Oh mama, Sooooo much welling up. When a moment of such joy becomes the source of pain, and for so long, the residual trauma is understandable. I weep with you for your lost bonding and the scars that were left from the negligence of an impersonal system...and I celebrate your strength to take back control of your health. Most of all...I celebrate your decision to accept a new version of you and to be okay with a slower pace. I know this lesson...and it can be a very hard one. Our identities are core to everything we know, when this identity is blasted apart through birth trauma, depression, or medical abuse, the damage is so deep and long lasting. Coming to accept a change in that identity is a feat...and a hidden blessing. Hugs to you from across the prairies. Some day I hope we get a chance to chat more about the fog and fanning it away. <3 <3 <3
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I am having a hard time finding the right words to respond to your comment. Everything was just explained away as a mental illness for all these years and now it is so relieving finding out that I really couldn't have avoided it given the circumstances....I have felt so weak for so long. I just want to embrace this new normal as best I can....I used to be a force to be reckoned with ;) I too hope someday we can meet in person <3
Much love, have a wonderful Sunday <3 <3 <3