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This is something that bugs me. When people hear a case of a lady being raped, their first question always seems to be "What was she wearing? ". If they are told she was wearing anything revealing, then they go:
"You can't blame the guy, the way she was dressed provoked him"
What does that even mean?. In most families in the country I live in, you hear the parents go on and on about their daughters keeping themselves "chaste" and "pure" till marriage, but they don't really give the same instructions to the boys. I am not saying there is something wrong with remaining a virgin till marriage, what I am saying is that the restraint taught to girls doesn't seem to be also taught to boys.
Don't just teach people how not to get raped, teach your children self control, discipline and how to respect people's boundaries and consent. People are always quick to claim that the person that was raped provoked the rapist somehow, but what of people that rape children or disabled people. People cannot stay locked up in their houses out of fear, so stop perpetuating the belief that guys just can't help themselves. It's a disgusting and wrong philosophy to have.
We all know about the politician( I don't want to mention any names) who claimed that if a woman is truly raped her body has a way of preventing rape. He said rape only occurs between two strangers who are not acquainted with each other and not between people who know each other. He claimed that most women run around actually wanting men to force their will on them and that the few women who don't want this are those that are "legitimately raped". According to him, when a woman is truly raped, she does not become pregnant. I don't know if this belief is the fault of his high school teacher to clearly explain how reproduction works or if he skipped his biology classes entirely. Trust me, a lot of women's problems would be solved if they could chose when, where, how and if they got pregnant.
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There are some of these cases all around us. We have a case that occurred earlier in the year in Lagos, where the male students of certain secondary schools, after their valedictory service (kinda like prom) would hunt down and trap the female graduates and rape them. This had been going on for years and the teachers were aware of it and they did nothing. It was the intervention of a woman working in an office close to where a girl was struggling and fighting against the guys trying to rape her, that they were exposed. The security guards in the schools, and some surrounding buildings did not care and were even recording what was going on. She saved the girls and took them personally home. What kind of society do we live in, where boys rape girls in some kind of morbid post-graduation ritual and the adults who are supposed to protect the interest of all the children do nothing. One secondary school even had the teachers lock the girls into the hall used for the party knowing fully well what would happen and preventing the escape of the girls.
There should be no victim blaming or would you say the girls provoked the rape?. All they did was attend school and everyone should have a right to education. Thanks to the woman who helped, she acted as a witness and the boys were arrested. Please people, let's prevent more cases like this and teach our children, all of them, no matter their gender to respect all human beings. We should all respect a person's decision.
NO IS NO
PLEASE COMMENT, UPVOTE AND RESTEEM
People don't go about breaking glasses and stealing jewelleries in a glass showcase because "they could" or because the owner of the "jewelry is asking for it to be stolen by keeping it in a glass showcase!" So any one citing the dressing of the lady to be a cause for rape should take a trip down the strip club. The people performing there are women and the one watching are men. No one gets raped. For the simple reason that the men there are in control of their behaviour. So I think that archaic argument of "she was asking to be raped by the way she dressed" is pure BS.
Nice article ✌️
Thank you for that. No one gets blamed for it if they get robbed and the same should happen if they get raped @greenrun
I think you misconstrued my reply. What I meant was that people don't steal because they can or due to situation on which the goods are kept. So, in other words I'm saying there is no excuse for rape. Not even if the lady is walking around naked ✌️
I have not once in my life heard someone ask "what was she wearing?" upon learning that someone was raped. I don't doubt that there are some people in the world who react this way but I don't believe for a minute it is most people, or even very many people who do.
As far as warning girls more than boys about sex, I suppose that is true but it seems more practical than sexist or rape culture related. It is the girl who has the potential to get pregnant, not the guy.
Now I am speaking from a North American perspective as opposed to Africa and Nigeria in particular so I don't doubt things are different there but I do hear the same "rape culture" accusations here. No doubt there are plenty of sexist individuals and even rapists in the world, but here at least there is no "culture" of rape as anything remotely acceptable or excusable.
It may just be where you are from nut I have @darth-azrael
illegal drugs is the number suspect..
Yeah but some people are stone cold sober when they do this @domssalili
NO is NO!! This double standard exists in most cultures unfortunately. Raising children is mostly up to the mother, so hopefully she takes the time to teach her son how to treat women; with respect and integrity.
Best,
Jenny
www.wiseowlcoaching.com
Yeah and sometimes it gets annoying @wiseowlcoaching
You cant not judge people because women are mostly affected. Do u think men dont get raped too. But that is not the case.
I want to sit on the fence in this discussion.
Rape is forcefully gaining knowledge of someone and anybody that does that should be punished severely whether male or female.
But you cannot be sure that parents dont warn their male child not to misbehave. They do. Once in a while my mum calls me and speak some senses into me. She would touch all aspects. Not just rape. After she must have spoken i would then pick the one i think is referring to me and adjust.
If i go contrary to what she has said then it will be my fault no hers. ..
Please dont blame the parent, blame the child. He should be responsible for the consequences of his actions.
But if i become a father i would make sure i warn my daughter seriously in regards to indecent dressing. I will not forgive myself if a boy rapes her and claim it was because she was putting on a revealing cloth. . My son will not be left out too. If he rapes someone then ill personally hand him over to the police
Apart from that i dont believe the ppl that rape do it because the lady was putting in a revealing cloth. They do it out of the wickedness of their heart. If it were then most rape cases will happen in night clubs.
#saynotorape
Also
#saynotoindecentdressing
Because you know a dog will not bite u does not mean you should start putting your finger in its mouth
I strongly disagree with this. In some countries like USA where they dress in an indecent way, how many times have we heard of rape? Or is it a primary school child that was dressed in an indecent way? Indecent dressing is just an excuse.
Most times, we parents think that Males dont need sex education.. If you teach them, try talking to them, how to control themselves, at a rapist has a mother. Let the mother talk to him about
Well we are all entitled to our own opinion. I guess i have detailed enuf explanation in my comment.
And my dear rape happens everywhere.
Like @praise-eu said if you want to stop a dance on the road, you have to first stop a drummer in the bush.
Please i beg you dont get me wrong. I am not supporting rape. Please o.
I am just sharing my view.
#saynotorape
Lol, i know
I find this reply sort of confusing. Can you define indecent as used in this your reply?
Love this
The world we live in
Woman have always been the blaming point for all these, even look at when a child did something bad , it will be blamed on the mother
It all boils down to good parenting
The fact she is naked or indecently dressed does not mean you should raped her, its her body none of your business. One thing about human and control is that once you lack control on something you either blame it on something or someone
For instance those who say is the work of the devil
However we must not allow indecent dressing as it will increase the thoughts of sexual cravings and if not controlled could birth lust
To the case of the schools
Dont know what to say
Teachers that are to protect students even sleep with them
Am not suprised
Nice post bro
I agree. "Indecent" dressing is a very subjective topic. What may be seen as indecent in country A is decent in Country B. Also, in same Country A, Mr. A may find Miss X's dressing as "decent" while Mr. G may see it as "indecent". It's a subjective affair colored by education, exposure, religious inclination, outlook in life, age, etc.
Yes. To everything in life there are different perspectives.
Sometimes I wonder why some men can't control themselves when it comes to sex. Worst of all is when the guy is infected. Is it that they dont have conscience? Sometimes it hurt me to hear that some girls or ladies were raped and about the "dressing" it is an excuse and it is people with low thinking thay will say that type of a thing.
what about a small girl that went to school and the wicked male teacher lured her into sex or what about that child hawking, was her dressing seductive? Dressing is really an excuse. I hate rapist and I stand against **RAPE**. Your post is amazing and unique @jade56
I know right. Sometimes they just take advantage of those young children @plojslydia