You look kinda burst?
Said the Good Lady romantically to me.
I looked up from where I lay on the sofa, broken from a combination of hangover and the trouncing I had received just moments before at the hands of the Little Lady and her inflatable lightsabre.
Feel a bit rough.
I managed to cough out, pulling my hoodie more tightly around me to combat the hangover chills that were racking my body.
You do look a proper mess. You must have drunk an awful lot?
She said with seeming sympathy and kindness.
I did. I did. I am a daftie and no mistake.
How could I not be a daftie? The night had started with my beer post and ended in some dark den in the West End of the city.
A memory of beating a Frenchman at Pool made me snorfle a bit. He had gotten awfully angry. I am not sure if that was totally down to me humping him at Pool or if it had been me pretending to be French by saying Aw he haw he haw a lot.
What's so funny?
The Good Lady sweetly inquired.
Oh, nothing really. Met a Frenchman, he was funny.
Ah yes, the French. They are a funny lot. Did you quack at him?
She asked, waggling a finger at me as if to give me into trouble.
Only a little. You know me. I do like to quack at the French.
I chuckled.
Yes, you can be a bit of an arse that way.
She sighed with only a little roll of the eyes.
Anyway, I have just the thing to make you feel better.
She added.
I perked up. Was she going to get all goosey goosey? With the kids running about? Ooer.
What, what will make me feel better?
I gasped feebly.
Come, this way. It's beautiful. It will really perk you up.
She grabbed my hand and half-pulled, half-led me to the back door through which the sun was shining.
It was a lovely Autumn day and the sun was shining in a clear blue sky. It was almost warm.
Look at the beautiful Autumn leaves.
Said the Good Lady resting her head on my shoulder.
I looked. The garden was festooned with leaves in various Autumnal shades of gold and russet orange. It was indeed very pretty.
It's lovely.
I said trying my best to sound enthusiastic.
Isn't it just. All those beautiful leaves.
Sighed the Good Lady happily.
I nodded, wondering how long I had to stare at some orange leaves before I could get back to whining and mumping on the sofa.
It was awfully kind of me to let you go out on the lash last night wasn't it?
Asked my sweet lady wife.
Erm, yeah, chick. Thanks. I needed a blow-out.
I said gratefully. She was a top lass this one. A keeper. We were made for each other. I gazed down at her head with more love than you could shake a stick at.
She pulled her head from my shoulder and pointed at the rake leaning against the back wall of the house.
Right. Rake up those leaves will you? They get all mulchy when it rains.
She marched off chuckling happily to herself.
I stared out at the garden, my hungover head pulsing slightly.
Fucking leaves.
It'll do you the world of good!
Thanks for implanting this 'classic' into my mind this afternoon :D
I've not been able to get that one out of my head since I saw the leaves!!!
Your own doing this one! :P
Now my daughter keeps playing it on Alexa!?! Gaaaar!
Send Alexa over the hedge!
I can't.. I love her!!!
LOL!!!!
Ahh, we have found a closet Communards fan?!
Who said anything about a closet! Loud and proud right here ;)
Loud and proud like Jimmy!
Sell the garden!!!... then you don't have to deal with those leaves every year. I'm in the same boat as you.. leaves should stay put I say!
I could sell some of it! The tree'y bit!!
Maybe next summer I should spray the trees with glue. Hehe
Now.. you may be on to something there. Our's haven't started dropping badly yet. Next week it will be the shovels.
I need to get a leaf raffle mine is an awful big metal thing. Ours are totally going for it, that bit colder up here in the bitter North!
If you leave them long enough, they will blow over to the neighbor's yard.
That is unless your yard is fenced.
It's entirely enclosed by bushes and trees. It's like a box, nothing leaves! :0D
No leaves to speak of here, where I'm surrounded by evergreens! I used to do yard work from time to time, and many people who love autumn colors are willing to pay a pretty penny for someone else to rake up the aftermath.
I need evergreens!! I have two, it's not enough. Annoyingly, most of my sitting leaves are from as big colorful tree in my neighbours garden.
Hmm, maybe I could hire myself out as a man with a rake!
Extra beer money, and the good lady can't complain if you pass it off as getting exercise!
She would be over the moon on both accounts!
waaahahahahahahahahaha!!! GOOD WOMAN!
Not very long I assume, because you raked every last one of those fnckers up didn't you @meesterboom LOL!
You do realise however, that she had your best interests at heart because the task got you to sweat out the "babelaas" (that is South African for hangover) lol - she loves you, that's all!
Tomorrow will be a brighter day - with less leaves :)
I did feel a little better after the fresh air. Maybe she was looking out for me, lol!!
me thinks so.... ;)
Heh heh :0)
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Were you too hung over to see that one coming? I saw that one coming from over the horizon XD
I was, I was in a pure state. She saves these things for Sunday's when my mental agility it's somewhat impaired!!
Leaves are good for the garden as it is like a natural compost. Tell her you are going organic and it is best to leave them and she may fall for it. Put an ad in the paper for free leaves for anyone who wants to collect.
I didn't tell her that I actually just pushed a huge amount of them to the side under the bushes. I mean it is compost really!