in the county and proceeded to get high. It was there in that parking lot I had a drug induced heart attack.
I was in the hospital for almost a month after that, the Drs found that i had Endocarditis which was caused by the growth of bacteria on my heart valves. That bacteria growth lead to an infected mass called a "vegetation". The bacteria was introduced in to my bloodstream through shooting up in unsterile environments. My first day in the hospital is when they put me on methadone because my body could not of survived going through the opiate withdrawals.
One would think with two different near death experiences sitting in the hospital on suicide watch I would think about turning my life around. Though I did think about some of the things that I happened to remember Owl telling me, that was not enough. Even overhearing my own mother pray to god that I would just get it together or just die so I would be relieved of all the worldly pains I was going through was not enough either. All I could focus on was getting that next fix. So it should come as no surprise that as soon as I got out of the hospital I was right back at it again and harder then ever.
Things only got worse for me in the last month of active addiction. Due to a fight at the club I lost my job and my place to live. Completely homeless with snow falling around me I resorted to sleeping in abandon houses and people’s sheds. I’ll never forget spraying spray paint into a bowl and lighting it on fire just so I wouldn’t freeze to death at night.
Around New Year’s Eve a complete stranger snuck me past his roommate so I could have a warm place to stay. I started my “detox” there- hidden in his closet from his roommate. At that point I come in contact with a close friend who offered me a chance out of Baltimore down here to South Florida.
Two days later, I boarded a train for the 24 hour trip to Florida from Maryland. I think it’s worth mentioning I almost missed the train because I needed to get one last fix before I left Baltimore. I ended up overdosing in the bathroom at the train station. That was 1/2/17 and it was the last time I used. If dying in the bathroom wasn’t enough, the 24 hour sleepless train ride, complete with seizures and vomiting on a poor little old lady, definitely was a nice way to end that chapter of my life.
Little did I know that the trip would change my life forever. I wouldn’t want to trade my new way of living for anything. Getting sober allowed something amazing to happen. I started living my life again for the first time in 10 years.
Once I got to Florida I started by following a few simple suggestions and working the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous with a sponsor. That gave me the strong foundation I needed to create a life beyond my wildest dreams!
In the last few years thanks to my new found sobriety I have been able to continue my education and become licensed in crisis prevention and intervention along with other accreditation in the behavioral health field. This has helped tremendously with my career in the substance abuse and mental health field.
I have also been able to start a few of my own companies and gained financial security. Along with hiring others who are looking to better their own lives. These companies and projects have a wide span but the recovery related ones are sober homes, book publications, Recovery Inc, and an addiction help line.
Those are nothing compared to regaining my self-worth and a healthy relationship with myself. Let’s not also forget being given a chance to regain the trust of a good bit of my family along with many old friends. Thanks to sobriety I’m also happy to say all the relationships in my life today are healthy ones- especially the one with my girlfriend.
Three and a half years ago I didn’t know or like the person in the mirror, but I’m happy to say today I have a life beyond my wildest dreams. If you are struggling, I just want you to know I understand the way you feel and you don’t have to go down this road alone. Please reach out for help! I’m always here and your life matters!
You matter!
Special thanks to
@movement19 for never giving up on me and introducing me to Steemit
&
@johnvibes for being so open with his health battle in the past which gave me courage to be open about my addiction.
▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ █ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▃ ▂
Please visit my website or call 888-343-6693
Check out my Facebook or my Instagram
@movement19 for never giving up on me and introducing me to Steemit
&
@johnvibes for being so open with his health battle in the past which gave me courage to be open about my addiction.
OK, this is epic.
seriously though this is a perfect example of what an #introduceyourself post is about and what #hive is meant to be about. I felt inspired by reading and thankful for you sharing your personal trials and tribulations.
Very inspiring to see you use the grime and grit of a past life in many different gutters as a way to stop others ending up in the same place. massif props.
Yeah brother I’ve been given a gift... It’s called life and I never want to waist it again.
My buddy @movment19 has been trying to get me to come over for a while now and I’m so happy I made the jump! In a year I will be writing about my hive addiction Hahahaha
I’m very impressed with hive so far and the warm welcome I have received! This platform goes to show ppl can work together and play nice! Something about how they censor us on FB IG & other platforms makes ppl be a dick. Or it just might be the couple of extra steps and the learning of how this community works keeps unmotivated ass holes away. (From what I’ve seen so far at least. I’m sure their are a few in here)
Anyways thanks man and I can’t wait to see some of your new stuff!
Wow, what an amazing story I didn’t even finishing reading just so I could comment ( going to now!) . I know @movement19 he seems like a great guy ... ok, back to my reading ..
They broke the mold when they made @movement19 thats for sure!
Also shout out to you @hiveqa for helping me get set up!
Nothing but love my man! <3
❤️
Thank you for sharing 🙏 very inspiring story, stay safe & strong 💪🏻
Thank you!
It was nice waking up to such a great post today. I love you!
Hell yeah brother!!! Im glad you liked the post. I look forward to writing NOT on facebook. It might take me a while to find my voice but Im stoked!
Congratulations on kicking the addiction, you certainly seem to have turn things around in style!
Thank you brother and 100% man. I have no idea how I have been so blessed. I guess it’s all about just knowing my own personal limits in some areas (like I’m not good at getting high) And then pushing my limits and other areas (business and outreach)
Playing to your strengths, well done for finding them and encouraging others to do the same.
Hell yeah. Crazy to think I went through all that shit just to get my own personal life purpose.
The most important part of helping others struggling with addiction is attraction rather than promotion. Which means I’m not out here telling people they have to get sober or stop using drugs. Truth be told I support anyone and everyone who can party responsibly. I just know I can’t. And if by chance someone here’s my story or my experiences and they realize they want to change I am here to help them.
side note when families hire me to do interventions these principles go out the window and sadly this is why interventions don’t have the hugest success rate with long-term sobriety. However a lot of times interventions are a must just to keep that person alive.
what an inspirational story, thanks for sharing.
Thanks man. Ill be sharing more soon. I did a post last night on the children’s book i wrote dealing with addiction, please check it out.
btw im looking into this bulletproof coffee
Welcome, but this isn't Steemit.
Curators: This account is verified.
100% right there lol
Great post about your journey btw
Thanks man. I’m so happy I have a place other then Facebook to tell my story. I can’t wait to really get grimy, open and honest with the shit in here.
We're rough n ready, bring the grime!
That is some story and something fresh from the usual shit that I read in the intro section. Welcome to HIVE, hope you can tell us some more tales.
Thanks man I really appreciate that! I definitely will be telling some more tales 100% I’m sure you could imagine I have a bunch from many years of active addiction. Some sad a lot could be considered funny (if you have a dark sense of humor) and then the stories that follow into sobriety have just been amazing and full of hope to others still struggling.
Follow cus this could be a fun ride buddy.
I also will do other content then just myself as well.
Solid turn around bro! I can relate to your story and feel it, it's a trip the suffering we put on ours loves, most of it from a point of not dealing with our thoughts and hiding in shame. Glad you made it out, the world's better off with this side of you shining through.
I’m so blessed I made it out of that life and on to the other side. I’m happy I was able to write an article you could somewhat relate to hopefully you didn’t relate to much. I don’t wish that shit on anyone!
I was on the "as a child of a heroin junkie" side of things. Can't really decide if that's the good or worse side of things, but I saw what it did first hand for years and grew from it, choosing not to be like they were. It hasn't all been sunshine and rainbows.... I've definitely hit some lows without jumping into the darker substances,... Somewhere along the way I picked up that psychedelics and weed are more then enough to cope and adjust mindsets. Granted it's a medicine and the goal should be to not use when the mindset has shifted, but I feel I've definitely also wallowed in those spaces longer then needed, I guess it's really about mindfulness and appreciation lessons learned and skills acquired along the way. Life is shit and shit happens, but those are just hurdles to overcome, sidequest bad guys. LoL. And the journey is always best when enjoyed, not just celebrated at the end, part of why I'm not strictly on the side of participation awards... I could go on all day on depression,.. it's fun one. But I enjoy doing the dishes, so.....
Damn being a kid thrown into that mess sounds horrible man. Im sorry you had to go through that.
"Somewhere along the way I picked up that psychedelics and weed are more then enough to cope and adjust mindsets."
I wish I could have picked that up. Those where the good days of my partying followed by the darker ones.
Tho Im completely abstinent from all mind altering substances, I defiantly see the benefits of psychedelics and support anyone who uses them on their journeys responsibly.
Do you find they help with depression? going thr life sober Ive had to figure out some fun ways to deal with my depression. Im sure ill get into all that in some latter post.
"Frothy emotional appeal seldom suffices". - Bill Wilson. 🙂👍
Exactly.
People couldn’t keep me sober
Situations couldn’t keep me sober
Hell prison couldn’t keep me sober
Nothing but putting in the work and just doing it works. That’s why it’s so important to say that pleading with an alcoholic or an addict never works.
Congratulations @recoveryinc!
You raised your level and are now a Minnow!
Do not miss the last post from @hivebuzz:
Support the HiveBuzz project. Vote for our proposal!
Thank you! Im going to check your post out now!
Congratulation for your achievements on the Hive blockchain @recoveryinc 👍
Thank you. Im loving Hive!
Congratulations, all of my admiration for your success in battling this!
thank you so much!!!
Actually the fact that you started a company and gave other people jobs... It is amazing how you changed your life. Trully an inspiration. Welcome to Hive!
Its been one hell of a ride and i wouldn’t change it for the world. My life has a purpose today!!!
🙏👏👏👏
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Thank you 🙏
Thanks so much @darthknight for your big upvotes on my post, I'm truly grateful. Hopefully you figured out all the stuff with them messing with you crypto.
Big Shoutout to
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@sn0n
For the Resteem