I was born to a single mother who was single because she wanted to be; not because she had to be. The wild child in her family. She's the rebel in a family where everybody else got married either before they had any kids, or sure as hell right after they found out they were pregnant.
As children, she told us that all of our births were "Saturday Night Accidents" and that none of our births were planned, much less, wanted.
In short; she hated kids, and never wanted any.
But she wouldn't get an abortion, not so much because she was against it, but because she couldn't afford it; as it would detract from the precious booze, weed, cigarettes, and lottery-ticket money.
One Mother, but No Fathers...
Word began to spread among the men that she was "easy" (I hate describing my mom like that, but it's true, she's even said so). So they'd drop their loads, hang around for the birth; then disappear shortly after that to go create more "illegitimate" kids to abandon.
If we were lucky, we'd get a phone call on our birthday - no gifts of course - just a call wishing us a happy birthday.
5 kids from 4 different men.
We're all technically half-siblings to each other, save for tow of my little sisters who had the same guy hang around long enough to inseminate my mom twice before bouncing. But I call them all my full siblings, because we endured hell and deprivation in extreme poverty together.
It's one of the reasons I'm not only pro-choice, but pro abortion to the extreme.
No woman should be forced to have kids she doesn't want. And I can remember the endless times mom pointed her finger at all of us cursing us out for having the nerve to have been born: "I hate all of you! Having to feed all these damn kids! You're the reason I can't get anywhere in life!" Then she'd head to her bedroom and slam the door to get drunk, until "tonites man" came around to spend the night with her.
We'd wake up with a different strange man in our apartment day after day. Yep, my mom was (and still is) the rebel in the family.
So me and my older sibling would sit and eat our beans feeling guilty for having been born.
No child should ever have to feel like that.
Hungry, In More Ways Than One...
Many days there was no food at all in the house except for the free lunch that we bought home for the infants. Yet she refused to allow us to to let anyone know, and many was the night I'd go to sleep with a moaning belly.
So yeah, I didn't grow up in a third-world country, but I might as well have, as we knew true deprivation. As ten-year-old saddled with the adult responsibilities of having to help raise three infants of an as usual passed-out-drunk mother; I plotted for a way out.
I swore that I'd never produce kids I couldn't pay for. None of my progeny would ever have to eat starch and butter for dinner as we did (yes, it's true. We actually ate that on occasion, as it was all we had in the food closet).
Around us was a sea of misery. Mom wasn't alone in having multiple kids from several absent "dads." The rot spread far and wide, warping families and the minds of those unfortunate kids trapped in these unfortunate circumstances.
I saw the school-to-prison cycle up close and personal. I witnessed the poverty-welfare-disability circle in real-time, day after day. Kids didn't dream of becoming a doctor, lawyer, or owning their own small business. They dreamt of getting old enough to either sell drugs, become a lifelong criminal, or find some way to qualify for either welfare or disability while living in "The Projects."
That was their imagined and hoped-for future.
But it wasn't going to be mine...
My logical mind saw beyond the confines of my present circumstances.
A life of welfare? That's it? Nah, there had to be another way, as I could see even as a ten-year-old, the dependency that created in the minds of the people who saw that as their optimal future.
I had to find a way out of the Poverty Matrix.
Seeing Clearly, and Breaking Out
There was a big, wide world out there. And while I couldn't visit it yet in person, I could enrich my mind in the world of books. Thus I became an avid reader, and soaked up as much knowledge as I could. It was obvious that not everyone wanted to break out as I did, but I wasn't going to be held back by them.
Several things stood out to me. I'd always tended to "notice" little things that other people missed; hence the name 'EverNoticeThat.'
Many poor people in my neighborhood shared some of the same characteristics:
- Unmarried
- Many kids from different fathers
- Uneducated (dropping out in high school, or even grade school)
- Spending money on the wrong things (buying a new TV with no food ion the house, for example)
- Alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, lottery, bingo
- No financial education, no investment education
- Engaging in criminal activity
- Gangs
- No intellectual curiosity about the world around them
In fact, there was a strange absence of ANY interest in reading books save for me alone. I was seen as the oddity for always having my head in books. I'd get teased (an even beaten up on occasion) for reading a lot. This had the effect of teaching me the vital importance of surrounding yourself with the right people.
Seeing my mother waste the rent and food money on booze and lottery tickets, drove home the importance of having a budget.
And following it.
Seeing her passed out on booze while the infants were crying for food, made me never want to drink. To this day, I can't stand the smell of alcohol, and don't drink, smoke, and have NEVER tried drugs. I learned lessons from the people in my neighborhood and have never been arrested, in jail, or charged with a crime.
Life's hard enough. Why make it harder?
Thus I had already dipped my toes into the world of investments when cryptocurrency came around back in 2009. I saw the potential immediately. The only thing that has "held me back" (so to say), is needing to spend my funds caring for ill, elderly family members.
Priorities, right? These people helped me growing up, so to me I'm doing God's work by giving back in return.
It's one of the reasons I'm so happy to see someone break out of poverty using hive. I visited Africa in the Navy and saw real poverty there. That's why I'm thrilled when I see an African realize their European, UK, or American dream, and break out into a better life. So if you're reading this and you're African, I'm rooting for you!
My financial education taught me the value of playing the "long game" when it comes to crypto. Projects startup, crash and burn, but the long march of the blockchain continues unabated.
There's so much unrealized potential out there. You haven't missed the boat, because it's still being built. We already see how crypto is changing lives, and how Hive is making a difference for people in countries around the globe. And it can do the same for you and me. So stay educated and keep plugging away.
Breaking out of the poverty mindset is quite difficult.
We do not have many examples, the heroes we are shown are "sports heroes", the other is the pimp or dealer who has has the fancy car.
We don't see people like Robert Kiyosaki held up as someone to model our life after. Most people don't even know who he is.
So, only a few people get the information, or go looking for it.
The other part, and i believe, the harder part is the emotions. You have to feel you are deserving of being rich. And so much of the poor "hate the rich", and you can't be rich, you can't even be well-to-do, when you hate the rich. You have to break out of that mindset.
Like you with abortion, i believe we should get rid of welfare. Women should be afraid of having sex with a Johnny-come-lately. They should be avoiding guys who are not stable. They should be avoiding the bad boys. But, they can give into lust, and let welfare keep them alive (barely). It is a horrible trap.
HIVE is an interesting place, where you can actually get enough money to make a small difference. (large difference if you are in a poor country)
The Robert Kiyosaki books should be given out to each student in schools. Hid Rich Dar, Poor Dad book, really opened up my eyes, and can do the same for anyone that reads them.
In that neighborhood, all I wanted to do was get out. But there was a "crabs in the bucket" effect, where the people there got angry and tried to stop anyone attempting to escape.
Amen to all of this!
Fellow "first world poor" here. My dad was the one who did all the drugs and drinking and smoking and gambling, and like you, I never did, because I had the example of seeing that and saying, "no thanks."
Re: spending money on the wrong things, I learned that lesson too, and aside from books (hurrah books!) I pretty much always spent on necessities (and aren't books kinda a necessity? ;) ). Back when I worked at the hospital, I was saving up for a car and people were always saying, why don't you just buy it and make payments? And I would tell them that was CRAZY to me, because what if it broke down and I had no money to fix it? Then I would be stuck paying for insurance and payments and parking space and etc. and still not have the car. NTM I was still not being paid well (I've never crossed the 30k/year threshold in income in my life), so I didn't think I could handle all those costs AND car payments. It was a good thing I didn't, as in the end, as I eventually lost that job and ended up living off that savings for some time.
Re: financial education, I always recommend the book, The Money Book For The Young, Fabulous, And Broke by Suze Orman. Most of her books are more like, money mindset kinda books, but this one is legit the financial literacy class we should have all gotten in high school. Retirement savings, how to buy a house, etc. It's really good.
!LUV
Orman is an inspiring writer and public speaker, and it's strange that we have to get practical financial information from outside authors, instead of from the school system itself.
With my mom, I could have almost understood if she'd have enjoyed her vices AFTER paying her bills first, but No, it was always before. This resulted in utilities being shut off, and us having to go without food, heat, and hot water. Crazy.