Damn dude, i just happy you are ok now, and i hope those meds will work. As i've said before i also used to have anxiety and panic attacks, that get more rare now. I've been offered meds early on, but i refused them, i guess my case was not that severe, since i knew if i start taking them there will be no way back.
I have found my way out... through manual labor. I started renovating an old house all by myself, even though i knew nothing about construction at all. Been working in front of computer for all of my life. It helped me a lot, while i keep my brain occupied with it there is no space for other thoughts. But you have to be busy.
More and more people that i know have anxiety and panic attacks, i do not know why, but that's a fact.
I hope it works out for you and meds will help without fucking you liver. I've also noticed that working out helps me a lot. Have you tried that?
Ya, I workout and it helps. I know what you mean about keeping busy to help keep your mind off things. That was the main reason why I went back to work, so that I don't have a lot of free time. I have been retired for a while now and once I finished school, I needed something to keep my mind busy. Photography has really helped me through the years and has given me an outlet. I need to get more serious about my photography again and have that fill up more of my time.
I guess we face similar challenges. But everything will be fine, just let's keep it busy :) And photography definitely helps, i though i would simply go to India and start shooting street photography on those hard times :) What's the worst thing that can happen and you might end up being world renown photographer for that.
I know where it's coming from, but hey, lets work out, and shoot some dope images, you have a great talent so hit that shutter button mate!