Los Angeles: The Left Armpit of the Universe

in #life7 years ago

Flee Los Angeles!

"Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles." - Frank Lloyd Wright

This is my unsolicited, purely and very personal opinion.

The Left Armpit of the Universe

The Left Armpit of the Universe
Photo courtesy of Austin Lee and http://unsplash.com

Your mileage may vary.

You may love the city. I, most certainly, do not.

Today, I was waylaid in a traffic jam. A distance I should have been able to cover in about ten minutes took an hour and a half.

It was the perfect storm.

Google maps routed me directly to an entirely blocked off road under construction.

Los Angeles Traffic Control detoured me directly to several city blocks that were barricaded for a movie shoot.

Los Angeles city buses, those great, lumbering dinosaurs that one dare not challenge, took priority right-of-way while locking up all other traffic like puzzle pieces in a sliding-number puzzle.
Locked up like a number puzzle...

Locked up like a number puzzle...
Photo courtesy of OpenClipart-Vectors and http://pixabay.com

My conclusion?

You've already read it. It's the title of this piece.
If you know what's good for you, you'll avoid Los Angeles like the plague...

NOTE: To any Los Angelenos out there; please don't take this personally.
Just take my advice; flee with your life.

You're welcome.


~FIN~


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AZ transplant living in LA, here..... so where would you ideally live?

Hi, Sheila,

Great question... Maybe Ecuador? :D

I'll think about that some more. Carlsbad is not bad... That's where I surf, mostly... ;)

Thank you for visiting and commenting!

Hello fellow Angeleno. If you're looking for a reason to be glad you live here, I have one for you! I'm hosting a Steemian Open Mic in L.A. with the opportunity to win some of @papa-pepper's money. You perform? If not, you audience? It's FRIDAY. I'm looking for Angeleno Steemians to come. Here's the post with details: https://steemit.com/contest/@improv/open-mic-in-los-angeles-win-sbd

I've been to 42 states, and I have no interest in California. I once read, from someone who has spent a significant amount of time in L.A., the city of L.A. referred to as 'the used up whore of the United States'. I have never been there. I do not know this to be true. It is low on my list of places to go next. From the bottom of the list it reads, in reverse order, Riyadh, Calcutta, Los Angeles...so it's not the last place, but it's not a priority.

Welcome to Los Angeles

I was commenting to my wife that LA probably has a few redeeming qualities. For example, we passed a place where you can buy pupusas, an El Salvadoran food. You can probably buy just about any ethnic food your heart desires. You can also probably source just about any industrial device or material you may need for your enterprise.

Nevertheless, I think I will continue to seek to avoid this city to the greatest extent possible.

It sounds like a plan to me.

The best thing about California is that 99.997% of it is not Los Angeles.

Fair point. I have wanted to, at some time, see the giant trees, if nothing else.

LOL! Good point! :)

Unfortunately, the California state government and its city and county minions pervade the entire state and are nearly inescapable. :O

Cities suck. The bigger the city, the more it sucks.

It's pretty big, and pretty bad...

Hmmmm but what about the beaches of LA's coast? I bet they make this place more comfortable for you...? 😉😍
One month to go and I will be in New York and then Vegas. Can't wait!

The beaches there are nice, but crowded! :O

I hope you have a wonderful trip!!! :)

I have no desire to visit L.A. I would say L.A. seems like it would be a special kind of horrible. The one city I've been to I hated was St. Lewis. It was really bad to drive though and a pain to get turned around if you got lost. In my opinion Atlanta is the nicest big city. People were really friendly there. I got lost and strangers were really helpful in getting me turned around. I even had a homeless guy stop and help me when I ended up in a bad part of town. Southern hospitality was very present there.

So nice to hear that about Atlanta!

I've been there, but only "overnight" and did not get a real sense of the city...

oh can i use that line when am asked why i haven't been to LA lols...what's wrong with the FART?

You may certainly use the line! ;)

At least you didn't make your own version of the movie Falling Down.

I'm not very fond of movie making after today's misadventure! ;) :D

I'm just not very fond of that city. Too many memories of being within three miles of LAX with an hour to spare... and still having to worry about making the flight. It's insane!

It was almost unbelievable. Stuck there in traffic in a multi-ton car with no way to move gives you the most helpless, frustrated feeling.

All my fantasies of flying cars were running through my head!

Snark approaching...
It's as if you've never heard of walking.
Snark at an end.

I apologize for the snark. I am feeling a bit defensive of this city I love. I think I'll go post about it.

I try to avoid picking fights with cities even when they seem to pick fights with me - I think it's a west coast thing. I've been stuck in horrendous traffic jams in Vancouver and hassled by Mounties. Don't they know who I am? LOL!!

They obviously must not have recognized you.... ;) :D

yeah, in that case, a good thing :)