Good read. I actually found myself feeling as if I am somehow repulsive to others as I get this "arrogant" word thrown at me a lot. It sent me on this whole trip of questioning myself and the way others perceive me. It also made me feel like pulling away socially. Still presently debating and feeling like that. I mean, we want people to think the world of us....I thought I would be judged by my deeds and heart. What I have come to learn though, is even when you may be questioning yourself it is the unmatched love of others in relation to the value that you put into other people that is lacking. In other words, we can't always expect the two way street of relationships to be both lanes equal. Sometimes your lane will be the widest and while others have their own lane of how they treat you accordingly, nevertheless it may not match yours. I love myself, I know who I am. I know what I've done for others. I stick to that.
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Thanks for your thoughtful comment, @geechidan. You certainly owe me no answers, but here are a couple questions that came to my mind, for your consideration:
Those who call you arrogant... are they people you aspire to be like?
How are they admirable to you, so that their opinion warrants influencing your behavior?
SOMETIMES that particular word is used by people who still prefer to shrink themselves, and they feel odd or annoyed by others who aren't sorry for their big wings or bright lights.
Hmm...didn't expect a follow up. pleasantly surprised by your question as it does make me feel a bit depressed at times and i feel a need to talk about it. No...I don't aspire to be like those who may feel i come across as arrogant. I'm a "big thinker"...and I usually aim very high, not in vain though, as I usually have knowledge and research and talent, to back up my aims...I've heard some say it's how I talk...but I don't talk down to anyone or anything like that...so i didn't accept that. I think you're right about the "big wings" part....Though at the same time I don't want to denounce what the individuals around me aim for. But I am partcularily different from many of my peers is tht I don't accept defeat and in instances where I should give in, I don't....even if my giving in is me "not giving a f@8$ " as maybe they would. I don't accept that I can't break or bend anything to my liking....to my pleasure...to my goal...especially if the goal is deserving of everyone with a good heart and societal intention. So yea...I think some people aren't as audacious in life...and they would very much so like you to move as silently and as humble as them...